If Looks Could Kill: The Hotties Of Dexter

Featured, The Best View, The FanSided Sports Blog

If Looks Could Kill: The Hotties Of Dexter

Posted on 25 September 2009 by Adam Best

Dexter is a show I recently ripped through on DVD trying to catch up before the Season 4 debut this Sunday on Showtime. I’m as hooked on the show as its protagonist, Dexter Morgan, is to neatly chopping up and disposing of the bad people who fit his code. The show of course is about a serial killer who only kills killers. But even the most “killer” plot needs some scenery to spice things up along the way. That’s where the lovely ladies of Dexter come in. Since you’ll want to get caught up on the show’s hotties before Sunday hits, here’s a refresher course.

Rita Morgan (Julie Benz)

I’m not typically a big blonde guy, but even I think Julie Benz’s Rita is the hottest female character on Dexter. Look at her — she’s perfect. How she ended up with a smack-addicted, ex-con wifebeater like Paul is beyond me. Rita’s a sweetie, but she’s sexiest when she gets pissed — a rare event. Almost makes you wonder how many once-divorced MILFs with good personalities there are out there. Note to all bachelors: change your online profiles to reflect that you really, really like kids. Do it now! If you can hang in there while Miss Damaged Goods gets over her past, you might have a winning lottery ticket.

Lila West (Jaime Murray)

Yes, Rita is the hottest chick on the show, but British actress Jaime Murray’s vixen Lila was the hottest before she was killed off. She was evil as hell, batsh** crazy and attended Narcotics Anonymous regularly, yet she was still irresistible. She’s the kind of girl that both your friends and family tell you to stay the eff away from, but in the end you simply cannot refrain. You can tell a little kid not to touch the hot stove, but that kid actually has to get burned in order to learn the lesson. She’s the hot stove, with the operative word being “hot.” I wonder if Murray’s a wackjob in real life, because she was pretty damn convincing during Season 2.

Syl Prado (Valerie Cruz)

Valerie Cruz’s Syl was way, way too hot to be with Jimmy Freakin’ Smits! Dude is like eight feet tall with a ginormous melon head. He’s also two decades older than her. Step off, Santos, she’s completely out of your league. I like homeboy as an actor, but let’s get serious here. Syl was nice, successful and fun. She would have been the total package if it wasn’t for her trust issues. Chill out, Syl, Miquel’s not having an affair. He’s just out with Dexter stabbing people in a Saran-wrapped room. Cruz was equally hot as a vampire in True Blood,where her man was once again majorly lame.

Debra Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter)

First off, Jennifer Carpenter is married to Michael C. Hall (Dexter) in real life — something that happened in the past year — and now has to play his sister on the tube. Something about that just ain’t right. Otherwise, she’s the sneakiest hottie on the show. Sure, she’s tomboyish, but she’s also one of those chicks who can be “one of the guys” and still stay sexy. That kind of woman is hard to come by. You also better believe that both her feistiness and filthy mouth would make her a lot of fun, if you know what I mean. Her long legs don’t hurt her case either. Plus, I bet she’s pretty chill in real life. Detective Debra has her hunches, I’ve got mine.

Yuki Amado (Liza Lapira)

We’ve got blondes on this list. Brunettes. A redhead. A Brit. A Latina. Thanks to Liza Lapira, we now have some Asian persuasion as well. Yuki Amado is a pretty minor character on the show, but this sh**talking Filipino definitely stood out despite limited screentime. Look at her; she’s adorable and yet sexy at the same time — no small feat to pull off. I’m definitely hoping she comes back with an expanded role in Season 4, and I’ve got a feeling I’m not the only one. You also saw this looker in Cloverfield and Fast & Furious. Wait, did anybody actually go and see Fast & Furious?

Christine Hill (Courtney Ford)

This is a late addition I wanted to slip in here after the Season Four premiere. Courtney Ford is just plain hot. How else do you explain her being married to Brandon Routh — Superman, folks (or at least he was)! Anyway, according to IMDB, she appears in all 12 episodes this season. Sounds like a pretty substantial role to me. She’s initially got the hots for Quinn, but I have a feeling after seeing a Dexter-Quinn feud foreshadowed (feels like Dexter-Doakes all over again) that she’ll make a play for the show’s protagonist at some point. Definitely keep an eye on the show’s new jammin’ journalist. Speaking of eyes, look at that set. Damn, Supes, you’re lucky, dude.