Archer and Pam in Season 5, Episode 5 of "Archer" entitled "Southbound and Down." Photo Credit: FX

Archer Season 5, Episode 5 Recap ‘Archer Vice: Southbound and Down’

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So, this week Malory is going to buy a bus and the entire gang is going on a road trip. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this, right? Let’s find out as we take a look at this week’s all-new episode of the hit FX Original Animated Series, Archer.

Good news for Ray. We start out this week when we learn the Dr. Krieger has finally fixed Ray’s little issue with his legs. After Ray gives Krieger a little bit of attitude, Krieger pushes two buttons and Ray’s legs go out from under him again. After Ray thanks him for the “precious gift of legs” Krieger allows him to stand once again.

Now, Ray is off to “remove his underwear with a blow torch.” I have a feeling this is only going to get more and more interesting between Ray and Krieger.

We find out a little later that Malory has booked Cherlene, Cheryl for those of you who missed last week’s episode, on a show called Travis County Limits. According to Malory, it’s comparable to Austin City Limits, but not really. Cherlene agrees to do the show; however, she refuses to fly. This is going to make things just a little complicated as they now have 24 hours to get to the show.

So, of course, Archer comes up with the most incredible idea; a Smokey and the Bandit kind of idea. He says they should buy a bus and a blocker car and just drive there. Of course, we all know who is going to drive the blocker car.

When the bus arrives, it is all decked out with Cherlene’s picture on the side of it. To make matters more interesting, she is in an incredibly provocative pose. Everyone, except for Archer, is lost for words.

The first thing Malory wants to know is how much it cost. Archer tells her that you can’t put a price on free advertising. Unfortunately, it’s not free when you bought the bus.

After Malory goes on this incredible rant about the use of public funds for stations like PBS, the blocker car finally arrives. Archer tells everyone that Pam is driving the bus. He then asks Malory to get on the bus, and tells Lana that she is driving with him. Nice try, Archer.

Needless to say, Lana ends up in the bus with Cherlene, Malory, and Cyril, and Pam drives with Archer.

Pam, who is still eating what look like cocaine cupcakes, starts out the night with a fart prank. Archer poses a good point, how is she possibly single. I sincerely hope you sense the sarcasm in that sentence.

Malory and Lana’s fighting is starting to irritate Cyril. He then complains about having to drive for 24 hours. Lana tells him that Krieger needed Ray for some sort of project. When the scene flips back, you see Ray marching along as Krieger is in his underwear on the table controlling him. See, I told you this was going to get interesting.

Unfortunately, Cyril doesn’t know how to use the radio, as he is holding down the button when Malory was speaking ill of Sterling.

Pam tries to jab at him; however, Archer seems unaffected. He tells her he would be hurt if he wasn’t sitting on 100 pounds of cocaine. Tell me one time this season that has worked out for him?

So…after being drugged pretty good, Archer and Pam are in Texas with the remainder of the gang in tow in the bus. Apparently, they made a lot of stops at Truck Stops, and Pam has made quite a few friends. Unfortunately, we all know how blabby Pam can be. It would appear that she told a few of her “friends” about the cocaine, and they are now trying to hijack the bus.

Of course, Cherlene thinks they are there to kidnap her. Some things never change.

Thanks to Lana kicking Cyril out of the driver’s seat, they were able to fend off the bikers who were trying to jack them. Unfortunately, they didn’t take into consideration that Archer and Pam were stopped in the middle of the street arguing. After a huge collision and a lot of spinning, everything seemed to be ok. Well, other than Archer being incredibly mad at Pam.

Now, Pam and Archer are stuck fixing the bus, which he does pretty quickly.

Needless to say, they had yet another complication on the way. This time, it is the police that are chasing them. However, something is amiss. The police are not even from the same county that they are in. Something about this screams crooked cop.

Also, for a moment, one you will probably never see again, Archer was actually nice to Pam. When she tells him that she continues to do the cocaine because she wants to maintain the way she looks, he tells her that they all liked her the way she was, and that she has turned into a giant a-hole.

Archer decides that their only option is to throw the coke out of the car. So, Pam shoves it out of the trunk, and the police car slams into it.

Cherlene made it to her show; however, she ditches the show after just one song. She claims it is part of her mystique and that she represents “Outlaw Country.” Then, by some miracle of music, Cherlene is offered a record deal. Things looked like they were on the up and up.

That is, until Pam told Malory about all the coke they lost. I’m sure we’ll hear more about that later.

The next all-new episode of Archer is going to be a doozy. Archer gets the bright idea to give Lana the most epic baby shower gift ever. He is going to get Kenny Loggins to sing at her baby shower. Somehow, I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well for Archer.

Archer airs on Monday nights at 10:00 p.m. on FX.

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