“Hey kids, do drugs.”
- Former NBA center/Dennis Rodman’s white alter ego Scot Pollard
“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
- Former NBA scrub/”that other Shack” Charles Shackleford
“Play some Picasso.”
- Ex-NBA forward and backboard-shatterer Chris Morris (to a piano player, trying to be smooth on a date)
“I enjoyed the Luge.”
- Ex- Washington Wizards Chicago Bulls guard/degenerate gambler Michael Jordan (after visiting Paris)
“Sam is an idiot. I-D-O-U-T. Idiot.”
- Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O’Neal, aka the Big Spellcheck (about sportswriter Sam Smith)
(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind Fan Addict. Follow him on Twitter.)
