A bear was sighted Saturday night at Petco Park in San Diego, but it wasn’t really a bear, it was just a guy dressed up as a bear.
Could you imagine if a real bear got into Petco Park? People would not be reacting like they did to the guy in the bear costume. They would be dropping their nachos and running away. Except there would be one drunk idiot fan who would try to fight the bear. You know it. He’d be like, “Screw you, I paid ten dollars for those nachos, I’m not giving them up to any bear. If you want those nachos you’re going to have to fight me for them.”
And then the bear would maul the man to death. Because you don’t mess with bears. Ever.
Guys in bear costumes, different story. Mess with them all you want. Kick them. Throw beer on them. Taunt them with honey. What’s the guy in the bear costume going to do? Pretend to be a bear? He’s in a costume, obviously he’s not tough. You can beat him up, no problem. You don’t really even have to beat him up, just stand there while he falls all over himself. You can’t really walk or see where you’re going in those bear costumes. They’re designed for comedic effect, not peripheral vision or freedom of movement.
Tags: San Diego Padres