Denver Nuggets Center/Forward Chris Anderson and Pitchman Vince Offer

The Birdman used to be in the drug game, which isn’t any less noble than what the ScamWow/Crap Chop con-artist does for a living.

Boston Celtics Center/Forward Mikki Moore and Rapper Busta Rhymes

The sad thing about these two twinkies is that the Celtics’ benchwarmer is getting Moore play on the court these days than Busta is on the radio. Whoo ha! Whose ass is in check now?

Cleveland Cavs Center Zydrunas Ilgauskas and MMA Fighter Fedor Emelianenko

Big Z is Lithuanian. The Last Emperor is Russian. Makes sense that they come form similar ancestry, because they look almost identical. Except Z is a foot taller.

Atlanta Hawks Forward Josh Smith and Rapper The Game

Both of these lookalikes have street cred, but neither one will win a beauty contest any time soon. Both have a permanent “bitter beer face” thing going on.

Los Angeles Lakers Center Andrew Bynum and Actor Tracy Morgan

These two obviously have great senses of humor. Morgan is one of the funniest people in show business, while Bynum’s idea of knee rehab is giving Playboy Bunnies piggyback rides.

Singer John Legend and Cleveland Cavs Guard Mo Williams

The most underrated singer in R&B and the most underrated player in the NBA are practically twins. They even bust out the same dance moves. Channel your inner James Brown — HEEEEEY!

Orlando Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy and Porn Star Ron Jeremy

Look at this pair of portly assclowns. If they weren’t separated in the delivery room, I’m not sure the ol’ birth switcheroo ever happened.

Los Angeles Lakers Guard Jordan Farmar and Dumbo

Like another Jordan, Farmar can fly. But this time it’s not because of the shoes — it’s gotta be the ears. Phil Jackson once whistled too loud and busted his eardrums. True story.

Houston Rockets Forward Shane Battier and Pug

With the wrinkles on top of Battier’s dome and his nose and tongue like that, man, this one was just too easy. Way, way too easy. Pump-pump — pug life!

San Antonio Spurs Forward/Guard Manu Ginobili and Bronson “Balki” Pinchot

Perfect Strangers? “Well, of course not. Don’t be Ridiculous!” They look exactly alike. I wonder if Pinchot even has that funky bald spot? Or if Manu can make an espresso with a lemon twist?

Chicago Bulls Center/Forward Joakim Noah and American Idol’s Sanjaya

These two goofballs definitely look like relatives. All Noah needs is one of those Queer Eye makeovers and — bam! — brothers from a different mother.

Houston Rockets Forward Ron Artest and Ex-Knicks’ Great Anthony Mason

The only two players I’ve ever seen go to this degree with the hairffiti. Additionally, both players are about the last two hoopers you’d ever want to bump into in a dark alley.

Boston Celtics Forward Brian Scalabrine and Will Ferrell in Elf

I’ve always thought Scal looked like a hefty cross between Michael Rapaport and Screech, but with the red fro and all that Celtic green — dude’s looking straight North Pole.

Houston Rockets Guard Aaron Brooks and Pee-wee Herman

Not only did Brooks recently get off on Hollywood’s less-flattering side, but he also wore a red bowtie to the post-game presser. Who’d he borrow that red coat from? Craig Sager? A circus ringmaster?

Atlanta Hawks Center Zaza Pachulia and Sloth from The Goonies

“Hey, you guys!” “Hey, K.G.!” They even have the same nose and mannerisms. Give Sloth a black toupee and some dental work and — boom! — he’s Zaza’s spitting image.

Seinfeld ’s George Costanza and Boston Celtics Forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what about a thousand pounds? These two look like a couple of hippos sunbathing. And hungry, hungry hippos at that.

Orlando Magic Guard Anthony Johnson and Hip-Hop Crooner Nate Dogg

Nate pimps his cane by choice, but Johnson is going to have to rely on one here pretty soon if he keeps on playing. Dude is practically older than Avery Johnson.

Orlando Magic Forward/Guard Mickael Pietrus and Blowfish

You know how I know you’re gay? No, not because you’re French. Because you smile like a donut. You know how I know you’re gay? Because you have the T-Mac Starter Kit tattoo.

The Cure Frontman Robert Smith and Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban

Sometimes Cuban runs around like he’s the lead singer of a rock band, but let’s keep him away from Fat Bob’s music. That and Morrissey. Already worried about him killing himself.

Actor Jim Carrey and Dallas Mavericks Head Coach Rick Carlisle

Speaking of the Mavs, they want to call the refs Liar Liar, but in the end Coach Rubberface and Co. will only be able to blame Me, Myself and Irene. Are the Mavs deader than Carrey’s box office hit streak? Yes Man!

Thanks to all those in the blogosphere and on Twitter who contributed ideas! Especially the Sports Biotch.

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind Fan Addict. Follow him on Twitter.)