With rumors circling that Rush Limbaugh and St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts are teaming up to purchase a majority stake of the St. Louis Rams, I thought we’d take a look at some changes Rush would make to the franchise.
10. The Rams will come out to Rush’s conservative talk radio theme song, The Pretenders’ “My City Was Gone.” The Pretenders will make sure PETA, Rush’s least favorite non-profit org, gets royalties every single time.
9. The team will never be allowed to run left — only right. Right, right, right. They’ll try and pound it into the opposition’s heads.
8. All players will wear a Ronald Reagan memorial patch every season, no exceptions. The team’s broadcasters will also be contractually bound to mention Reagan at least 137 times during each broadcast.
7. The pre-game patriotic singing of the “Star-Spangled Banner” will be replaced by “America the Beautiful,” except the song will be remixed into “America the Conservative.”
6. No black quarterbacks will be allowed on the Rams’ roster. That especially includes Donovan McNabb.
5. Republican Lynn Swann — probably the only black Republican in the country with legitimate NFL coaching credentials — will be made head coach. This will show the critics. Racist, schmacist.
4. Rush would offer the cross-state rival Chiefs a first-round pick to swap the teams colors — blue for red. No way a team of his is wearing blue, especially in a purple state.
3. Injured players will have a much easier time obtaining prescription pain pills.
2. Rush will sell the team within seven years, as that’s as long as any of his marriages have ever lasted.
1. Somebody other than he Rams will always be blamed by Rush for their losses, and any Super Bowl winner other than the Rams will be labeled “bad for America.”
(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided.com Sports Network and the twisted mind behind The Best View. Follow him on Twitter. E-mail him with tips at fansidedadam@gmail.com)
haha that’s really funny Adam. I couldn’t agree more!
best news i’ve heard. i like rams and would like to see rush owning the team.
I bet Rush can’t wait to get into the Ram’s locker room.
Do a Google search of Limbaugh+gay and you’ll see why.
Does nobody remember Rush Limbaugh hanging out with Charles Barkley in the 1990’s,before Barkly regained his sanity and re-denounced Republicans for being the crude racists that they are. I am glad the closeted gay one has made his offer for the Rams. It is the only reality that will hit the drugaddled rightwing extremists and maybe give the average American a look at the appalling racist sewage this man is made up of.
your top 10 is as full of crap as liberal democrats are. You people are really ignorant and filled with stupidity. Rush is a great business man who loves his country which is more than I can say about The Obamas.
Liberals really need to get a grip on life. I don’t want Big Government telling me what I can and can’t do. I don’t want Big Government taking away more and more of my liberty and freedom. I’m a minority being a black conservative male and I want all of Obama policies to FAIL.
No God in schools but children are allowed to sing praises to Obama. Have they forgotten what this country was built on? Our U.S. currency says In God We Trust not In Obama we trust. He lies constantly and I’m ashamed of all my black brothers and sisters who are ignorant to believe everything Obama say and does. Or simply don’t care because he looks like us. I’m sick to death of my people being taking for a ride by big Government. too many of us just don’t get it. we will never advance as long as you let someone else take care of you instead of striving to do better for yourself. when I heard those ladies on TV who are homeless and they were going to participate in the program to help them get a home. I was embarrassed by the words they spoke. how could they not know where the money was coming from? But as Rush said these women are model citizens in Obama utopia world.
Not funny, kinda juvenile