Matt Shoemaker’s wife calls Will Middlebrooks a butthole for breaking up no-hitter

Angels pitcher Matt Shoemaker was twirling a no-hitter in the seventh inning Thursday night against the Red Sox when his dreams of immortality were shattered by Boston’s Will Middlebrooks, who broke up the no-no with a double to left field.

Matt Shoemaker’s wife Danielle was watching, as any good baseball wife would be, and she had a Twitter response for Middlebrooks and his no-no-ruining two-bagger.

Twitter being Twitter, Danielle Shoemaker’s tongue-in-cheek shot at Middlebrooks was met with a barrage of anger by humorless Red Sox fans and other random people with nothing better to do than express outrage at quipping baseball WAGs over social media.

Danielle was forced to retract and delete the harmless, funny tweet with this response for the haters, trolls and assorted idiots:

Twitter for a lot of people is a fun way of sharing humorous observations, bon mots and odd bits of tomfoolery, but for people who utterly lack humor, wit or irony, Twitter is nothing more than an opportunity to get inordinately pissed off at stuff normal humans don’t even blink at.

Why can’t these half-witted, chump-faced, literal-minded, tone-deaf scolds find something worthwhile to do with their time? Like play with electricity while standing in water?

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