Hardware store urges its employees to read Fifty Shades of Grey
By Dan Selcke
British hardware store B&Q expects an increase in demand for rope and duct tape following the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie
The film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey opens in a few days, and certain enterprising businesses are already preparing for the resultant awakening in sexual freedom.
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Specifically, British hardware store B&Q disseminated a memo to its 20,000 employees warning them to expect an uptick in demand for sales for “rope, cable ties and masking or duck tape,” according to The Independent. The memo was inspired by a scene from the Fifty Shades of Grey movie in which powerful businessman Christian Grey takes impressionable graduate Anastasia Steele to a hardware store where they buy ropes, ties, and other do-it-yourself sex toys.
Presumably, B&Q will shortly be receiving a lot of giggly, bedroom-eyed customers acting out this scene.
The memo advises staff to be prepared to handle “potentially sensitive customer enquiries,” and not to let stock of the hot-button items run too low. “How sturdy is this tape,” a customer might ask, turning the roll sensuously in their fingers and batting their eyes in a way that lets the employee helping them know they’re talking about more than just home repair.
Before the memo, that employee may have been flustered, but with preparation, he or she will be able to confidently reply, “Sturdy enough to bind your wrists while your partner melts wax onto your torso using one of our affordable lighters,” thereby answering the secret question hidden in the customer’s eyes.
The memo also encourages employees to read the Fifty Shades of Grey novel and to see the movie.
B&Q even plans to deliver copies of the book to stores and to lend them out to employees for a week at a time, all but guaranteeing a series of chilly, awkward silences around the water cooler and possibly an office romance or two.
While the memo was only supposed to be read by B&Q’s 20,000 employees, nothing this weird could stay hidden for long, and The Independent even speculated that it was a publicity stunt timed to coincide with the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey film.
Stunt or not, a spokesman for B&Q confirmed that the memo did exist, and offered this statement: “B&Q remains committed to serving our customers in all their DIY needs and we strive to prepare our staff for any enquiry. Customer satisfaction is always our number one priority.” And how.
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