Now at days we like our sports served up in a microwave minute. There’s no time to let things marinate then simmer to a slow cooked boil. Give it to me in five minutes or less! I’m busy, got places to go and nude videos of Erin Andrews to see.
That is our mentality in this modern age. We want our headlines to echo the entire story. No need to delve deep into the topic. Just condense it into an easily digestible format and trim the fat.
Well, I’ve got news for you skinny America. The fat is where all the flavor is and not everything can be summed up in a catchy headline. Some things are just too complex for the douchebags at TMZ to sum up with their judgmental banter.
We think that with all the media coverage that we know these pro athletes. We assume that what’s reported is all there is to know.
WRONG!
Sometimes there is much more going on beneath the surface. Sometimes those still waters run as deep as the money pit Nicolas Cage finds himself in. Sometimes we’re unable to separate the man from his art. Sometimes we assume we know things when all we know is that when you “assume” you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”.
Here are 10 athletes you think you know from the headlines but really know nothing about at all.
10. Chad Ochocinco
He’s more known for his touchdown celebrations and flamboyant behavior than his skills. Don’t get it twisted though. You don’t go from JUCO footballer, to second round NFL draft pick, to All-Pro without having some serious game and a tireless work ethic. He’s destined to have a reality show one day, but for now OG Ochocinco is the embodiment of the modern day American dream.
9. Usain Bolt
He might look cocky and confident before the gun goes off. Once the trigger is squeezed, he’s all business. This self-proclaimed “momma’s boy” was lampooned for showboating in the Olympics only to turn around and run faster than any human in recorded history.
8. Kimbo Slice
Kimbo didn’t choose fame. Fame chose him. He has become the face of MMA’s failed crossover attempt but anybody who saw him on season 10 of TUF knows he’s a humble dude that has taken advantage of every opportunity that has fallen in his lap. Even his biggest hater (Dana White) has done a complete about face on the YouTube sensation. See him soon in the UFC, where nobody thought he’d ever be.
7. Craig Bellamy
The Welsh striker has played for some of the most storied clubs in England (Liverpool, Newcastle) and the biggest club in Scotland (Celtic). However, he’s most known for his Larry Johnson – esque encounters with women in night clubs and for slapping a fan that interrupted the Manchester Derby. Clearly he can play or else dude wouldn’t be balling for Man City. He’s also invested nearly $1 million of his own money in a soccer academy for children in the Blood Diamond capital of the world – Sierra Leone.
6. Bernard Hopkins
Maybe it is just a case of wrong place/wrong time for B-Hop. In an era when boxing is Cross Colours and MMA is Ed Hardy, Hopkins is an anomaly. At 44-years of age, Hopkins can still school young champions like Kelly Pavlik. Not flashy by any means, he’s a true fighter who almost never looks bad in the ring (Joe Calzaghe fight notwithstanding). His prison time is the headline but his dedication since is the real story.
5. Ricky Williams
Most know him as the weird dude who quit the NFL to pursue his hobby practiced everyday when the clock strikes 4:20. While Williams will never live up to the expensive wedding Mike Ditka planned, he is a true professional who is still gainfully employed in the NFL. Bottom line is that Ricky has out lasted Larry Johnson, Edgerrin James and LaDainian Tomlinson for football relevancy despite not having their fame, stats or paychecks.
4. Sean Avery
He is the most polarizing figure on ice not named Chaz Michael Michaels. Despite his numerous offenses, Avery’s worst punishment was doled out for calling a Canadian B-Movie actress his “sloppy seconds”. Truth is that for better or for worse, there is now a “Sean Avery Rule” in the NHL. Anybody who changes the game is legendary. If you ain’t cheating you ain’t trying. Right, Belichick?
3. Ron Artest
He is the Mike Tyson of the NBA. Artest will be forever known for the Malice in the Palace. However, if he wasn’t worth the risk then why would he still be in the NBA? Better yet, why would he be the biggest reason why the Lakers are favorites to repeat as NBA champions? Sometimes, the game speaks louder than the headlines.
2. Manny Ramirez
He’s not unlike most MLB players in this era. Manny is arrogant, spoiled and most likely visited the same pharmacy in the D.R. that A-Rod frequented. No matter what you think of Man-Ram, he’s a savant whose genius comes around but once in a lifetime. His resume might be tainted but his game and aloof personality are forever a part of baseball history.
1. Allen Iverson
A.I. is the biggest conundrum of modern sports. In an era where everything is LeBron James bigger, stronger, faster; Iverson is smaller, frail and fearless. His infamous “practice” quote has become the one-liner that defines the generation of ballers he inspired. Still, he has an MVP trophy on his shelf and a resume worthy of entry into Springfield. Before you jump on the criticism bandwagon, just think how Shaq would have reacted if he was signed to be Erick Dampier’s backup.
(Chris Shellcroft is the lead blogger for Just Blog Baby, occasional contributor on Lake Show Life and an all around righteous dude. You can follow him on Twitter.)
