Full disclosure time. I’ve always hated link dumps. I understand the concept and that almost all bloggers have to do them, but that hasn’t stopped me from hating them. Why? Because I’ve always hated any blog post that doesn’t offer something original. Actually, I’ve always hated anything that doesn’t offer something original, something unique.

That being said, why am I caving and doing a link dump? A. Because it will help the blog and the network. B.) Because I’ve figured out a way to do it and actually make it interesting (I hope). That being said, I promise both my readers and my fellow bloggers that I will never, EVER pump out an unimaginative list of links. I’ll say eff it, no Dr. Linklove this time around before I’ll pump one of those out.

Enjoy the first ever Dr. Linklove…

Miss Scott: It’s 3 O’clock in the morning!

General “Buck” Turgidson: Weh-heh-heh-ll, the Air Force never sleeps bloggers never sleep.

10 Posts the Dr. Loved

Rajai “Um, Like, You Know” Davis Kills it in Interview

We’ve all stumbled on our words before. It happens to the best of us (it certainly does to me). Even Walter effin’ Kronkite  goofed on the mic from time to time. But this, THIS, is ridiculous. A’s outfielder Rajai Davis attempts to cut an interview for the local news. When I say attempt what I really mean is FAIL. I disagree with the Sports Bio-Tech (Who spells byotch “biotch,” by the way? Snoop is rolling over in his grave.) on this one. It’s not the channel’s fault. They obviously enjoyed this video and their audience obviously did, too. It’s the A’s fault. Somebody needs to tell that cat to stay the hell away from interviews. Period.

Transformers: Revenge of the, Um, Screenwriter

Brian Lynch is a dude I know from his Twitter, which means I don’t really know him at all. In fact, I’m not even sure he follows me or not. F*** it. Who cares. The guy makes me laugh on a regular basis and actually penned the upcoming Sims movie (I think he really did) — both amazing feats. Recently, he put together a hilarious Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen survival guide. I think I’m gonna go with No. 3 and pretend my 13-year-old sister shot this thing. Movie-going is all about expectations. I went into Terminator Salvation expecting a world class sh**bomb and came out with a smile on my face. And, no, I don’t usually smile after I’m force-fed a sh**bomb. It exceeded my expectations.

If No. 3 fails, I think I’ll move right to No. 10. and create the plot for the movie John Turturro thinks he’s in. Turturro thinks he’s starring as Hunter S. Thompson, stoned out of his mind, trapped inside the pages of a futuristic Phillip K. Dick novel about how our government has hid the existence of robotic alien lifeforms from us for almost a century. When Turturro asks why he’s been instructed to act “like a loon,” Michael Bay tells him to pretend he’s on a smorgasbord of uppers. Either that or the stuff he pumps into his P.A.s to make sure they can work 18-hour days.

More Transformers. Rather Hear About A Certain No. 4? That’s What I Thought

My Sports Rumors was a site I always liked. Until this morning, when I woke up with a head and throat full of snotty gunk and saw basically what was going to be my Transformers post on the site. Damn you for being better than me and beating me to the punch. I hate you, My Sports Rumors. Anyway, check out an awesome post that matches up MLB Stars with Transormers they resemble. Unfortunately, there is no Autobot named Exhausto, so A-Rod will have to make due with Starscream. You know what, screw Michael Bay for not having Starscream sound exactly like he did in the cartoons. Optimus Prime is voiced by the same guy. Jesus, I loved that guy’s crazy, whiny voice. I wish we could have that guy dub over every A-Rod interview, maybe change it up a little bit, make him really look like a little bitch. After all, the guy is nicknamed “Bitch Tits.” Hey, steroids don’t just “transform” you in good ways. As for my Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen post, I’m totally screwed. Probably just write it after I see it on IMAX tonight (after I punish myself — stupid), then proceed to not get linked anywhere, especially Hot Clicks. Wonderful.

I Agree — Sports Can Be Annoying as Hell

The Red Sox. Derek Jeter’s eyes. Tom Brady’s ass. Anything T.O. Definitely some of the most annoying things in sports. And I’ll add two more to the list: A.) Phillip Rivers’ dimples (the last girl I dated literally wanted to get up on that); B.) Sportsbloggers blogging about how annoyed they are by Brett Favre. I am literally annoyed by how annoyed others are by Favre. Can’t Chewbacca just rip his arm off so he can’t play any more? Fav-ruh, go beat Chewie in that weird hologram game or something, because if I read one more “I’m sick of Favre/Favre is a baby” story I am going to jail for the beating I’m going to hand both you and that blogger.

If You Can’t Thrill ‘Em on the Field, Thrill ‘Em with, Uh, Jacko?

The last time we heard about Rashard Mendenhall, he texted some smack talk about the Ravens to Ray Rice. Rice passed that smack along to teammate Ray Lewis. You know the rest of the story. Ray-Ray gets pissed, blows Mendenhall’s shoulder to smithereens, then boasts about how the Steelers’ first-round pick was “done.” Since then, Mendenhall has been out of the NFL news cycle. Yes, even when his Steelers won it all. Until today, that is. Now, he’s back, and he’s bad. He might not be tough on the football field, but he’s sure tough when he’s playing Michael Jackson’s role in Thriller around a bunch of dancing chicks and dudes. Dude is even rocking the Jackoesque wardrobe. “Jamon. Hee-hee!”

Grown-Ass Men in Tight Uniforms Acting Like Infants

What is the most rendonkulous thing in sports? Shaq’s Twitter profile. No. Ron Artest table-leg murder interviews? No. Who Sean Avery is dating screwing (more on that in a moment)? Donte Stallworth getting a glorified “timeout” for plowing over a blue-hair with his Bentley down in MIA? No. Baseball manager tirades? Yep. When basketball and football and even hockey coaches go off, yeah, I almost always believe they are caught up in the moment. But these manager tirades, its like wittle Warry didn’t get his way at the toy store or something. Grown men kicking dust on other grown men. Removing bases and flinging them into the outfield or, better yet, giving them to kids in the stands. Chucking buckets full of baseballs onto the diamond. These are the fellas I want leading a team into battle, let me tell ya. If Bobby Knight ever comes back, Sports Gods, please bring him back as a baseball manager. Don’t make me beg. I will.

If You’re Famous for Being Hot, Sean Avery Will Try to Pork You

What is up with the New York Rangers power player/clotheshorse/sex addict? You know things are bad when even David Duchovny thinks you need to slow it down. Rachel Hunter. Elisha Cuthbert. And now Sean Avery has been linked to supermodel Hilary Rhoda. Apparently, Avery and Rhoda met while covering Bonnaroo. More like Boneroo. Besides, that was Mark Sanchez’s new squeeze. The operative word there being “was.” I’ve heard of doing the Dirty Sanchez, but not doing Sanchez dirty. Apparently, Hollywood is churning out a screenplay about Avery this very moment. Scribes, save yourself some work — I already know the ending. Jets fans castrate Avery and take his penis to the draft, you know, in case they want to also throw something when they vociferously boo the Jets’ pick.

Proof They Will Sell Absolutely Anything

What if I told you that the NFL was selling a “Mounted Memories” Ryan Leaf autographed jersey? What if I told you that they were asking for $449.99? What if I told Ryan Leaf that his cut from the sale wouldn’t pay his rent? I mean, he’d probably be pissed, but he wouldn’t do anything except act all tough and yell “don’t talk to me, alright!” Don’t worry, Ryan, I see bums with creative signs by exits and bridges every single day. I’m sure you can wrangle up a Sharpie and some cardboard and write “Will INT for food.”

The Story of the Swingin’ Samurai

Sports Rubbish is right — this is the coolest thing you will see all day. Not just because the samurai splits a blazing baseball in half either. Sure, that pitch came flying out of that pitching machine. Sure, I like how he drew his sword and sliced into the ball. But what makes this video is the Japanese TV hosts and audience. Anything is 10 times as exciting as it normally would be when the audience and hosts are Japanese. I seriously think they could get both myself and everybody else fired up about me doing dishes. And I hate doing dishes (as a pile of dishes approaches “if you don’t do these tomorrow it will be disgusting” status). Can we do Thursday’s NBA Draft Japanese TV style. I can already see them screaming “Wicky Wubio” as the Spanish phenom approaches Commissioner Stern.

Best Loves Baddies

I go straight bitch for anything having to do with movies, especially good ones. Total fanboy mode. That’s why I got a serious cinema hard-on for this list of 10 memorable movie madmen. It also references Dr. Strangelove, the inspiration for Dr. Linklove, so I had no choice but to link the post. Besides, it’s a great list. The Joker. Hannibal Lecter. Tyler Durden. That’s fine and dandy, but what about William “D-Fens” Foster from Falling Down? You know why I love that guy so much? Because back when I still  poisoned myself with McDonald’s, I drove up to the drive-thru for breakfast at 10:31 AM all the time. Always one minute late! I was beginning to think their clock always read 10:31 AM. Even though I never went postal, I always wanted to. “You forgot your briefcase! You forgot your briefcase!” Michael Douglas doesn’t have to try very hard to act nuts, now does he?

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind Fan Addict. Follow him on Twitter.)