(Irrational advice for the gambler trying to win big just to break even for the week. This week we’re offering up a Joe Six Pack of picks inspired by the rogue maverick herself.)
College Football
Arizona State (+4) vs. UCLA
By all indications, this is a classic flip the coin and let it ride bet. What’s more maverick than taking an underdog on the road that is 5-4 against the spread this season? What makes this a real roll of the dice is that the Bruins are only 5-5 against the spread, so this is a pure gamblers’ hunch.
Oh, did I mention ASU has only covered once in their last six trips to the Rose Bowl? Ignore that bad feeling welling up in your stomach, drop your holiday bonus on the Sun Devils and make your next drink a double.
Wisconsin vs. Northwestern (+7)
If you want to prove your degenerate might, then you’ll lay your car payment on the Wildcats this weekend. Forget about that other Big 10 game this weekend in Ann Arbor, Ryan Field is where the action is!
All those fancy numbers the liberal media tosses out will tell you to take the Badgers. Time to go rogue! Wisconsin hasn’t covered in 5 consecutive trips to Northwestern and in the last 10 meetings between these schools the Wildcats have covered 7 of those times. This one is a Pepto-Bismol and vodka special. Keep that flask handy.
NFL
Buffalo Bills (+9) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
This is the Palin pick of the week. Sure there are plenty of numbers to support this bet, but let’s just go with our gut. To begin with, the Bills wear red, white and blue. It’s just Un-American to root against them. Next, they have the NFL’s most rogue maverick of all, Terrell Owens.
Here’s why you should take out the cash advance on you wife’s credit card for this bet: The Bills have covered in 5 of their last 7 trips to Jacksonville and Jags have only covered twice in their last 12 games at home. Buffalo is in turmoil and your marriage will be too if this one doesn’t pay out. I’d suggest getting a hotel room for the night since the locks will be changed by the time you get home.
Tennessee Titans (+4) vs. Houston Texans
Sucker bet of the week. Tennessee has found new life with Vince Young and Bud Adams went about as rogue as an NFL owner will ever go publicly last week with that double fingered salute.
Beyond the maverick qualities the Titans display, they’ve both won and covered in 5 of their last 7 trips to Reliant Stadium. Take a swig from the flask, ignore the calls from creditors and tell the wife you’re catching up on some work at the office this weekend.
Degenerate Bet of the Week
Cleveland Browns vs. Detroit Lions (-3)
This breaks all the laws of degenerate gambling. Number one, you’re laying on a favorite. As we all know, you’re not going to hedge your losses picking favorites. Secondly, you’re betting on the Lions. Gulp!
What would Palin do?
This is the stuff that rogue, maverick, degenerate gamblers are made of. Ignore your selfish pride, walk bravely to the betting window, confidently hand over your unemployment check and in a dignified voice proclaim, “I’m American and I support Detroit City!”
Bonus Degenerate Bet of the Week
Florida Tuskers vs. California Redwoods (+7)
Do you know anything about the UFL? Do you really need to? You’re a degenerate, you need a Hail Mary and this is your fate.
(Chris Shellcroft is the lead blogger for Just Blog Baby, occasional contributor on Lake Show Life and an all around righteous dude. You can follow him on Twitter.)
