Happy Jack White throws out first pitch at Tigers game (Video)

Jul 29, 2014; Detroit, MI, USA; American musician Jack White throws out the ceremonial first pitch before the game between the Detroit Tigers and the Chicago White Sox at Comerica Park. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 29, 2014; Detroit, MI, USA; American musician Jack White throws out the ceremonial first pitch before the game between the Detroit Tigers and the Chicago White Sox at Comerica Park. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports /
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Jack White has been spending seemingly his entire summer at baseball games yet somehow he remains pale as death. Does the man have no pigment in his skin? Is he some kind of freakish mole rat person? Is he so awesome the sun doesn’t dare darken him?

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Though White has been pictured at multiple games in recent weeks, including that one Cubs game that kicked off the whole Miserable Jack White meme, he had yet to throw out a first pitch. He was saving that one for his home town of Detroit.

By a major coincidence, Santa Claus happened to be in town. Santa squatted behind the plate for Jack’s first pitch. And then they went out to Jack’s favorite bar and got totally blasted. Santa can sure tie one on when he wants.

And can we now dispense with the Miserable Jack White nonsense? How happy does Jack have to be before you people will stop labeling him miserable? That is one joyous rocking elf right there. Just because a man has the complexion of a vampire, doesn’t mean he has the demeanor of one.

BTW, has anyone seen Meg lately?

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