Former WWF/WWE Superstar (that’s what they call them), Jake “The Snake” Roberts, sang “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” to thousands of horrified fans at the Dodgers-Braves game on Friday night.
Terrifying people is what Jake “The Snake” does. It’s his MO.
His character, back in his wrestling glory days, used to carry a giant sack to the ring with him. Inside that giant sack, was a giant python named “Damien.” ‘Cause what else would you name your snake?
Anyway, Roberts would usually use his snake to intimidate his opponents. Sometimes the poor bastard (the snake, not Roberts) would get out of the sack and slither around the ring, giving everyone at home the heebeegeebees.
Is that how you spell heebeegeebees? Is it even a word? Someone consult a dictionary.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah, so “The Snake” knows all about scaring the crap out of people.
But nothing he did while wrestling, save perhaps this promo, was as terrifying as his performance on Friday night.
Creepy, right? Kind of like serial killer meets porn star. Serial killer porn star. Interestingly enough, Jake sure is looking an awful like Ron Jeremy these days.
I won’t even comment on the Randy Savage section. Dear Lord.
All right, here it is. Jake ‘The Snake” sings Take Me Out To The Ball Game.