College Football Week 2: Binge-watching guide
Jesus, take the wheel route! It’s that time of the week to figure out just how you are going to get through a full Saturday of college football.
If you’re a pessimist, you might tell yourself that this is the worst week of college football this season and might choose to do something else with your time. If you’re a true savage and want to watch the small schools wage war against the elite schools of the nation, this is your time to stand tall and fight. Well, not really. This is your time to hope that one or two of these small schools can pull off the upset and create chaos.
It’s that week of the season where the top schools in the nation schedule the local youth choir and beat them like a drum to add a win to their resume. However, it’s time for these noble youth choirs of the world like Lamar to stand tall to the powers that look down upon them. It’s time for you to go to work on Monday, and demand a raise. Well, maybe don’t do that because then you won’t be able to afford cable next week when the schedule is much better and when I’m not wasting my breath to prop you up to watch a bunch of terrible games.
Friday Night
What’s this? This isn’t a Saturday game. Yep, well when you have one decent game on the schedule and it’s playing on a racetrack, you have to dip into another night of the week as well. Quarterback Lamar Jackson and the Louisville Cardinals looked very impressive in their first game against Charlotte and they want to move their way into the top-10. They’ll hit the road against Syracuse, a team looking to pull off the upset. This is one of the better games on tap for the weekend.
Saturday 12:00 p.m. – 12:30 p.m. ET
This is where things are going to get interesting. Five top-10 teams are playing in this slot and this is where the best chance of an upset will take place if history is any indication. The Michigan Wolverines host UCF, Houston takes on Lamar, Georgia has Nicholls, Florida State has Charleston Southern and Clemson hosts Troy. On paper, all of those teams should roll at home, but if just one of them can become interesting then it’s really going to be the best block of the day to watch football.
3:30 p.m. ET
If none of those small schools are able to knock off a top-10 team in the first block, the upset watch is on at 3:30. The Ohio State Buckeyes, Alabama Crimson Tide and Wisconsin Badgers all have games now. Provided you haven’t given up to go get shelf paper at The Home Depot, you might have another shot of witnessing an upset here.
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That’s not gonna happen so watch the quarterback play from J.T. Barrett, Jalen Hurts, and Bart Houston. Barrett is a Heisman contender and the true freshman Hurts had four touchdowns off the bench. Houston only led Wisconsin to a win over No. 5 LSU at Lambeau Field last week.
7:30 p.m. ET
The souls of the damned are coming to claim what is rightfully theirs. The bell tolls for Les Miles and the LSU Tigers this Saturday night. For their penance is coming after last week’s meltdown in Lambeau. Behold the sovereign soldiers that carry the crest of Jacksonville State. A team that has put a scare into those who choose to overlook the bewildered. Miles and the Tigers have the reaper waiting to take them to their final resting place. The shadow of what cannot be seen is waiting to put these Tigers to rest once and for all. Can Leonard Fournette keep LSU alive to see one more week above ground?
8:00 p.m. ET
The best game of the week will take place between Tennessee and Virginia Tech. The game will be played at Bristol Motor Speedway, which houses 150,000 fans. There’s going to be an insane amount of people on hand to see whether Tennessee can play better than they did against Appalachian State. Joshua Dobbs better get moving like Tony Stewart in turn three, otherwise Tennessee might get caught by a better team.
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11:59 p.m. ET
After all the recap shows are done and everyone is making their judgments about the second week of the season, it’s surf’s up, dude. What’s a little midnight football without Hawaii playing host to Tennessee-Martin? I mean you’d really have to be a college football junkie to stay up for this one, but no one is judging in this circle of trust.