Los Angeles Galaxy vs. FC Dallas: 10 Bold Predictions

Aug 11, 2013; Frisco, TX, USA; A view of the game ball during the match between FC Dallas and the Los Angeles Galaxy at FC Dallas Stadium. The match ended in a 3-3 draw. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

The weekend of May 17, 2014 was one of those weekends where the Los Angeles Galaxy phoned in their efforts. Guess what? The MLS Multiplex—long known for its reputation of being unforgiving to teams whose forms are comparable to the brains of goldfishes, as Will Johnson succinctly put it—swims on with a call for more of those non-formal phone calls, white courtesy style, from Bruce Arena and his minions.

Their midweek opponent: Oscar Pareja’s FC Dallas, who are coming off a 1-1 draw with Chivas USA at Toyota Stadium in Frisco, Tex. Third place in the west…vs. last place. You pretty much know how the Plex will call this one, but we’ll lay it out for you anyway.

Kickoff at StubHub Center in Carson, Calif. on Wednesday, May 21 is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. PT/9:30 p.m. CT/10:30 p.m. ET and will be televised by MLS LIVE. By the way, here’s Bold Prediction No. 0: all of the players mentioned in this piece will play. Ha! Can’t miss here…right? And with that out of the way, here are the other 10 Bold Predictions for the match between the Los Angeles Galaxy and FC Dallas.

1. Robbie Keane will not score

Robbie Keane will not score in this contest. The effervescent Irishman has hit a cold spell, it seems, and when you hit a cold spell, it’s tough to get out of it.

2. Je-Vaughn Watson will score

Je-Vaughn Watson will score in this contest for FC Dallas. Watson should have been on the scoresheet against Chivas USA but was unfortunate not to give Dallas an important victory.

3. Jair Benitez will score

Jair Benitez has two assists this season, but this will be a game where he gets in on goal and adds a necessary dimension to his game. The MLS Multiplex calls for a goal and an assist from Benitez.

4. Here comes Michel

This season, Michel has five goals and two assists this season. A goalscoring catalyst, the Brazilian will keep the ball rolling and earn a goal and an assist on Wednesday night against the Galaxy.

5. The Galaxy will not play in a diamond formation

If the Galaxy are to stand any chance of winning this game, they must play a formation that brings out the best in what resources they have. The diamond formation is not the answer, and I expect Arena to come up with something significantly different. If Arena resorts to the diamond on Wednesday, blame it on the white courtesy phone.

6. Under four saves for Jaime Penedo

Jaime Penedo will not have the type of goalkeeping gaffe that made him a basket case against Houston at the hour mark last Saturday. The MLS Multiplex calls for under four saves and no J-League debauchery from Penedo. Know which country’s league you’re playing in, Jaime. It’s not Japan!

7. At least five saves from Raul Fernandez

Raul Fernandez is back, folks. Wake up the women and children if they’re still sleeping. At least five saves from Fernandez against Los Angeles on Wednesday. That’s the prediction from the Plex.

8. No goals or assists from Stefan Ishizaki

Stefan Ishizaki is not going to have a good game on Wednesday against Los Angeles. There will be no goals and no assists. Poor form is contagious like chickenpox, and Ishizaki knows this far too well, because he’s lived through it.

9. At least 35 fouls and five cards

Chippy game? You betcha. And watch for the referee to call a tight match as a result. At least 35 fouls will be whistled and at least five cards will be issued.

10. Dallas takes LA to the hoosegow

The form of the Los Angeles Galaxy is so poor, Sacramento Republic would stand more than a puncher’s chance. FC Dallas is going to prove this argument by given the Galaxy a lesson in finishing. And passing. And defending. The Los Angeles Galaxy are guilty of recidivism in terms of doing the basic fundamentals the right way, along with one count of phoning another important match in, and are hereby sentenced to a bold prediction of a shutout defeat at the hands of Dallas.

FC Dallas 3, Los Angeles Galaxy 0