Ten years ago today, Fight Club was released to theaters. It still ranks as one of my favorite flicks. David Fincher, Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter all knocked it out of the fu**ing park.
To commemorate this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to take a peek inside the warped minds of today’s biggest sports schizoids. The following ten Tyler Durdens are in need of some serious therapy. Enter at your own risk, as we delve into the mouth of madness.
John Daly
He could just be a raging alcoholic redneck, but I’m pretty sure this tub of guts has a few wires crossed. Most of his crazed antics took place under the influence of Johnathan Daniel’s or J&B, like harassing a flight attendant, smacking his old lady around, dropping out of tournaments after shooting a 90, posing shirtless with topless skanks and being attacked by his wife with a steak knife. Yeah, he’s insane.
Milton Bradley
There’s probably no bigger hothead in baseball than the guy with the board game name. Bradley shredded his ACL while being restrained after arguing with a first base ump. Not to be outdone, he went after an announcer for making what he perceived as disparaging comments, then proceeded to break down in tears while apologizing to teammates. Oh, he also publicly trashed the Cubs organization and the city of Chicago. Seven teams in nine seasons leads me to believe Milton wears out his welcome fast.
Shawn Andrews
Immensely talented, but totally unreliable, the Big Kid has expressed apprehension about playing football, battled severe depression and is in the process of missing his second consecutive season due to back problems. While “rehabbing” this summer, he unveiled via YouTube a rap ditty called “Gettin’ My Michael Phelps On.” It’s difficult to explain, so watch for yourself. Needless to say, Shawn is what you might call, a free spirit of sorts.
Sean Avery
All NHL tough guys/pests are a bit off kilter. Tie Domi and Marty McSorley being prime examples. However, Avery is a special case. He plays with a “I don’t really care” attitude and relishes the role of prick. He bangs lots of hot chicks and has no problem calling out fellow NHLers who partake in his “sloppy seconds.” His constant face-screening and shoving versus Martin Brodeur in the 2008 playoffs caused the NHL to reinterpret the rules of player misconduct. Even more puzzling than his manic on-ice escapades is his interest in women’s fashion. He interned one summer at Vogue. WTF is that about?!
Chad Ochocinco
The guy legally changed his last name from Johnson to Ochocinco. What more needs to be written about this certifiable wacko? Not convinced? He raced a thoroughbred horse… on foot… and won. To be fair, he does raise a lot of cash for worthy charities, but that doesn’t change the fact that Chad is mad… as a hatter.
Stephon Marbury
Engaged in a headline-grabbing five year feud with the New York Knicks in which he allegedly threatened to blackmail then coach Isiah Thomas for removing him from the starting lineup. Got himself banned from attending all Knicks games in 2008, only to turn around and buy a courtside ticket for a game in L.A. In his most bizarre stunt, he streamed his “life” 24/7 on the internet this past summer. Highlights included eating Vaseline, weeping like a baby, getting into a car wreck, and displaying general maniacal behavior.
Terrell Owens
Geesh, where do I begin? Being a self-involved team killer who cares more about touchdown celebrations than winning doesn’t make you a psycho. The following actions make you a psycho: staging an impromptu weightlifting session in a driveway while surrounded my media, overdosing on Hyrdocodone, spitting in the face of an opponent, crying hysterically after losing a playoff game and refusing to accept blame for destroying three separate organizations. If anyone needs thirty days in the loony bin, it’s T.O.
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
If you punch guys in the face for a living, you’re probably a little unstable. If your nickname is “Rampage,” you’re probably a tad left of center. If you lead police on a real life demolition derby pursuit straight outta Grand Theft Auto and get tossed into a mental ward for observation, you’re fu**ing nuts. At least the dude is in therapy, which is more than I can say for the other kooks on this list.
Ron Artest
To say that Ron Ron is simply eccentric is a disservice to those who are eccentric. Picking fights with fans, neglecting his dog and beating his woman are merely appetizers on Artest’s menu of insanity. As a rookie, he applied for a job at Circuit City in order to get an employee discount. He once wore a bathrobe to practice. He asked for a month off from basketball because he was fatigued from promoting an R&B album. He sports wacky haircuts and is fond of the flagrant foul. He might be bonkers, but the NBA would be boring without him.
(Scott Tunstall is the Lead Blogger for Inside the Iggles and is currently wanted by Interpol. You can follow him on Twitter.)
