Commissioner Adam Silver approaches the microphone…
“Before I announce the first pick in the 2014 NBA Draft, I regret to have to inform you that current Cleveland Cavaliers general manager Sean Highkin has been removed from his duties as front office executive for the Cavaliers.
We are not prepared to divulge at this time the full extent of his transgressions, but suffice to say that enough controlled substances were involved as to make Mr. Highkin attempt to draft Doug McDermott with the first overall pick.
With that being the case, the NBA’s stance on the issue should become readily apparent.
With my powers as commissioner, I hereby appoint Eric Maroun as acting CEO of the Cavaliers.
Oh, and Byron Mullens and Dwight Buycks were traded for another, for some reason or another.
Anyway, as I was about to say…”