I love the NFL. I really do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t hate it sometimes. Pro football is kinda like my chick. Most of the time, she’s great. I have zero complaints. Other times, I’d like to chain a cement block to her leg and kick her in the nearest river. That’s just how the love ball bounces.

My relationship with the NFL is similar. Most Sundays I sit back and allow myself to be ensconced in pigskin goodness. Besides annoying talking heads that bring nothing to the table and a few missed calls by increasingly awful officials, my blood rarely heats up, let alone boils to a head.

That being said, there’s always room for improvement.  Just like my chick. I wish she’d pick up her damn shoes. Everywhere I look there are shoes, shoes, shoes. Do the Reebok workout sneakers and Jimmy Choo pumps have a problem with the closet? Are they too good for the closet? Does their patent leather shit not stink?

Clearly I’ve lost focus. Football… I’m here to talk about the NFL. Specifically, how to better the game I love so dearly. I’m aware every jackass with a replica jersey thinks they have a magic elixir that will cure all that ails the biggest, baddest sport on the planet. What separates my crap from all the other crap? Two words: common sense.

All my demands suggestions are more than doable. Dare I say, even logical? I’m rambling. Here are five ways to improve the NFL.

5) Make Pass Interference A 15-Yard Penalty – It really chaps my ass when a quarterback fires a forty-yard bomb toward a receiver and out pops the yellow hanky, followed by a gentleman wearing stripes declaring “defensive pass interference,” then another striped gentleman marching the ball forty yards downfield. It’s pure madness. Not to mention stupid. Every other infraction is either five, ten or fifteen yards. Hell, even offensive PI is ten yards. What dick decided defensive PI needed to be a spot foul? Methinks a quarterback. Regardless, I’ve seen too many games greatly altered or decided by this penalty. It gives the offense too big an advantage. Either make it 15 yards, or change offensive PI to a spot foul. That way when Randy Moss pushes off on a 50-yard “Go route,” the Patriots offense gets moved back fifty yards. Seems only fair.

4) Make All Plays Reviewable – I see no sane reason why every play should not be subject to review. This is a major cop-out by the league. I don’t give a hoot if the whistle blew or not. If a coach wants to challenge, let him do so. It’s not like they have unlimited challenges. I’m sick of seeing an egregious error go unchecked because it’s a “non-reviewable play.” Bullshido!

3) Allow All Touchdown Celebrations – With one small caveat: they must be less than thirty seconds long. Once the player crosses the goal line and the TD is signaled, the back judge will start his stop watch. Whether it’s a “Fun Bunch” reenactment or an offensive line square dance, just make sure it’s less than thirty seconds. For Pete’s sake, can we inject a little fun back into the sport? I bet Roger Goodell fines his kids if they do a jig while playing Madden. Lighten the f**k up, Rog. It’s supposed to be a game!

2) Eliminate Kickers and Punters – Ever sat in the end zone at a game? Right behind the goal posts? It sucks, doesn’t it? If the NFL adopts my plan, you’ll have an unobstructed view. Here’s how it works. All drives shall begin at the twenty-yard line. Not only do we not need a footie to kick the ball off, but we can also rid away with the ridiculous ritual of running down the field to cover kickoffs. If an offense wants to score, they’ll have to take it 80 yards. Basically, special teams will be no more. That includes punters. If a team wants to punt, whoever is behind center on fourth down must execute a pooch punt. I don’t care if it’s a quarterback, running back, wide receiver or defensive end. If a team chooses not to utilize all four downs to gain a first down, someone will have to kick it away, but that someone will not be a punter. You can’t tell me a head coach wouldn’t love to have two extra roster spots to fill with real players. It would be a humongous benefit to those teams beset by injuries, which is pretty much every team.

1) Say Goodbye To Sudden Death –Obviously with no kickers, overtime becomes tricky. We can’t have three or four ties every week. To alleviate the problem, college overtime rules will be adopted. Spot the ball at the 25 and watch them go. The NFL is about touchdowns. Field goals are an annoyance and a hindrance. I’ll take a scoreless battle over a 9-3 game any Sunday. I bet if you polled current and ex-players, the majority would agree (except for the kickers).

Now that wasn’t hard, was it? I’m sure a couple of these improvements will take some getting used to, but everyone bitches about change at first. After a season or two, most fans will see the light.

(Scott Tunstall is the Lead Blogger for Inside the Iggles. You can follow him on Twitter.)