Last weekend I went to a Hitchcock double feature–Birds and Psycho, to be exact– here in Austin. As far as films go, it doesn’t get much better than that. During the damn-gas-is-expensive drive home, I started thinking about what my dream sports doubleheader would be. The catch was it had to be something that could actually happen. Not necessarily something probable, but the scenario had to at least be possible. Hmmmm…

After much deliberation, here’s my dream sports doubleheader:

I’m at the 2009 NFL Draft in NYC. My Kansas City Chiefs are picking last in the first round, because they just won the Super Bowl, in spite of Brodie Croyle. Somehow, Tim Tebow slips all the way to the 32nd pick and my Chiefs finally nab themselves a franchise quarterback. My thirst is finally quenched after 20 years of clamoring for a QB! My brother and I kick it at the draft for awhile, proudly parading around Radio City Music Hall in our Chiefs jerseys–I’m wearing a red Larry Johnson, he’s sporting a white Dwayne Bowe. The Chiefs hit a homerrun with each of their first two picks, kind of like this year, but even more impressive given where they are picking, not to mention that Carl Peterson is calling the shots. The Chiefs are the talk of the draft, and it’s amazing to be there in person reppin’ the Red and Gold. But it’s getting late, so we take off from the draft and hurry over to…

Madison Square Garden, where my Indiana Pacers are taking on the New York Knicks. It’s Game Three of a first round series in the 2009 NBA Playoffs. The Pacers are the surprise third seed, the Knicks are the sixth seed. The Pacers dropped one of the first two games back at Conseco Fieldhouse, so they desperately need to win this one to regain home-court advantage. During the starting line-ups, the first four starters for the Pacers are the usual suspects. Then, at shooting guard, instead of saying “from Kansas, Brandon Rush”…the announcer swallows hard as he announces “from UCLA–GULP–Reggie Miller.” The collective gasp heard in the Garden is unlike anything you’ve ever heard. I get so excited I start seizuring, but my brother puts a program in my mouth to bite down on, and restrains me. I soon come back to earth.

It’s late in the fourth quarter, eight seconds left, Pacers down by three. Since Reggie isn’t in game shape, he only played about fifteen minutes, and was 0-7 on the night. But everyone in the house knows that he still can, and more importantly will, shoot. Danny Granger passes the ball into T.J. Ford, who finds Reggie coming around a masterful Jeff Foster screen. Four seconds left…Reggie catches and shoots a long three, kicking his leg out and drawing a bonehead foul from Jamal Crawford…the shot is up, barely, before the red light goes off…IT’S GOOD!!!!!!!!! You can hear a pin drop in MSG, or at least me jumping up and down screaming like a little girl. Spike Lee just collapses to the ground, unable to watch. Reggie chalks his hands…calmly steps to the line…the home crowd watches in a complete state of shock…nothin’ but net! The Pacers finally get their revenge for the infamous Grandmama four-point play. I’m just glad I was there to see it, and Reggie’s miraculous comeback.

What a day, huh?

I went around the network and asked FSB bloggers what their dream sports doubleheaders would be. Here were their answers:

Eric, Niner Noise:

49ers v.s. Rams at 1:00 pm on a Sunday in October. At the end of the 49ers game I hop on a Muni line to the China Basin to catch game 7 of the World Series between the Giants and the Angels at AT&T Park. The 49ers win 42-41 on a last second Hail Mary touchdown throw from Alex Smith to Isaac Bruce. The Giants win the World Series with a walk-off home run from Aaron Rowand.

John, Cat Crave:

Amazingly, John Smoltz has recovered and is starting.  He pitches a brilliant game into the seventh inning holding New York to only one hit.  Chipper Jones has homered twice and the Braves lead 2-0.  In comes Tom Glavine on only three days rest to close.  He is absolutely flawless closing the seventh with the final out and then through both the eighth and ninth innings.  The celebration will be on all night in Atlanta as we revel in both the World Series title and having vanquished the hated, Evil Empire!

Kim, Predominantly Orange:

It’s a Sunday afternoon in January, and I’m in Aspen at the final day of competition for the X Games. Sean White is in the perfectly groomed SuperPipe trying to top Danny Kass’s score of 92.4. White is throwing his second consecutive 900 right over my head. Before I know it, he’s got a gold medal around his neck and I’m running down the mountain trying to make it back to Denver for the Broncos-Patriots game that night. The AFC Wild-Card playoff game (hey, it’s possible the Pats could be a Wild-Card team!) is close and goes into overtime on a TD pass from Jay Cutler to Tony Scheffler. By this point snow is coming down so hard that the overtime coin has to be brushed off to show the players which side is heads and which side is tails. Pats win the toss, and on 2nd and 6, Elvis Dumervil forces the ball out of Brady’s hands. It’s recovered by John Lynch who takes it into the endzone for the score and the win.

Sam, Naptown’s Finest:

The 2009 NCAA Men’s Basketball Final Four is going to be held in Indianapolis.  Short drive for me.  In the first game, Butler is playing with a senior-less roster and beats UConn.  In the second game, Notre Dame beats North Carolina easily, and Ben Hansbrough gets to rub it in the face of his brother.  Butler-ND championship game would be hell for me.  I’m a basketball season ticket holder for Butler and a football season ticket holder for Notre Dame.  My head would explode, but I know I would be estatic no matter who won.

Daniel, Lombardi Ave:

First:

I’m in Oregon during the late spring, early summer months.  I’m staying out in Junction City at my great-great-grandparents’ old farm with some distant relatives for my stay.  During the day, I head into Eugene and catch the Eugene Emeralds, a San Diego Padres affiliate.  After the game (which is brief and just a good game), I head over to Hayward Field on the University of Oregon campus for the Pac-10 track championships.  I’m a huge running buff, and just to see some of the best college athletes on some of the most hallowed ground in track & field lore would be an amazing experience for me.  I see some new records and experience the mystique of a historic landmark.

Second:

I’m in Green Bay on a Sunday in October.  Da Bears are in town for a good ol’ fashioned grudge match and the stadium is hopping.  I get end zone seats.  The Packers dominate, 34-0.  Sexy Rexy is absolutely eaten alive by Aaron Kampman: three sacks for my man.  Rodgers throws for 300+ yards and two touchdowns, one to Greg Jennings who Lambeau Leaps right into me.  Ryan Grant tacks on 120-plus rushing yards and two touchdowns while the Packers just play a flawless game.  Then the real fun begins.  I hop a mass transit system (I hope there is one) down to Milwaukee for Game 7 of the NLCS between the Brewers and my Phillies.  Cole Hamels pitches eight shut out innings and the Phillies win 2-0 behind home runs by Ryan Howard and Chase Utley, sending them to the World Series.

Dave, Stripe Hype:

Unfortunately, the NFL isn’t instituting flex scheduling this season until Week 11 (last year, they started in Week 10). So that means my dream doubleheader — in which the Bengals’ November 9 game against Houston is moved to the next day (Monday night) so that I have time Monday morning to win the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, and then catch a quick flight to Houston to watch the Bengals win — doesn’t fit the “possible” bill. Oh, well. I probably would have gone all in and lost on the last hand anyhow.

Johnny, Bolt Beat:

During a regular season game, the San Diego Chargers record a record 12 sacks against Tom Brady, who will miss the remainder of the regular season with a broken uterus, and shut out the New England Patriots 56-0. Tomlinson pounded the Patriots by scorching them for 405 all-purpose yards, including over 200 on the ground. Philip Rivers lit up the defense, passing for four touchdowns, gaining 327 yards. He also ran for a score and drop kicked a field goal.

Shortly after the game, a party bus took a select few to downtown San Diego where the Padres hosted the Los Angeles Dodgers for Game Four in the National League Championship Series. Joe Torre’s boys in blue hammered the Friars 25-0 and completed the sweep, advancing to their first World Series since 1988. Brad Penny was nearly perfect, tossing a no-hitter, allowing only one walk. In the walk, Penny seemed confused as to why outfielder Brian Giles came to bat with his adult diaper on the outside of his pants. Catcher Russell Martin hit three home runs and had 12 RBI on his way to earning the NLCS MVP. In a rare twist, Steve Garvey came out of retirement and scored on a throwing error to first, second, third and finally home. After the game, Garvey ripped down his number from Petco Field, still confused as to why the Padres organization had it up there in the first place. It was one special day for the Dodgers.

Good times.

Vinnie, Ramblin’ Fan: