Police sketch of peacock murderer resembles Mike Ditka (Photo)

Police are on the look out for a man who killed a peacock in Rolling Hills Estates, California. The sketch of the suspect…looks suspiciously like Mike Ditka if Mike Ditka shaved his mustache.

More from NFL

• NFL rumors: Dalvin Cook suitor maintaining very ‘real’ interest
• Packers training camp news: Jordan Love struggles, Bakhtiari schedule, position switch
• 3 Cowboys who won’t be on the roster after training camp
• Packers: Aaron Rodgers reached out to Jordan Love this offseason
• Damar Hamlin is a ‘full go’ at Bills training camp

We know it’s not Mike Ditka because Mike Ditka would never shave his mustache. Still, the resemblance is eerie. So eerie that…

No, I won’t even entertain the possibility. No way did Mike Ditka shave his mustache, go to Rolling Hills Estates and kill a peacock.

Unless…

The only way I could see it is if Mike Ditka were caught in some bizarre scenario like The Game with Michael Douglas. But no, no way that would happen to Ditka. Could you imagine if someone attempted that sort of mind f–k on Ditka? He’d just sit there chomping gum.

“You want me to what? Shave off my mustache and murder a peacock? Are you f–ked in the head? Where are you, I want to karate chop you in the Adam’s apple you piece of s–t.”

I wouldn’t want to be the guy who tried to game Mike Ditka like in a David Fincher movie. That would not end well.

I hope the cops in California find the guy who murdered the peacock. Who isn’t Mike Ditka.

Like FanSided on Facebook.
Follow Dan Zinski on Twitter
Subscribe to the Fansided Daily Newsletter. Sports news all up in your inbox.