Studly baseball players love showing their frustration by snapping their bats, but for that particular manly display to come off, the bat obviously has to cooperate. Bryce Harper found out Sunday that sometimes the bat doesn’t want to break.
Harper struck out swinging against the Cubs and attempted to take it out on his lumber, but the lumber was just a little too limber. Harper got so mad at the bat that he squatted and tried to snap it across his upper-thighs, putting his man region in danger.
Lesson: Don’t try to break a bat in anger unless you’re angry enough to snap the bat on the first try. If you lack the anger-strength to snap the bat, then you’re not really angry.
Bryce Harper trying to force himself into bat-breaking Hulk mode and failing miserably is kind of pathetic. Next time Bryce will be smarter and take the bat down the tunnel before trying to break it. At least in the tunnel, if the bat doesn’t break, you can smash it to hell against the wall or something.
And we don’t have to watch you getting owned by a piece of wood.