Every year you tell yourself you’ll try it, and every year you chicken out.
The main ingredient is chalk, even if it isn’t listed in the ingredients.
You always take a handful of candy corn when you’re at your friend’s Halloween party, thinking maybe this year you’ll have acquired a taste for it, but candy corn will always taste like what it is: a tiny rubber caution cone.
You couldn’t even trade this sh*t for a single Jolly Rancher when you were a kid.
You can feel your teeth micro-cracking as you chew, and it’s so, so worth it.
Tied for #6 because it’s either your favorite part of Halloween candying, or the bane of your f*cking existence.
You could get a whole pack of Jolly Ranchers for one Butterfinger Mini.
Nothing says Halloween like delicious, gelatinous high fructose corn syrup.
Nothing says “classic” like a good glass of neat bourbon, a jazz record, and a Hershey’s mini.
There was that one neighbor who always gave them out, and that neighbor will always be a damn hero.
Love it or hate it, you love it.