SEC teams compared to famous bands, musicians

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Dec 3, 2011; Atlanta, GA, USA; A general view of the SEC logo at mid-field after the 2011 SEC championship game between the LSU Tigers and Georgia Bulldogs at the Georgia Dome. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

You don’t have to like it, but you’d have to be a head-in-the-sand ostrich to deny that the SEC is the clear cut heavyweight division in college football. Seven straight national titles will do that. We all know why: Population booms in the south, an influx of influential coaches, a league where the best athletes aren’t afraid to play defense, fast and loose recruiting rule books, and of course, because of the top-to-bottom drama. Every school has an interesting story that intersects with its larger scale rivals and this chains the conference together in one bible belt cluster of humanity. When Wisconsin plays in the Rose Bowl every damn year, Michigan fans aren’t in bars chanting “Big 10! Big 10! Big 10!”

They’re too busy getting stomped by a second tier SEC school in the Capital One Bowl.

To explain the Bono-esque, we-are-all-one feelings that the SEC has about its collective solidarity, let’s draw parallels. It’s been a popular explanatory topic this preseason but we’ve missed the best one: SEC schools as bands. Some are pop legends, some are annoying newcomers, some are washed out icons that peaked in the ’90s, and some love to twerk.

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Tags: Alabama Crimson Tide Arkansas Razorbacks Auburn Tigers Florida Gators Football Georgia Bulldogs Kentucky Wildcats LSU Tigers Mississippi State Bulldogs Missouri Tigers Ole Miss Rebels Sec Football South Carolina Gamecocks Tennessee Volunteers Texas A&M Aggies Vanderbilt Commodores

  • diverdown48

    Anyone who abhors Jimmy Buffet is an traitor, communist, scum sucking bottom dweller, and red neck. Born in Atlanta tells the story. If you ever come to Orlando let me know so I can arrange a good ol’ Parrot Head tar and feather party.

    • Mike Hunt

      Jimmy Buffet is terrible. Math isn’t the only thing that suks Jimmy.

      • marley

        This thudcrumper is an idiot. He obviously NOT funny and his comparisons don’t even make sense to a true football fan. He looks like the nerd that never gets a date .

        • Harvey Updyke

          He gives us bammers a bad name. He is queer.

    • Johnesmith77

      Don’t let that fool ya.. the rest of Georgia likes Jimmy

  • Ilikebicycle

    Quit trying to be funny. You aren’t, Chris.

    • Mike Hunt

      Someone’s a Creed fan!

  • Scooter Magruder

    I’m ok with Justin Timberlake..GATOR NATION!

  • Harvey Updyke

    What a giant waste of time. I am dumber for reading that. You are unfunny, ugly, and undoubtedly gay.

    • Michael Castillo

      And you are sitting behind a computer, hiding behind your words instead of putting your name or face out there and trying to make something for yourself.

      • Harvey Updyke

        Okay, Mike. You got me. I’ll put myself out there and start writing unfunny, biased, bullshit articles for a terrible website. I’ll make sure that they glorify the team I pull for, while making fun of every other team and giving a “middle finger” to my team’s biggest rivals. That will surely increase my readership and popularity. I’ll hang on to the successes of a team which represents a school that I never attended, because my life is so miserable that I have never experienced anything personally good in my life that was from my own efforts. I’ll hang on to the exploits of young American-American athletes that are nothing like me, and that I am afraid of in real life. I’ll live vicariously through them and if they are successful when I pull for them, then surely it makes me better. Why, it even makes me better than other people, doesn’t it? Please tell me it does. Please.

        • Harvey Updyke

          Oh, yeah. Could you help me design a cool graphic logo to display by my name? Maybe even one that incorporates H and U? I’m not quite ready to show my face either. Even a cool logo like Washington State’s cougar would be nice. Or a picture of Lane Kiffin’s wife. She looks hot.

  • Lee

    “However, both are back at the forefront of relevance now, and are back at the top of their games.”

    Have you watched a Gator game in the last 3 seasons? We’re disgustingly horrible with no sign of getting better.


    this is just dumb..

  • Robert ‘Elvis’ McClain

    Laugh it up…I see the 90′s still sting a bit. We’ll be back to kicking that ass before you know it.


  • AUmechanic29

    Auburn as Ashlee Simspson WTH. I mean that’s just cold. And cheating allegations , look in the mirror bc every sec school does it. This guy must be a Banner fan bc all they do is hate on Auburn. Just remember we have 3 heisman and 2 NCT and more to come. Alabama has 2 b2b NCT and their gb can’t even get a heisman nod with all the meidiocre playing. He’s winning but that’s bout it.

    • TiderMike

      Winning IS IT you Dip!

    • jayw

      winning is all that matters you moron

  • carolineadairm

    Dumbest article I’ve seen in a while….so congrats on that and maybe stop writing all together? Thanks

  • Bamalum78

    Is this supposed to be funny? Swing and a big, big miss.

  • Les_Grossman

    Hey Chris, better start letting your Mom or boyfriend dress you. Since you aren’t that funny and don’t write well, you need something that people can’t make fun of easily just by looking at you. If you could start doing that tomorrow, that’d be great. Thanks.

  • Hogfan

    I love that Arkansas is compared to someone as awesome as Def Leppard! That’s pure complimentary in my book. The “Special Olympics” reference? Come on, poor taste man. But don’t worry we’ll be back to rock your world soon Georgia native. You better believe! #bleedred #WPS

  • godinstereo

    Hate to disagree, but bama is more like phish. Most of their fans don’t have jobs and no one else seems to get why people like them.

  • ZachA

    This is what happens when you let hipsters write about college football.

  • Stupid

    As an ole miss fan, I’d have to say beating 5 top 10 teams in the last 5 seasons and 3 bowl wins (2 cotton bowls) is somewhat of a “victory”… As a football fan, I’d say this is stupid. As a general fan of journalism, I’d say you are trying way to hard to be funny.

  • ChrisMarlerSucks

    This dude doesn’t know good music or football

  • Dank New Rand

    SEC teams as famous youtube vids: