Yeezus, Kanye! 10 Dumbest Lines From Kanye West’s Latest Album

 

Even great rap albums – and yes, Yeezus is a great rap album – will have their share of clunky lines. I mean you can’t spin out that many rhymes and expect them to ALL be gold. Gonna be some stinkers in there someplace. Yeezus features some doozies. Still a great album though. But these lines? No.

10. I’m ‘bout to wild the f**k out/I’m going Bobby Boucher (New Slaves)

Nice up-to-date reference there Kanye. Hey he’s a busy man. He doesn’t get to see many movies.

9. Tight dress dancing close to him/Yeezus just rose again (Send It Up)

That’s a big swing-and-a-miss. Appreciate the attempt to play off Yeezus rising again but, no. Sorry. Whiff. Erection imagery? Always bad.

8. Uh, I’m a rap-lic priest (I’m In It)

Oh yeah? Do you do your mass in Rap-tin? That’s only slightly less lame than the actual line.

7. Baby girl tryna get a nut/And her girl tryna give it up/Chopped ‘em both down/Don’t judge ‘em, Joe Brown (On Sight)

Number of Kanye fans who are aware that there is a TV judge named Joe Brown: Four. Kanye watches a lot of daytime TV I guess. Cold compress, vodka OJ, Price is Right. Yeah that’s the formula.

6. I just talked to Jesus/He said, “What up Yeezus?”/I said “S**t I’m chillin’/Trying to stack these millions.” (I Am A God)

I get the bit – HE’S SO OVER-THE-TOP IT BECOMES SATIRIC OR DOES IT??? – but I feel like this is just trying way too hard. This reminds me of “Like a Prayer”-era Madonna. Also I feel Kanye is being a tad insensitive toward the plight of those who are currently struggling financially. Like, almost everyone listening to his record?

5. You see there’s leaders and there’s followers/But I’d rather be a d**k than a swallower (New Slaves)

Oh really? You’d rather? Yeah, clearly.

4. Uh, black girl sippin’ white wine/Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign (I’m In It)

Now that famous picture is ruined for me forever THANKS KANYE.

3. I am a God/So hurry up with my damn massage/In a French-ass restaurant/Hurry up with my damn croissants (I Am A God)

Kanye totally misses the point of European-style dining. It’s supposed to be more leisurely? Also if you’re a GOD shouldn’t you have a little more patience? Like possibly an infinite amount? Given that you are immortal and therefore not feeling particularly pressed for time?

2. Leave a pretty girl sad reputation/Start a Fight Club, Brad reputation (Bound 2)

We’ve all been there I think. You’re doing a run of lines ending on the same word. You need ONE MORE. AAHH can’t think of anything. So you do a Jedi mind-trick on yourself. Okay this one isn’t TOO weak. Eh what the hell? I’M ALREADY RICH WHAT DOES IT MATTER???

1. I keep it 300, like Romans/300 bitches, where’s the Trojans? (Black Skinheads)

Dons his nerd glasses. 300 WAS A MOVIE ABOUT SPARTANS WHO WERE GREEK NOT ROMAN, ALSO THE TROJANS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ROMANS EITHER (so double points deducted for historical inaccuracy plus a stupid sophomoric condom double-meaning). You dropped out of college Kanye? Oh yeah? Doesn’t show or anything…

Topics: Kanye West, Music, Yeezus

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  • rayhigh

    Kanye is a talentless douchebag.

    • Brandon Kaplan

      genius douchebag..

      • Myron B. Pitts

        I like your reply. Genuinely funny. And you’re probably closer to the truth. To say he’s talent-less is just crazy.

  • Paul Torres

    300 Roman numerals =ccc. Cool, calm, collective is what he’s getting at.

  • ererte

    that bobby bouche ref was definitely in new slaves homeboy

  • Will Holland

    lol @ this “blog”. all you can write are top 10 lists? man, that journo degree really got you far. i’m glad to have found another reason to never read sports illustrated again.

    • Patrick Allen

      Look around a bit and I think you will see a lot of post that aren’t top ten lists. That said, I think the reasons you see so many of them around the web is because people like them.

      • Will Holland

        I was a bit angry when I wrote that post, it was somewhat unfair to the author. But there is no justification for judging people creating art (as a non-artist) simply to please popular opinion and make SI.com money through clicks.

        • Patrick Allen

          Well, as an artist, I have to disagree with you. I am an actor and criticism is part of creating art. When you release an album or paint a painting, people have the right to express their opinion.

          As for this article, I know it wasn’t written to please public opinion because I work for FanSided and was in the editorial meeting when it was pitched. Out staff has actually presented a pretty fair review of Kanye’s work.

          http://fansided.com/tag/yeezus/

          This particular author has some criticism but we’ve tried to take all views on this new album and I think we’ve succeeded.

          Also, point of clarification SI is a partner of ours but FanSided is not owned by them. We are our own entity.

          Thanks for the comments and I encourage you to click around. We try to provide comprehensive looks at all things sports and entertainment.

          • Will Holland

            Agree with you completely and again perhaps I am/was being unfair. I don’t know if the author is an artist and indeed you are correct artists are subject to public scrutiny. Professional critics, however, I do not appreciate who: a) do not create themselves b) are not experts in the subject matter. Again, I don’t know what credentials the author has to judge Kanye’s work and indeed I feel this article was written with a light-hearted nature. But much pain went into the creation of his art and if that is not respected, the commentary is flawed. And as your link proves, you do provide a well-rounded appraisal of his work. That is true. All said, I have looked around and you do have some solid content, I cannot disagree with that. I apologize for my initial assumptions concerning your affiliation SI.

          • unclealfie

            Why would one need “credentials” to judge Kanye’s work? As an white man who is disgusted by the whole “gangsta” theme that Kanye peddles, I’m entitled to my own opinion that anyone who admires and/or purchases this garbage or looks up to Kanye is a gullible fool.

          • Piero Scaruffi

            “as a white man who is disgusted by the whole ‘gangsta’ theme that Kanye peddles, I’m entitled to my own opinion”
            >implying only white people can have opinions
            >implying Kanye is a “gangsta”
            >implying you aren’t just afraid of blacks
            >implying you aren’t a filthy cancerous philistine
            >old white people trying to have opinions on things they don’t even understand
            haha, what a pleb.

          • Mac Kern

            Kanye is like the anti-gangsta. He’s largely responsible for bringing rap out of the gangsta era. You don’t have to like his music, but at least make realistic criticims.

  • Brandon Kaplan

    a few of these lines are actually dope…

    • rayhigh

      They’re all written by a dope.

      • Myron B. Pitts

        You guys have a good back and forth going. This is also funny.

  • Myron B. Pitts

    I confess, I like the Bobby Boucher line. Kanye’s so emphatic about it.

  • James Mwombela Jr

    In response to your number 5, from rapgenius.com: “There are the “followers” who play by the rules and are liked by others, but they are at the mercy of the “leaders”. So while the followers are stuck sucking the metaphorical dicks of the leaders, Ye would rather get his own sucked. So essentially what Ye is saying is that he would rather have power and be disliked than to be liked and take everyone’s crap.

    Yeezy isn’t exactly good with watching his tongue, and his public image suffers for it. Playing off dick/swallowing, Ye would rather be a dick/jerk and get criticized for it than swallow his words.”

    I feel like a lot of the Kanye criticism is from people who just dont get what he’s saying

  • Murishna Naquiel

    In response to #3. I think that’s the whole point he’s purposely, adamantly, and continuously expressing that he’s impatient through out the song to show that he can’t possibly be a god because like you said a God is patient. Ye’s demanding what he want’s because he is pressed for time being that he is only mortal; besides he’s running for his life at the end of the song a God doesn’t have to run from anything. He’s expressing that he’s a God on earth which = to a leader especially when it comes to the rap game and people literally praise him for is good and hard works but he clearly says stop playing with God because he knows better. Think deeper than the surface buddy.

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