Roger Federer and Lindsey Vonn recently played a tennis match on a court erected atop an Alpine glacier. Why? Because rich people can do whatever they want.
If you’re thinking a tennis match between Federer and Vonn would be a little lopsided and unfair…well, you’re right. To even things out, Vonn was allowed to flank herself with a pair of kids with tennis rackets. And Federer was required to stay inside a small semi-circle sprayed onto the court with some of that soccer shaving cream.
And that’s pretty much it. Mostly it’s just the idea of a tennis court on top of a glacier. It’s like something a Bond villain would have. He’s showing Bond around his Alpine glacier Bond villain lair and he’s like, “Would you care for a game of tennis Bond?” and Bond plays him in tennis and the Bond villain cheats but Bond beats him anyway.
And then there’s a cheesy ski chase that goes on for like a half hour. This is Lazenby-era Bond. None of your Daniel Craig gritty-and-realistic Bond. Bond has feelings now! Screw that. Cleavage and chases that last half the movie. And drinking and no feelings.