I’ve watched MMA, more specifically the UFC, for well over a decade now. I have long enjoyed the sport and knew it was here to stay way back in the day. But not every sports fan can say the same. Last Saturday, my brother and I introduced my old man to MMA with the UFC 101 card. That got me thinking, with the UFC’s staggering list of champions, maybe I should make an introductory guide using those champions to help familiarize sports fans with the sport. Maybe use a little pop culture as lube so the transition is nice and smooth. Here’s that list…

UFC Champions Guide:

Lightweight: B.J Penn

Height: 5′9″

Weight: 155 pounds

MMA Record: 14-5-1

Fights Out Of: Hilo, Hawaii

Looks Like: Bonk from Turbografx-16

Sounds Like: That skater kid from 7-Eleven

Fighting Style: Gimli son of Glóin

Weakness: Stamina

Potential Threat: Hawaiian pizza

Next Up: Probably Diego Sanchez

Welterweight: Georges St-Pierre

Height: 5′10″

Weight: 170 pounds

MMA Record: 19-2-1

Fights Out Of: Montreal, Quebec

Looks Like: Channing Tatum

Sounds Like: Pepé Le Pew

Fighting Style: Bale’s Batman

Weakness: Boxing? Chin? (nitpicking)

Potential Threat: Lucky punch

Next Up: Mike Swick vs. Martin Kampman winner

Middleweight: Anderson Silva

Height: 6′2″

Weight: 185 pounds

MMA Record: 25-4

Fights Out Of: Curitiba, Brazil

Looks Like: Mace Windu

Sounds Like: Knockout Ned from City of God

Fighting Style: Muhammad Ali meets Bruce Lee

Weakness: English

Potential Threat: Hurting himself celebrating

Next Up: Probably Dan Henderson

Light Heavyweight: Lyoto Machida

Height: 6′1″

Weight: 205 pounds

MMA Record: 15-0

Fights Out Of: Belém, Brazil

Looks Like: Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8

Sounds Like: Uh, Knockout Ned from City of God

Fighting Style: Crane Kick

Weakness: Uh, English

Potential Threat: Rampage Jackson with his sh** straight

Next Up: Mauricio “Shogun” Rua

Heavyweight: Brock Lesnar

Height: 6′3″

Weight: 265 pounds

MMA Record: 4-1

Fights Out Of: Minneapolis-Saint Paul, Minnesota

Looks Like: Biff Tannen

Sounds Like: Frances McDormand in Fargo

Fighting Style: Bebop and Rocksteady

Weakness: Lack of experience

Potential Threat: Fedor finally signing

Next Up: Shane Carwin vs. Cain Velasquez

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind Fan Addict. Follow him on Twitter.)