Justin Verlander and Kate Upton went to the Canadiens-Bruins game Wednesday night, but Verlander had a difficult time keeping his eyes on the puck. And it wasn’t just because the puck is small and hard to follow. He was distracted by…other things.
— Mike Kakuk (@mikekakuk) May 15, 2014
Justin Verlander thought bubble: “Hey guys, how you doing? I’ll be seeing you later tonight. As soon as we get out of this dumb hockey game. How many periods are there again? Maybe we can duck out early.”
Kate Upton thought bubble: “I know there’s a camera around here somewhere.”
All right, enough about Kate Upton and her shameless harlotry, let’s address the elephant in the room:
Verlander is going bald faster than Prince William. Look at that thing. Wear a hat Justin! Get some of that spray-on hair stuff.
Verlander better hope Kate Upton is into baldies, because he’s headed straight for George Costanza territory. He is going to be a member of the Bald Brotherhood soon. And there’s nothing he can do about it.