Housekeeping: What’s up at SideLion Report

I wanted to touch base, let everyone know what’s been going on, as I’ve been posting irregularly here at SLR. I’m sure you’re asking, “Big Al, why so quiet when it comes to the Lions?”

1. There’s very little in the way of Lions news right now. By very little, I mean absolutely none. Seriously, there’s not a thing to report, or comment upon. If there is a dead time in the 365/24/7 NFL, we’re in it.

2. Ian, a very good friend, put his trust in me to run his popular Detroit Tigers blog, Bless You Boys, while he’s out of the country.  Ian’s done a great job at building readership, and I don’t want to screw up his hard work. As you might guess, it being in the middle of baseball season, ByB takes a fair bit of my attention in writing posts, and participating in game threads. I’ll be helping out there through this weekend.

3. The Red Wings and Pistons are in the middle of epic playoff runs, and hey, I am a big fan of both teams! (As I write this, both are losing in their respective games, DAMMIT!) I’m watching both series closely, and commenting upon them often at TWFE. In other words, 3 of Detroit’s pro teams are going gangbusters news wise, while the Lions are essentially dark.

4. I’m rolling around some ideas as to how I want to write about the Lions as we get closer to camp.

So there will be activity as SLR, as the Lions warrant coverage.  Right now, they don’t warrant much, save for when they insult their fans or do something else insanely stupid. Give it time, it’s not a matter of if the Lions will do something idiotic, it’s only a matter of when…

Lions tales: Sims has surgery, throwbacks are back, Stanton can’t hit the broad side of a barn

With mini-camp underway, we are finally getting a trickle of news from the Lions. and it’s not of the “email telling fans to fuck off” sort.

More //sarcasm on// good news //sarcasm off// on the player personnel front. Ernie Sims, one of the few players on the Lions considered to be Pro Bowl material, had to undergo shoulder surgery. No one’s talking as to when, or how, Sims was hurt.

Sims is reluctant to discuss the injury to his right shoulder, or even when it occurred last season.

“To be honest, I don’t know exactly what game it was,” Sims said Wednesday. “It was something I was playing with. It’s something I had to play with. It was probably about half the season.”

One little throwaway line concerns me…

“I don’t want to push it,” Sims said. “I believe I’ll be ready for camp.”

“Believe I’ll be ready?” Considering camp is approximately 2 months away, I would hope so. If Sims isn’t ready, the Lions have MAJOR issues at a position at which they are already extremely thin.

Finally, we have some GOOD news. Remember the Lions’ kick ass throwback unis? The solid Honolulu bluejerseys with solid silver pants and helmets from their 1950’s glory days? The really cool unis the Lions replaced with their horrific, arena football-like, porn ’stached goon approved, black jerseys? They’re coming back!

Now this is a classy uni. Screw Millen’s Raiders inspired black alternates…

The Lions will wear their old throwback uniforms for two games this season as part of their 75th anniversary celebration.

Plain silver helmet. Plain Honolulu blue and silver jersey. Plain silver pants and blue socks.

The Lions will wear them Nov. 9 against Jacksonville, when they unveil their 75th anniversary team, and for their Thanksgiving Day game Nov. 27 against Tennessee.

Even better news is the throwbacks will become the 3rd uniform, the alternate worn on special occasions like the Thanksgiving Day game. We will no longer see Millen’s black jerseys, at least for the foreseeable future.

Thank fucking God!

According to Mlive’s Killer Kowalski, Drew Stanton is still having issues throwing the ball. To say he’s inconsistent is being generous. Just ask the man running the offense, Jim Colletto…

Today, he didn’t throw an interception so that was a huge plus,” said Lions offensive coordinator Jim Colletto after Wednesday’s morning workout.

It makes you wonder how many picks Stanton has been throwing up to this point! And there was this confidence inspiring bon mot from Colletto as well…

“I kind of close my eyes and don’t pay attention,” Colletto said with a smile.

Um, yeah. That’s encouraging as all Hell. (Big Al says, comment dripping with saracsm…) This is the QB of the future and offensive coordinator, folks! Good Lord…

Lions to their fans: ?F*** ?em until ext year? Fans to the Lions: Tell us something we didn?t already know

In some ways, the Detroit Lions are the most consistent team in the NFL. They are always inept, always clueless, always make the wrong move, always say and do the wrong thing. We have seen their latest misstep, and it’s par for the Lions’ course.

As reported by Oakland Press columnist Pat Caputo, a Lions season ticket holder who had several promises broken in regard to where his seats in Ford Field would be located, received an email from an employee of their ticket office. A message that was meant for internal eyes only.

But the pesky “reply all” button came back to bite the Lions in the ass. Within the email was a statement that reveals the Lions’ philosophy towards their long suffering, long abused and long milked for cash fanbase.

“Fuck ‘em until next year”

I’ll repeat it, for emphasis…

“Fuck ‘em until next year”

Once again, just because the Lions deserve to be embarrassed.

“Fuck ‘em until next year”

One more time, just because.

“Fuck ‘em until next year”

As a long-time fan of the Lions, I question my sanity all I can say is I’m not surprised. Nothing the Lions do surprises me at this point. If there is a way to screw up, to shoot themselves in the foot, the Lions will find a way.

As if they realized telling the fans to fuck off was quite enough, Lions money man, VP and COO Tom Lewand, decided to raise the ineptness bar. When Caputo followed up with the Lions about the email…

Lions executive vice president and chief operating officer Tom Lewand vehemently disagreed with my contention there is a correlation between the tone set by Ford and Millen — and this incident.

“If you write that, it will be factually incorrect and bordering on slander,” Lewand said. “And I will come after you.”

Amazing! Talk about thinking on your feet! Lewand, knowing the Lions have a history of making bad situations worse, threatens a B-level newspaper columnist and sports talk radio host with slander! Lewand came through in the clutch…unlike any of the Lions’ players.

So Lewand says anyone connecting the losing attitude that prevails in throughout every area of the Lions front office to the epic failures that are William Clay Ford and Matt Millen is committing slander?

Here’s the definition of “slander”

–noun
1. defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
2. a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
3. Law. defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.

So if anyone has the WRITTEN OPINION the Lions take their apparent disdain for their own fans direct from the top, namely the owner and GM, they would consider giving our WRITTEN OPINION to be committing slander?

Well, here are some facts. You can’t say any of the following is slander.

• The Lions have failed to make the playoffs since a porn ’stached goon named Matt Millen took over as president and GM.
• The Lions have won a single, solitary playoff game in William Clay Ford’s 40+ years of ownership.
• They raised ticket prices, even though their fans are in desperate financial straits.
• They are one of the few NFL franchise to have never made the Super Bowl.
• The TV networks think so little of the Lions, and their chances, their only nationally televised appearance will be on Thanksgiving Day.
• Since Ford took over, not a single fired Lions’ head coach has been the head coach of another NFL team.
• The Lions were the first NFL team to lose to an AFL team.
• The only Lions head coach of the Ford era to have an overall winning record, Joe Schmidt, walked away from the job rather than have to deal with Ford crony GM Russ Thomas.

There’s plenty mote, but i think you get my point. From top to bottom, from the front office to the field, the Lions have been, and will remain,  an epic failure. Put simply, Willaim Clay Ford = epic fail. That’s just my opinion, by the way. An opinion hared by the entire Lions fanbase.

You’d think their biggest concern would be having a winning team in Ford Field. Yet they seem more concerned with columnists bad mouthing the team owner, and telling their fans to essentially fuck off and die…until next year. When the circle of fail will begin again.

And that’s a sad God damn fact.

Fords claim to be ?proponents of affordable options.? Which is why they raised ticket prices, right?

You may have heard the those of us living in the great state of Michigan are going through tough financial times. “Tough” is an understatement. We’re in a big time recession. The auto industry is the lifeblood of this state, and it’s bleeding cash and jobs profusely. High paying jobs are leaving this area by the [...]

Lions tales: Stanton can save Marinelli, confused by Martz

In today’s Freep, columnist designated hit man declares there’s one way Rod Marinelli can be sure to save his job. No, it’s not making the playoffs, or even just winning more games than he loses. Sharp thinks Marinelli’s one jab saving card to play is…Starting Drew Stanton at QB. And that’s a commitment to Stanton as [...]

Answering the Detroit Lions burning questions: Orlovsky and Stanton aren?t ready edition

As I took a week long hiatus from SLR, I wanted to catch up on a few things. Namely, the draft and the Lions QB situation. what better way to do so than with another round of burning questions? Big Al, you said you were going to write about the remaining second day draft choices. What’s [...]

From the “Here we go again” dept: Jon Kitna predicts 10 wins

Straight from the horse’s ass QB’s mouth… “Our expectation is we will be disappointed if we don’t win 10 games,” he said today, when the Lions held their first Organized Team Activities session in Allen Park. “Because that will mean we’re not in the playoffs … I can’t make it any simpler than that. Anybody who [...]

Back tomorrow?

I was feeling a tad burned out after the draft, so I needed a few days away to recharge my football batteries. You can expect some new content starting tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

Detroit Lions draft review, 3rd round: Do 3 picks equal 3 busts or 3 contributors?

The 3rd round is where the Lions really need to make serious hay during the draft. Millen and Marinelli had 3 picks in a round where most teams expect to find contributors, if not starters. Sad to say, the Lions aren’t most teams. That’s not to say the 3 picks will be busts, as all have [...]

Detroit Lions draft review, 3rd round: Do 3 picks equal 3 busts or 3 contributors?

The 3rd round is where the Lions really need to make serious hay during the draft. Millen and Marinelli had 3 picks in a round where most teams expect to find contributors, if not starters. Sad to say, the Lions aren’t most teams. That’s not to say the 3 picks will be busts, as all have [...]

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