…Because Bubba Watson does not care about your bowels.
(He also tipped over $100, because Bubba Watson is a kinder and richer man than you.)
Of course, it’s a little difficult to think about Chipotle’s food without thinking about South Park skewering the tendency of the burritos to induce horrible bowel problems in its loyal customers. However, I think that criticism is an unfair and unfounded urban legend. There has been no scientific proof linking the ingestion of Chipotle burritos to painful diarrhea, only countless pieces anecdotal evidence (and that’s not the scientific method, people!).
The bigger question here, really, is why so many people were at that Chipotle at once? Is it really that popular? Why do that many people have death-wishes for their stomachs? These are the questions that need answering.