It was Father’s Day last weekend, so we here at FanSided.com wanted to honor one of the most legendary fathers in the history of sports — Marv Marinovich. We are proud to name him the recipient of our 2009 Father’s Day Lifetime Achievement Award.  This is a man whose accomplishments as a father trumped anything he did as an athlete, and he was captain of the USC football team before playing for the Raiders. His bio over at ProBodX , his “breakthrough-conditioning program,” says more than we ever could.

Marv Marinovich is a nationally known sports enhancement specialist, a former Oakland Raiders offensive lineman, and NFL conditioning coach. He founded his own training center, SportsLab, where he trains elite athletes, children, and young adults.

By “trains” it means recently being booted out of the private high school he trained athletes out of because the old man went apesh** on his business partner.

By working with children and young athletes it means this; they will never have a Big Mac or watch cartoons as a child. As an adult, they will not only be unsuccessful, but also universally mocked for being such an epic failure. The first 20 years will be lost to training. The second 20 will be lost to heroin because the first 20 were lost to training. And then around the ripe age of 40 the child/young athlete will have an epiphany and say, “The day is coming when I’m not gonna have to piss in a f***ing cup.” After that he/she will admit they partied away eligibility — literally in college, figuratively in the pros — to escape the pressure.

The highlights of their life: Failing three drug tests during two years in the pros even though they were cheating the entire time; blowing their knee out the first day of training camp in the semi-pros; having one brilliant season in the semi-semi-pros only to get arrested for heroin possession once it was over; post-sports they will make money scraping barnacles off boats, leading group meetings at rehab and playing for a band called Scurvy for $60 a night. They will also spend time in a minimum-security facility.

The good news is that Al Davis –  if he’s really still alive and not pulling a Weekend at Bernie’s on us — will draft the kid if he’s a football player. If the kid’s a girl or a non-football player, well, then that kid is pretty much screwed.

Actually, if things turn out really well the kid can go to Syracuse, get drunk and break into the gym equipment room even though as a NCAA D-1 athlete they have all the equipment they could ever need. But, remember, that is the absolute best-case scenario here, folks. Well, besides them becoming a marginally talented gymnast who turns out relatively normal. But who wants that? No pain, no gain, right?

To those of you who says he’s no fun, just look at how much he has loosened up with old age. Who else let’s youngsters play American Gladiators the Underwater Self Version? Whadda guy. And I hear he even let’s Marv-trained athlete B.J. Penn put maple syrup on everything.

Given the way Marvelous Marv has raised Todd and Traci, and later Mikhail, we had little choice to bestow him with this prestigious honor. All of us men should strive to be such a father. After all, how many fathers can take a son who’s hailed as the next great quarterback, and turn him into a meth-fueled, skateboarding beach bum whose nicknames are “Marijuanavich” and “Robo QB,” and looks like a cracked-out, pedophilier Ron Howard. If Senator Evan Bayh wants a living, breathing role model for his “Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act of 2009,” I suggest he give Marv a call. This guy can straight up dad.

Congratulations to Marv Marinovich, our 2009 and inaugural Father’s Day Lifetime Achievement Award winner. You’ve set the bar, sir.

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind Fan Addict. Follow him on Twitter.)