Dion Waiters took us to Waiters Island, and it’s beautiful

Waiters Island has been a mysterious place for, like, at least four years.  There were believers who, even if they had never actually seen the place, deep down knew Waiters Island existed. They just didn’t know how to get there.

Well, on Monday, in the Miami Heat’s win over the Golden State Warriors, Dion Waiters transported us there. Yes, to that there. To Waiters Island.

Waiters Island is beautiful. There are millions–no, billions–of tall trees, with hella thick canopies. And the loyal residents have fantastic beach-side homes with sprawling decks and tiki bars with endless piña coladas with sprinkles even. I guess you could say Waiters Island is the greatest place in the universe.

But back to the game. No, no, just for a sec. We’ll go back, I promise.

That was the last three of Waiters’ 33 points in the game. And you know what the best part of those three points are? The Heat didn’t even need three points! The game was tied! Waiters had been getting to the rim at will all night! Waiters wanted three points. He didn’t want to beat the Warriors by just a measly two points. He wanted to beat them by three points. With a 3-pointer, the very tool the Warriors have used to decimate the league for the last two-and-half seasons. Waiters turned the shot back on them.

He brought the ball up court, slightly more casually than you might expect with 11 seconds left, then looked Klay Thompson dead in the eye. After the game, they asked Thompson what he was thinking when Waiters stared him down. “Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya, right into your eyes. Y’know, the thing about a shark, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.”

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And so, at the buzzer, we were transported to Waiters Island. I don’t know about you, but I never want to leave.