Steelers-Cowboys: The Battle of Good vs Evil

As regular readers of NPC surely expect, this is where I’d usually post some random news and/or talk a little smack about our upcoming opponents. Considering this week’s game is against longtime rival the Dallas Cowboys, I’m sure many of you thought I’d unveil a masterpiece along the lines of “29 Reasons Pittsburgh Is Better Than Dallas” or “Top Ten Venereal Diseases Tony Romo Has Contracted From Skanky Blondes.”

Sorry to disappoint.

I tried to do something like that but my heart wasn’t in it. Don’t misunderstand, I hate the Cowboys, more than any team not from Cleveland or coached by a hoodie wearing douchebag. But at the same time, I also have to respect them. When you look at the NFL, there are really two teams which stand out as the crown jewel franchises. One of course is the Steelers while the only other choice has to be the Cowboys.

Whenever a team is successful, you’ll find a segment of the country jumping on the bandwagon trying to feel like winners. This allegiance is always short-lived, ending as soon as said team stops winning Super Bowls. In the late 80s, 49er gear was all over the place. Has anybody bought red and gold merchandise in over a decade? When Green Bay and Denver had their brief moments in the spotlight, they garnered a smattering of nationwide support but most of that was pity and none of it was sustained over the years. As for the most dominant team of the 00s, nobody outside of New England cares one iota about the Pats except to hate them.

The only two truly national franchises are the Steelers and Cowboys. The Cowboys call themselves “America’s Team” and while that bit of hyperbole is typical of an arrogant organization, it is also true you’re just as likely to find a Cowboy fan in Bangor, Maine or Butte, Montana as in Dallas, Texas. Likewise, Steeler Nation extends far and wide as is evidenced by the waves of Black and Gold which invade road stadiums in numbers like no other.

So why do I hate them? Why can’t I establish mutual respect and leave it at that? Why does Batman hate the Joker? Why does Superman enjoy punching Lex Luthor in the mouth? Why?

Because we are the same but opposite. One is summer while the other is the winter. One is light while the other is dark. One is good while the other is evil. I think you can figure out which is which.

The Steelers are and have always been a blue collar team which emphasizes gritty nose to the grindstone hard-work. The Cowboys are and have always been prime time flash and dash glitzy Hollywood red carpet superstars. In fact, they’ve had players named Prime Time and Hollywood.

The Steelers have always been about the whole being more than the sum of the parts. To quote the wise Mr. Spock, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.” We’ve never had a situation where one specific player is our whole franchise. We never make one player the centerpiece of an entire team. That’s all Dallas ever does. Theirs is a culture of individualism. They’ll find a great RB or a great LB or a great QB but when that player goes down (as Romo did this year or Terrell Owens did last year), the team immediately falls apart. No wonder their fans wanted Bill Cowher and his belief in the team to come and save them earlier this year.

The Cowboys are owned by an irritating jackass of a man who insists on being the team’s General Manager.  Jerry Jones shameless self-promotion stands in stark contrast to the quiet dignity exuded by one of the most respected owners in all of sports, Dan Rooney. This is no doubt why the Cowboys have experienced over a half dozen coaching changes since 1993 while we’ve had one. Their meddlesome owner is at the root of their Machiavellian “win at all costs” strategy. He will bring in any player, regardless of character or past misdeeds, if he thinks it will help them win. Locker room cancers (T.O), gun-toting maniacs (Tank Johnson), and stripper beating miscreants (Pacman Jones) are all welcome in Big D. The Steelers systematically rid themselves of such players, even if they’re supremely talented, such as in the case of Plaxico Burress, an undeniably superior WR whose pea-brained antics continue to embarrass his team to this day.

Tony Romo knows he has crossed over to the Dark Side. That’s why he recently tried to cleanse his karma by taking a foul-smelling bum to the movies. Sure, this isn’t nearly as impressive as Ben Roethlisberger using Jedi Mind Tricks to talk a crazed gunmen out of bustin’ a cap in his ass but it was nice of him to pay it forward since nobody has been luckier these past few years than ‘ol Tony. Besides, what’s so impressive about sitting next to a homeless pan-handler? He let Britney Spears sit on his lap so obviously he’s not put off by strange odors.

Look, here’s the moral of the story. Sometimes good wins but occasionally evil is triumphant. Like in Super Bowl XXX where coke-snorting Mike Irvin and his band of whoring madmen handed the Steelers their lone Super Bowl defeat when Christian gentlemen/future astroturf salesman Neil O’Donnell was paid off by Jerry Jones threw two badly timed interceptions. They’re still paying for that win as they’ve never won another. Hopefully when Good emerges victorious this week, we’ll set their playoff hopes back enough to add another year to that penance.

Week 12 Recap: Winning’s Hard When You Can’t Cheat

Revenge is a dish best served cold or, sometimes, wet. Playing in a steady downpour, the Pittsburgh Steelers crushed the New England Patriots 33-10 in their most dominating win of the season. The almost biblical rainstorm drenching the field was oddly symbolic as if the heavens above were trying to wash the rotten stink of Bill Belichick from the landscape of the NFL.

Make no mistake, this was the Steelers finest performance of the year. The Massholes, as is their modus operandi, will come up with 101 reasons why this game shouldn’t count but considering most of them weren’t aware they had a team until 2001, ignore their excuse-making. Why just last week those same dimwits were throwing their franchise QB overboard while anointing Matt Cassel the Chosen One. If that doesn’t show you the amount of ignorance we’re dealing with, Cassel’s sloppy and inept play should. Whatever terribly run franchise, I’m guessing the Detroit Lions, that empties the bank to sign this guy is going to be really disappointed when they discover their shiny new sports car is a lemon.

Cassel was coming off two 400 yard passing performances which led to the ridiculous level of hysteria surrounding his play. That those performances came against mediocre Miami and Jets (watch as everybody jumps off that bandwagon this week) defenses seemed to escape the no-nothing talking heads who are, you know, paid to analyze football. Granted, the Steeler defense isn’t your typical defense. It’s an unrelenting machine. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Where to begin with the beautiful violence displayed on Sunday afternoon. Defenders stormed in on Cassel from all angles, finishing the game with 5 sacks. James Harrison cemented his place as the BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN FOOTBALL adding 2 more sacks to his league leading total, both of which caused fumbles. LaMarr Woodley chipped in with one of his own while Casey Hampton, moments after being flagged for a ridiculous holding call, showed why you do not piss off the Fat Man by promptly squashing Cassel on the next play. Troy Polamalu was all over the field, dropping back and blitzing, culminating in a nice tip-INT to ice the game. Lawrence Timmons, who should be starting at this point, made a sweet pick out in coverage.

Words can’t describe how dominate this defensive performance was. The only score the feeble Patriot offense could manage was when they started at the Steelers 14 after a Ben Roethlisberger interception. They had 5 total yards in the 3^rd Quarter. They didn’t convert a third down until late in the 4^th. They had 122 rushing yards, about double the 66 which Pittsburgh had been allowing, but that’s misleading. For some reason, the Steelers went to a weird Cover-2/prevent type D late in the first half and the Pats used draws to rip off 55 yards on two runs. Ike Taylor continued to establish a reputation as an elite Shut Down Corner by limiting WR Randy Moss to 45 measly yards.

Of course, the most memorable play occurred in the third quarter when S Ryan Clark, who missed last year’s game, made sure the Patriots knew he was there by attempting to behead WR Wes Welker. The hit was like something out of “The Longest Yard” but without benefit of a highly trained stuntman. Clark was flagged for a personal foul despite the fact Santonio Holmes was lit up on almost an identical (unpenalized) play last week as the NFL continues their march toward turning into Flag Football. Clark will undoubtedly receive a fine from Fuhrer Goodell because, well, the NFL hates the Steelers. Members of Steeler Nation should start a fund for Ryan as I don’t know about you but that hit was totally worth something to me.

On the flip side, the Steeler offense actually showed a spark of life today. I’ve been monitoring the poll I have going on and I’m sad that so many people swallow what the media feeds them without examining the evidence. The offensive line is not a great unit by any means but they are far from the main culprit behind our woes. Big Ben was sacked only once against a pretty decent group of pass rushers while the running game piled up 161 yards which shows you they are a capable if unspectacular unit.  Injuries to the backfield, Ben holding on to the ball way too long, and our idiot Offensive Coordinator dialing up 30 yard pass plays in the face of jailbreak blitzes are a much bigger problem than any shortcomings along the line.

Case in point this game. Notice how the Steelers have began utilizing the bunch formation (when all the receivers are packed about 5 yards off the line) in order to facilitate a short, quick-hitting passing game. Notice how the TEs like Heath Miller, who led the team with 4 catches for 60 yards, have become a bigger part of the offense. Notice the commitment to the run as the Steelers have settled into a three pronged running attack with Mewelde Moore featured in the 1^st half, Willie Parker (showing good speed but questionable cutting) in the 2^nd half, and Gary Russell in short yardage situations. All these things combine for an offense which controls the clock, keeps downs and distances manageable, and keeps the defense off balance enough to prevent them from pinning their ears back on the pass rush.

Again, the Massholes will no doubt whine that Moss dropped a potential TD pass along with several other key throws during the course of the game. I counter by noting the Steelers left several TDs on the grass themselves. Santonio is playing like a man who doesn’t want to be here much longer as he dropped not one but two potential TDs and his loafing on a play almost led to an INT. If rookie Limas Sweed can blossom into a solid #3, he could be squeezed out with the rise of Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington, who has emerged this season and can be counted on for at least one or two big catches per game, although he did drop what would’ve been a back breaking bomb late in the game.

The Bungles bent over and grabbed their ankles for those pesky Baltimore Ravens so the Steelers maintain their slim one game lead in the division. The Purple Birds have the Washington Redskins next week at home which is a tough one to predict because on one hand the Skins are fighting for a playoff spot but on the other hand they haven’t played very well in recent weeks. Meanwhile, our old buddies the Dallas Cowboys come into town also fighting for a playoff spot. In any case, it’s looking more and more like the week 15 showdown in Charm City is going to be the tipping point for the entire year. If the Steelers can continue to play at the level they displayed this week, nothing short of a Silverback launching long snaps can stop them.

Week 12 Preview: Steelers vs. Patriots

I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. While you were huddled over your 22 pound turducken, passing Grandma the candied yams, maybe you saw a bit of the annual NFL action out of the corner of your eye. And when you did, I hope you remembered to give thanks for being a Steeler fan.

Now, on to this week’s contest with the New England Patriots. When they lost franchise quarterback Tom Brady to a season-ending knee injury, they could’ve easily shrugged their shoulders and wrote the year off. Instead, they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and have managed a very respectable showing thus far. While they’ve been aided by the easiest schedule in the NFL, they’ve also had to overcome even more injuries to their best defensive player (S Rodney Harrison) and every member of their backfield.

For maintaining competitiveness and working through adversity, head coach Bill Belichick deserves a great deal of credit. Whether this coaching tour de force is enough to erase the taint of Spygate is another thing.

If there’s one lesson to be learned from the Spygate fiasco, it’s that Bill Belichick is a complete bullshit artist. For years Belichick went out of his way to mention how much he loved the game and respected the sport, his fellow coaches, and the players. Yet the scandal put a sizeable dent in the game’s integrity and Belichick’s wrath at actually being accused of cheating (which he most definitely did) led to the Patriots disrespectfully running up the score on teams throughout the season. The lesson was that Bill Belichick did have a great deal of respect for the game…as long as he was its unquestioned genius.

STEELER DEFENSE vs. PATRIOTS OFFENSE

In honor of Black Friday, here’s what everybody in the NFL will want under their Christmas tree this year: Matt Cassel. Write it down, he will be a starting QB in the NFL next season. If not for the Patriots, then for the likes of Detroit or San Francisco. Brady’s injury couldn’t have come at a better time for Cassel, who is an unrestricted free agent after this year. With the low quality of quarterbacking in the league, he’ll be the best FA QB prospect since Drew Brees. The only real question is how far along is Tom Terrific’s bum knee and will the Pats have to franchise Matt in order to protect themselves next year?

The other burning question is whether Cassel is actually a talent or a product of a winning system. Is he the next Steve Young or is he the next Rob Johnson? The first month of his tenure was rough, of course he was starting for the first time since HIGH SCHOOL. After those early games when the team was averaging about 10 pts/per, the Pats shifted to a run-based/ball control/West Coast offense. Cassel slowly began to thrive until the coaches have gained enough confidence in his throwing that they’ve began running an offense more in line to what they had under Brady. Cassel has passed for over 400 yards in two consecutive weeks.

Still, let’s be realistic. A lot of what makes the Patriots so tough is they have a motivated Randy Moss, arguably the greatest deep threat WR ever. They also have Chad Jackson, while not a great receiver, he was drafted to stretch the field with his speed. With that, opposing defenses are forced to use a lot of double safety help over the top, a fact Anthony Smith probably still has nightmares about. The vertical passing game opens up the underneath passing game for Wes Welker, the best slot receiver in football.

And if those guys were covered, they can still go to TE Ben Watson or excellent screen runner RB Kevin Faulk. Faulk missed time due to injury but he is one they got back. The rest of their RBs have not been so lucky. They primarily feature Benjarvis Green-Ellis, an undrafted free agent who was on their PRACTICE SQUAD although Sammy Morris has returned in recent weeks and will get some playing time.

According to the latest reports, it looks like the Three Amigos will ride again in our secondary. Deshea Townshend, coming off a sprained hammy, and Bryant McFadden, nursing a broken forearm, both practiced on Thursday which usually indicates they’ll give it a go. Good timing as they’ll join Ike “Can’t See Me” Taylor to face the daunting task of covering those Patriot receivers.

The other important thing to note is Brady’s Kryptonite has always been his statue-like pocket presence. Cassel is much more mobile so even if our hellacious pass rushers get in on him (and to be honest, the Pats O-Line is a bit overrated), they will be dealing with a far more maneuverable QB.

STEELER OFFENSE vs. PATRIOTS DEFENSE

NE still empoys a 3-4 scheme although they’ve made changes over the years to use more four down linemen formations and using more 1 gap 3-4 instead of 2 gap 3-4 schemes. The defense wasn’t all that hot last season but they did have a knack for making the right plays at the right time. After the David Tyree miracle catch, Archie Manning noted that he and his sons talked about how if the game gets close, Eli could not afford to get sacked because they noticed over the years that the Patriots had an uncanny knack for getting big sacks in crunch time.

This is a big defense as they rarely ever find a team that is more physical than they are. However, their size and physical play comes at a price as it’s often difficult to find linebackers who are both big and can cover. For the past few years they had to move our old friend Mike Vrabel to the inside to help with coverage. Now that his cover skills have diminished, he’ll probably stick to playing the outside backer spot and just rush the passer. He’s about as incredible as they get when it comes to making the timely big play. Honestly, it’s amazing he’s become the clutch big game player he’s been for this team when everybody who remembers his lone year starting for the Steelers will recall how ineffective he was as a pass rusher.

Adalius Thomas was their best cover LB. He was another tremendous loss as he’s out for the year with a broken arm. They’ve been forced to play rookie 1^st rounder Jerrod Mayo probably a lot more than they would like but the noob has risen to the occasion. He’s a tremendous prospect and just the type of player they badly needed; an athletic smart player who can cover inside and mow down runs to the outside.

They lost Asante Samuel to free agency but it wasn’t as devastating as some might have thought. The Pats don’t place too much value on corners because they are primarily a zone defense team which stresses scheme over individual talent. They have been more susceptible to the pass than the run this year but they’re still middle of the pack in both categories. That’s not much different than last year, only people didn’t worry so much last year due to the comfort of knowing their offense was good for at least 30+ points every game.

Pothole Willie Parker’s knee is bothering him again as excessive swelling prevented him from practicing this week. At this point, I think we can safely hang the tag of “injury prone” on FWP. Luckily the one-two punch of Mewelde Moore and Gary Russell has proven quite effective in relief. They’ll have to rise to the occasion on Sunday since a ball control/possession type offense is still the best way to deal with the Patriots. Then again, O-Coordinator Bruce Arians hasn’t committed to the run all season, why start now?

The rest of the offense looks good to go so it’ll be interesting what Arians has planned for a very smart and well-coached defensive team. Whenever we’ve played intelligent D-Coordinators (Jim Johnson, Steve Spagnulo), they’ve coached rings around ‘ol Bruce. This week we get Belichick and whatever puppet he calls his DC so in this battle of wits, hopefully Arians doesn’t come unarmed.

Speaking of arms, if QB Ben Roethlisberger can keep his pointed in the direction of our WRs and not their CBs, he should have a decent day throwing the ball. I don’t anticipate the pressure being too overwhelming nor do I think the secondary is stifling enough to really hamper that aspect of our game. Big Ben has looked much stronger and healthier in recent weeks so if he stays within himself and avoids game-changing mistakes, he should have a pretty productive day.

Also of note, Mitch Berger makes his triumphant return as Steeler punter this week. Paul Ernster and his 30 yard average were sent packing to nobody’s surprise. Daniel Supulveda was lost for the year so we held a competition between Ernster and Berger. Ernster stunk so we went with Berger. Berger stunk so we brought back Ernster. Ernster was beyond atrocious so here comes Berger again. I know this is a radical idea but HOW ABOUT TRYING SOMEBODY NEW?!?

You can’t tell me those two clowns represent all there is in the free agent punter talent pool. Whoever kicks better do a good job as Ellis Hobbs had a great year on returns last year, averaging 26 yards a kickoff while Wes Welker is not explosive on returns but consistent at putting his team in good field position.

Unlike previous years where the division was wrapped up by mid-season, the Patriots are in a real dogfight with the streaking Jets. Failing a division title, they’re also looking at a three way battle with the Ravens and Colts for a Wild Card spot. The Steelers follow this week with Dallas, Baltimore, Tennessee, and Cleveland. Only one of those is a gimme (I leave it to you to figure out which) and with Baltimore one measly game behind, we really need to pick up at least two wins. This appears to be the 2^nd most winnable game of the five. One thing is for sure, the loser of this game will be in an almost no margin for error situation if they hope to make the playoffs.

Steeler Nation Still Hates The Pats

With the New England Patriots lacking the services of franchise QB Tom Brady and being far from the undefeated juggernaut which rampaged through the NFL last season, I thought it might be useful to provide my fellow members of Steeler Nation a few reminders why we should still hate the Fighting Belicheats.

5) Tom Brady is a dandy.

Kordell Stewart had his sexuality questioned when he cried bitter manly tears after Coach Bill Cowher benched him during a poor performance. What would people think if there were pictures of him carrying a man purse? Also, note the hat. Even their star quarterback can’t stand the Bosox.

“Hey Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!”

- Kramer, from “Seinfeld”

4) Everybody needs a break from hating the Red Sox.

Sure we all felt sorry for them when they hadn’t won in 90 years but now that they’ve taken two in the last five years, they’ve quickly wore out their welcome. Cub fans are the worst but at least you can laugh at them when they experience their inevitable failure.

Watching Jason Bay get game-winning hits for the Bosox was a little like watching the end of Star Wars when Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader for the first time.

3) They need six states to have a fan base.

In the beginning, they were known as the Boston Patriots. The problem was they always finished a distant fourth in the fans’ eyes to the Celtics, Bruins, and Sox. So in order to beef up their fan pool, they decided to represent all of New England. Who’s to say Vermont or Rhode Island even want to root for the Pats? Kind of presumptuous, isn’t it?

It’s all good, though. The Patriots can have the six New England states; the Steelers will have to settle for being the favorite team of the other 44 (and District of Columbia).

2) Coach Bill Belichick is still a douchebag.

With his team up 41-20 against the Dolphins last week, Spycam Bill had his first team offense out there throwing long passes and trying to score instead of doing the sportsmanlike thing and taking a knee. Maybe he confused the NFL with the BCS and thought he needed to pile it on in order to be invited to the post-season. This was neither the first time, nor will it be the last, Belichick has run up a score showing the lack of character and class which has epitomized his reign of terror.

By the way, Rashard Mendenhall looks way better in a hoodie.

1)  ‘Nuff Said

*

Week 12 Recap: Ben Knows How To Score

Congratulations, you’ve won the Pennsylvania lottery. Certainly, sir, we’d love to give you a refund. Sorry for the long wait, please have an extra chalupa on us.  Oh my, it’s soooo big.

All things I thought I’d never hear.

“The Steelers offensive line has played an excellent game tonight.” used to be on the list. Miraculously, that one gets crossed off because I actually heard it last night when the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 27-10. Granted, it was spoken by Cris Collingsworth, who is so in love with his own voice I bet he talks dirty to himself, but kudos are kudos.

To be fair, the line did perform well in surrendering zero sacks. Okay, the Bengal defense was pretty banged up and sure they don’t have much of a pass rush even when healthy but remember Baby Steps. QB Ben Roethlisberger was afforded a nice pocket on almost every play and the team managed to rush for a total of 121 yards with three different backs. Plus, they managed to avoid getting flagged for the zillion holding penalties which plagued them last week.

The 121 rushing yards were shared by a three man RB-by-committee. Fast Willie Parker started the game and looked awful. The weather, field conditions, or a flare-up of his knee injury really affected his performance to the point Coach Mike Tomlin yanked him from the game for the entire 2^nd half. He had none of the burst he showed last week and would stutter step/hesitate instead of hitting the hole. Subtract one 15 yard scamper and his stat line is an ugly 13 carries for 22 yards.

Luckily, the calvary was on its way in the form of Mewelde Moore. Moore stepped in to provide a capable rushing attack (56 yards) while also being a threat on screen passes (41 yards). I dare say without his valiant efforts, we would have been in deep trouble. Gary Russell also came up big, first on a 35 yard kick return which gave the Steelers field position and then later converting a key 4^th and 1 near the goal line. That call, where Tomlin channeled his Inner Cowher by passing up a chip shot FG for a first down conversion, was the turning point of the game.

Cincy came out guns blazing, even without the services of malcontent WR Chad Bozo Clowno. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick moved the team right down the field, picking on newly signed CB Fernando Bryant. Fernando did not look mah-velous. It’s no mystery why this guy was out of the league as of two weeks ago. He has the speed to keep up with WRs but gets juked and faked all over the place and in the NFL all it takes is leaning the wrong way for a split second for a window to open up. He got burned on a long pass early in the drive and then got toasted in the end zone for a quick 7-0 Bengal lead.

The Steeler offense came out flat as FWP couldn’t get on track and the passing game seemed out of synch. WRs Nate Washington and Hines Ward have had some big games and big catches this year but they’ve also had big problems with dropping easy ones. Drives floundered when both failed to make plays in the first half. The Steelers finally ended their TD drought after 8 quarters in the 2^nd when O-Coordinator Bruce Arians, who seems to have figured out you’re allowed to throw to your TE, decided to try it with Heath Miller.  Miller’s 14 yarder after a penalty moved them back and TD catch from 3 yards out were sandwiched around a 36 yard strike to Hines. A Skippy Reed FG later in the quarter and it was déjà vu all over again as the teams went to halftime with the same exact 10-7 score they had in their first game.

When play resumed, the Steelers chewed up some clock (and added another FG) with Mewelde Moore taking advantage of a beat up Bengal defense that lost two more starters as the game progressed. Gary Russell finally rammed the ball in from the 2 for his first TD as a Steeler on a drive that was set up by Double M’s 15 yard run followed by a 22 yard screen pass.  Also interesting to note was Carey Davis joined FWP on the pine with blocking FB duties being performed by Sean McHugh.  He did a rather good job which is yet another case of backups on this team outperforming the supposed starters.

In the third, Cincy finally got some offense going after the beautiful violence of the Blitzburgh Defense had pretty much stifled them all game. Their drive was aided by P Paul Ernster and his inability to kick anything but wounded ducks. I usually ignore kickers and concentrate on the real football players but I have to say Ernster is quickly becoming an embarrassment. One could argue the poor weather contributed to the lousy punting yesterday (Cincy’s kicker had a rough outing, too) but over two games now Ernster’s average has to be hovering around the 30 yard mark. How sad is it that the punter with the torn hammy kicked better than the punter with two healthy legs?

Anyway, Cincy took advantage of starting at midfield and drove the ball down to the 8. Once there, the Steelers benefited from Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis’s distinct lack of testicles when he kicked a FG on 4^th down. You play to win the game, Marvin.

On the subsequent drive, a heavy dose of Mewelde Moore, a clutch third down play (Ben broke free from a sack and scrambled to find a heads up Limas Sweed), and the game was sealed when Ben broke away from another would-be sacker and darted in for the score. It wasn’t always pretty and there is definitely more than one area that needs to be worked on but as I said in my preview Baby Steps.  With the cream puff section of their schedule over, the Steelers look toward games against NE, Dallas, and Tennessee, making now the time to put their best foot forward.

Week 12 Recap: Ben Knows How To Score

Congratulations, you’ve won the Pennsylvania lottery. Certainly, sir, we’d love to give you a refund. Sorry for the long wait, please have an extra chalupa on us.  Oh my, it’s soooo big.

All things I thought I’d never hear.

“The Steelers offensive line has played an excellent game tonight.” used to be on the list. Miraculously, that one gets crossed off because I actually heard it last night when the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 27-10. Granted, it was spoken by Cris Collingsworth, who is so in love with his own voice I bet he talks dirty to himself, but kudos are kudos.

To be fair, the line did perform well in surrendering zero sacks. Okay, the Bengal defense was pretty banged up and sure they don’t have much of a pass rush even when healthy but remember Baby Steps. QB Ben Roethlisberger was afforded a nice pocket on almost every play and the team managed to rush for a total of 121 yards with three different backs. Plus, they managed to avoid getting flagged for the zillion holding penalties which plagued them last week.

The 121 rushing yards were shared by a three man RB-by-committee. Fast Willie Parker started the game and looked awful. The weather, field conditions, or a flare-up of his knee injury really affected his performance to the point Coach Mike Tomlin yanked him from the game for the entire 2^nd half. He had none of the burst he showed last week and would stutter step/hesitate instead of hitting the hole. Subtract one 15 yard scamper and his stat line is an ugly 13 carries for 22 yards.

Luckily, the calvary was on its way in the form of Mewelde Moore. Moore stepped in to provide a capable rushing attack (56 yards) while also being a threat on screen passes (41 yards). I dare say without his valiant efforts, we would have been in deep trouble. Gary Russell also came up big, first on a 35 yard kick return which gave the Steelers field position and then later converting a key 4^th and 1 near the goal line. That call, where Tomlin channeled his Inner Cowher by passing up a chip shot FG for a first down conversion, was the turning point of the game.

Cincy came out guns blazing, even without the services of malcontent WR Chad Bozo Clowno. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick moved the team right down the field, picking on newly signed CB Fernando Bryant. Fernando did not look mah-velous. It’s no mystery why this guy was out of the league as of two weeks ago. He has the speed to keep up with WRs but gets juked and faked all over the place and in the NFL all it takes is leaning the wrong way for a split second for a window to open up to the receiver. He got burned on a long pass early in the drive and then got toasted in the end zone for a quick 7-0 Bengal lead.

The Steeler offense came out flat as FWP couldn’t get on track and the passing game seemed out of synch. WRs Nate Washington and Hines Ward have had some big games and big catches this year but they’ve also had big problems with dropping easy ones. Drives floundered when both failed to make plays in the first half. The Steelers finally ended their TD drought after 8 quarters in the 2^nd when O-Coordinator Bruce Arians, who finally figured out last week you’re allowed to throw to your TE, decided to try it with Heath Miller.  Miller’s 14 yarder after a penalty moved them back and TD catch from 3 yards out were sandwiched around a 36 yard strike to Hines. A Skippy Reed FG later in the quarter and it was déjà vu all over again as the teams went to halftime with the same exact 10-7 score they had in their first game.

When play resumed, the Steelers chewed up some clock (and added another FG) with Mewelde Moore taking advantage of a beat up Bengal defense that lost two more starters as the game progressed. Gary Russell finally rammed the ball in from the 2 for his first TD as a Steeler on a drive that was set up by Double M’s 15 yard run followed by a 22 yard screen pass.  Also interesting to note was Carey Davis joined FWP on the pine with blocking FB duties being performed by Sean McHugh.  He did a rather good job which is yet another case of backups on this team outperforming the supposed starters.

In the third, Cincy finally got some offense going after the beautiful violence of the Blitzburgh Defense had pretty much stifled them all game. Their drive was aided by P Paul Ernster and his inability to kick anything but wounded ducks. I usually ignore kickers and concentrate on the real football players but I have to say Ernster is quickly becoming an embarrassment. One could argue the poor weather contributed to the lousy punting yesterday (Cincy’s kicker had a rough outing, too) but over two games now Ernster’s average has to be hovering around the 30 yard mark. How sad is it that the punter with the torn hammy kicked better than the punter with two healthy legs?

Anyway, Cincy took advantage of starting at midfield and drove the ball down to the 8. Once there, the Steelers benefited from Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis’s distinct lack of testicles when he kicked a FG on 4^th down. You play to win the game, Marvin.

On the subsequent drive, a heavy dose of Mewelde Moore and a clutch third down play by Ben (breaking free from a sack and scrambling to find a heads up Limas Sweed) sealed the game when Ben broke away from another would-be sacker and darted in for the score. It wasn’t always pretty and there is definitely more than one area that needs to be worked on but as I said in my preview Baby Steps.  With the cream puff section of their schedule over, the Steelers look toward games against NE, Dallas, and Tennessee, making now the time to put their best foot forward.

Ocho Cinco Benched For Being Imbecile

In late breaking news (stolen shamelessly from ESPN’s never-ending crawl of doom), the Bengals have deactivated star wide receiver/flamboyant showman/obnoxious twat Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco for tonight’s tilt against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The story posted on ESPN did not elaborate as to why the World’s Greatest Wide Receiver (who’s caught only 4 touchdowns) was banished to the bench except to say he “violated team rules.” Speculation runs rampant on the blogosphere as to which rule Chad broke, although there are rumors it has something to do with him repeatedly referring to coach Marvin Lewis as “Jim Fassel.”  In the meantime, Ocho Stinko’s place will be taken by Chris Henry.  Because in Bengaland, missing a team meeting is so much worse than failed drug tests, DUIs, and beating the snot out of 16 year old kids. Okay, the punk probably deserved it.  But still, only in Cincy would they punish a malcontent by replacing him with a criminal.

Week 12 Preview: Steelers vs. Bengals II

What would we do without Philly?   Between their dumbass wide receiver spiking the ball a yard before he reached the end zone, their drug hoarding deadbeat dad of a coach, and their tubby quarterback who can’t run a hurry up offense without puking his guts all over the sideline, that team continues to be the NFL equivalent of an older brother who is fun to invite to parties but sadly still lives in our mother’s basement.

Anyway, in news related to the one team Pennsylvanians can be proud of, it’s the first double-dip of the season for the beloved Pittsburgh Steelers as the hated Cincinnati Bengals come to town for the second half of our annual two game set. Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a tie.

Since I already previewed the two teams, there’s no sense in repeating my brilliant and usually spot-on analysis. Instead, I’ll simply touch on issues relevant to the upcoming game.

Of course, the picture above is in reference to the Bengal’s tie against the Philadelphia Eagles, the first since the Steelers drew with the Dirty Birds back in ’02. I caught a bit of the game and it was less a hard fought battle and more a cripple fight. Philly didn’t seem too eager to win (although in Donavan McNabb’s case, he probably thought he had two or three more OTs to get the job done) while Cincy snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by shanking a 47 yard FG to win the game. Still, the fact the same fearsome Iggles team which handed us our worst loss of the season was battled to a standstill by Cincy should fill us with both fear and shame.

In fact, since we last saw the Bengals, they’ve actually started to play like a professional football team. They got crushed by Houston after losing to us but then went down to Jacksonville and beat the sissies in teal for their first win. Earlier in the year, they took the Giants team with only 1 loss and who beat us up into OT.  Despite the fact they’re a punchline to many jokes and this season will probably cost Marvin Lewis his job, they’re nowhere near as pathetic as say Oakland or Detroit.

To be fair, the 38-10 final score in our first game looks like a blowout but the game was a much closer battle than that. The Steelers were nursing a slim 3 point margin at halftime despite the fact Cincy QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was sacked every other play and they didn’t get into positive total yardage until the final drive of the half. Our offense didn’t perform much better until they figured out CB Jonathan Joseph couldn’t cover his mouth on a sneeze and beat him deep with Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington.

It’s a little perplexing how the Bengals have managed to stay in games. Harvard alum Fitzpatrick, frankly, stinks. He’s got the lowest QB Rating in the league (71.3!) and considering the talent this team has at WR, it’s amazing he only has 5 measly TD passes. They’ve all but given up on RB Chris Perry and handed main backfield duties to Bears castoff Cedric Benson. Chad Ocho Cinco has only quatro scoreos and is on pace for only about 500 total receiving yards. T.J. Houshalottaletters is one of the elite WRs in the league but that shouldn’t be enough to keep them competitive. But they have been.

The game will present an interesting match-up for the Steelers as 2/3 of the Three Amigos (Bryant McFadden and Deshea Townshend) will once again be inactive. Manly William Gay and Anthony Madison did a good job against San Diego last week although the weather helped a bit in that the Chargers speed in the vertical passing game was limited on the slippy chewed up field. Fernando Bryant looked shaky but he only had about 3 days of practice so if he does play on Thursday, let’s hope he’s a bit more up to speed. It looks the rest of the Blitzburgh D will be ready to go which is good news for those of us who enjoy seeing James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley chase QBs like a dog chasing a bone.

Offensively, it appears RG Darnell Stapleton will be good to go which means it’ll be the usual gang of idiots manning the OL. Well, LT Marvel Smith is listed as out, too, but at this point I think it’s safe to just give up on him permanently. Fast Willie Parker managed to play an entire game without incurring another injury so we might just have him in the starting line up for two consecutive games. Hooray for modern medical science and/or Oxycontin! FWP will be a big addition because Cincy has a horrible run defense which should allow him to pile up a good amount of yardage.

Despite the Bengals playing gamely in the face of certain doom and the historical fact of them tending to rise to the occasion when they play us, there really is no excuse for us to lose this game. A great offensive performance won’t mean much but it would be a baby step in the right direction. As the Steelers gear up for the final month of the season and, hopefully, a playoff run, bringing that offense along one baby step at a time should be one of the main goals each and every week.

Week 11 Recap: Death by Paper Cuts

Don’t get excited.

Yesterday’s 11-10 (or was it 17-10?) victory over the San Diego Chargers was the very definition of a bad win. I’m sure some diehard members of Steeler Nation as well as the team’s fawning apologists in the Pittsburgh sports media will declare things are back on track. They’ll laud yet another stellar effort from the Blitzburgh defense. They’ll talk of a rejuvenated offense which featured a 300 yard passer, 100 yard rusher, and 100 yard receiver for the first time this year.

And they’d be missing the point.

The Steelers failed to score an offensive touchdown for the third time this season. QB Ben Roethlisberger’s stat line looks pretty (31-41 for 308 yards) but most of that was climate aided. Due to the frozen tundra of Heinz Field, the Charger defenders tried to combat the poor footing by playing well off the receivers trying to keep things in front of them. This allowed Ben to dink and dunk 5-8 yards passes all day long. Most of the passing yardage happened on runs after the catch. TE Matt Spaeth caught 6 balls for 55 yards while WR Hines Ward hauled in 11 for 124.

To his credit, Ben did avoid the game-altering mistakes which have plagued him in recent weeks. He made a couple dangerous throws but neither the INT bug nor his habit of holding on to the ball too long seemed to crop up. Of course, the weather dictated short passing game was an important factor. If we could run this offense every week, I could understand some optimism. Since this was a one time thing under very specific circumstances, you can’t expect them to be able to replicate it every week.

While Ben avoided mistakes, the rest of the team was full of them. Now I know what it feels like to live in Oakland because this was like watching a Raiders game minus the crazy senile owner. I’ve never seen a Steelers team take so many penalties. The final tally was 13 for 115 yards, many of the drive killing variety. It’s fun to bitch about the refs but perhaps it backfired as Hines Ward (who got nabbed twice for holding) seems like he’s being singled out by the zebras.

One of the penalties, a ridiculous holding call on CB Ike Taylor, set up a SD touchdown. The receiver cut left as Ike was arm jousting with him while QB Philip Rivers threw the ball 10 yards in the opposite direction. The other penalties were a smorgasbord of holding calls, mostly against the offensive line, although one was on a kickoff return which negated a nice run back by RB Gary Russell. Russell, by the way, seems to finally be the solution to the team’s never-ending search for a capable return man.

The line, which to their credit only surrendered 4 sacks on 41 pass plays, had an up and down afternoon. Penalties killed them, particularly on a nice drive that reached the red zone only to see two consecutive holding calls saddle them with a 2^nd and 30. RG Darnell Stapleton was carted off the field and replaced by Trai Essex which by my count means Tony Hills is our last backup left. Pray to whatever god you believe in he never has to take the field. The run blocking was mostly good as Fast Willie Parker returned with a 115 yard performance. He looked completely healthy as the burst was back and seemed to have no problems with either his shoulder or balky knee.

The team did have problems once again on short yardage situations. Mewelde Moore was stonewalled once again on a goal line stand. Parker fared no better on a third and short later in the game. Exasperated, head coach Mike Tomlin gave Russell a try and he promptly converted two of ‘em. So that’s two valuable roles he seems to fill. Good thing we used our #1 pick on a RB last year, huh?

Of course, we’d all be talking about how the Steeler ship has finally hit the iceberg if not for the defense, particularly the work of one James Harrison. The Silverback accounted for roughly half of the Steelers points. Swatting the ball out of Rivers’ mitts in the endzone scored us a safety while his INT return set us up for a Skippy Reed FG. Harrison’s partner-in-destruction, LaMarr Woodley, also returned to play well, particularly on a third and long play where he prevented a big first down by knocking down the ball in coverage(!). Speaking of coverage, despite 2/3 of the Three Amigos being injured, their backups did a pretty decent job. Unfortunately named William Gay was picked on all day and mostly rose to the challenge. Anthony Madison performed capably. The only blight was recently signed Fernando Bryant, who got all kinds of turned around on the handful of plays I saw him for. Luckily, his miscues didn’t cost us. Oh, and speaking of secondary play, the INT by S Troy Polamalu will deservedly take a place amongst the best plays of the season by anybody anywhere.

Since we’re talking about Troy, I guess we need to discuss what happened on the final play. It’s enormously frustrating that players get fined for things that aren’t called weeks after the fact while refs blow calls, sometimes even affecting the outcome of the game, and nothing is ever done. It’s also frustrating that the people in charge of enforcing the rules don’t seem to know them. I tried to read the various explanations but there’s less bullshit at Phipps Conservatory. The main point seems to be the initial pass was ruled an illegal forward pass, thus ending the play there. Except the initial pass was Rivers throwing the ball to a receiver which has been legal in the NFL since about 1938. The WR then lateraled to another player who tried a third lateral only to have Troy jump the play and knock the ball toward the end zone where he picked it up and scored. Somewhere along the line, the refs forgot you’re allowed one forward pass per play. What’s worse, they took 5 minutes to review the play and still blew it. Who was he talking to under the hood, his bookie? Either that or maybe he went to the Dave Hebner School of Refereeing.

In any event, until Herr Roger Goodell decides to reach down with his god-like hand and wipe away the mistakes made by the zebras, it goes down as an ugly 11-10 victory for the good guys. The G-Men returned the favor from the gift we gave them a few weeks back by beating the Ravens so we now have a two game cushion in the division. There will be no rest for the wicked as it’s a short week with the Bengals on tap for Thursday night on the Channel Nobody Gets. The Bengals managed to tie (Tie? A freakin’ tie?) the same Philly team which crushed us and have been playing like an actual professional football team as of late. We’ll have to wait and see if the Steelers can say the same.

Week 11 Preview: Steelers vs. Chargers

Told you their cheerleaders were really hot.

Unfortunately, the enduring image for the San Diego Chargers won’t be sexy California blondes but rather hobbled quarterback Phillip Rivers gallantly gutting out a torn MCL while trying to drive his team down the field during the waning moments of the AFC Championship game against the undefeated New England Patriots.

The enduring image of the San Diego Chargers for any diehard member of Steeler Nation will always be slow-footed cornerback Tim McKyer getting beat like a drum on a 4^th quarter touchdown bomb which would propel SD to their one and only Super Bowl appearance.

The years following that appearance weren’t kind to Charger fans. The team finished with a combined 23-57 record before the arrival of Marty Schottenheimer. In fact, the organization was such a joke that consensus first overall pick Eli Manning decided that he’d rather play in cold, tumultuous New York over sunny San Diego.

Schotteheimer turned around the organization, going 47-33 in his five years with the team. But his own personal Waterloo, his inability to win in the playoffs, did him in. The Chargers wound up firing Schottenheimer despite coming off a 14-2 season. They wound up hiring Norv Turner who took them to the aforementioned Championship game.

This season has been a run of bad luck for the Chargers. They lost star DE Shawne Merriman before the season even started. Steroids are bad for you, mmmkay? Then they began the year 0-2 but should’ve won both games except for a miracle final play TD against the Panthers and a blown call against the Broncos. The team rebounded slightly before playing a couple real stinkers and rolling into Pittsburgh riding a two game losing streak. They’re coming off a bye week, though, so we’ll see if they’re gearing up for a stretch run or it’s just a continuation of what looks to be a lost season.

STEELER DEFENSE vs. CHARGERS OFFENSE

Norv Turner was the Offensive Coordinator for Jimmy Johnson on the great Dallas team of the 90’s. He runs a similar offense here. It’s a long pass pattern offense that loves to use superstar TE Antonio Gates on deep jump balls. WR Vincent Jackson has the Michael Irvin role while Chris Chambers takes the Alvin Harper spot. This is the type of personnel that Turner excels with as he has a great TE, one big possession receiver (Jackson), and a burner that goes deep (Chambers).

People expected a break out year for Rivers after the legendary tough guy performance last year against the Patriots. That being said, he had an 81 QB rating in his last 26 starts going into this season. That’s not horrible but it doesn’t exactly denote elite QB status. Rivers’ problems occur with his footwork, particularly if he’s forced to move a little and throw the ball at the same time. But when he has a clean pocket he has as strong and accurate of an arm as there is in the league.

The cavalry is on its way in the form of one Mister LaMarr Woodley, who will return after his one week sabbatical. That should help the Steelers generate a bit more pressure. The Steelers actually did a good job against Manning last week but he was smart enough to adjust by calling quick-hitting routes and getting rid of the ball quickly on 3 step drops. Rivers is young and prone to mistakes so a lot of this game will ride on how he reacts to the enormous pressure Blitzburgh can enact on a QB.

The story of the team, though, is as Ladainian Thomlinson goes, so go the Chargers. After setting the TD record two seasons back, he had a tough year last year. Through week 12, he had only had two games of 90+ yards rushing. He turned it on for the stretch run, as weeks 13-16 saw him break out for 546 rushing yards on 6.6 yards a carry. Like many heavy duty featured RBs, he gets nicked up a lot and injuries have limited him this year. The team misses Michael Turner, who provided great relief and a nice change of pace. They do have Darren Sproules, a lightning bolt who has had some good games for them this year. Still, no team runs on the Steeler D and I don’t see this week being any different.

Of course, throwing the ball will be a viable option. Two thirds of the Three Amigos will be riding pine nursing various injuries. With both Bryant McFadden (broken arm) and Deshea Townshend (hammy) out, the unfortunately named William Gay will get his first start opposite Cement Hands Ike Taylor. Anthony Madison will likely be the nickel corner although it’s possible newly signed Fernando Bryant could see action. You know times are tough when we’re reduced to playing table scraps from the Jacksonville Jaguars. Rivers has thrown the ball effectively this season and if he can’t complete passes against this patchwork secondary, he really does deserve to be called Marmalade.

STEELER OFFENSE vs. CHARGERS DEFENSE

San Diego runs a 3-4 but they use a 1 gap scheme instead of the standard 2 gap schemes that most 3-4 teams use. Ted Cottrell was their D-Coordinator, a career 4-3 Cover 2 guy, he proved a poor fit as the once mighty SD Defense struggled out of the gate. He’s been replaced by Ron Rivera, who is less tentative than Cottrell and more eager to blitz and stunt than simply drop their athletic LBs back in pass coverage.

If Luis Castillo can stay healthy, he’s a potential All Pro defensive end. He has a tenacious motor and great strength. Igor Olshansky is a pure power guy that stops the run, but doesn’t do a whole lot in rushing the passer. Jamaal Williams is still good, but noticeably lost a step last season. He’s about 350 pounds and is usually a factor rushing the passer which is unique for a guy his size.

I just wrote a lengthy article dissecting the Steelers offensive woes so I’m not going to belabor the subject. The P-G alleges that Pothole Willie Parker is FINALLY going to grace us with his presence this Sunday. I have to say, he picked a great team to return against. If his shoulder or knee is still gimpy, the Charger D will definitely give him a few love taps to test it. There probably won’t be many long gainers but I still hope we return to the grinding running attack that’s been our hallmark utilizing a two-headed monster of FWP and M Squared (Mewelde Moore).

QB Ben Roethlisberger finally lowered himself to practice like some Arena Football scab so we’ll see if actually taking reps and working with your wideouts enables one to play better. The Charger defense will be coming after him so if any of his numerous injuries aren’t bugging him now, chances are they will by halftime. The bad news is he’s facing a pretty good pass rush, the good news is SD has been vulnerable to the pass all season. They’ve had several major lapses in coverage so chances are plays will be there to be made. The only questions are can Ben make these plays and if he doesn’t, what will be his latest excuse for not doing so? Promises to play better and taking all the heat for losing a game are both admirable but there’s an old saying about talk and the fact it’s relatively cheap even in these poor economic times. Time to step up, big guy.

San Diego has been one of the great mysteries of the 2008 season. Going into the year, they were one of the odds on favorites to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. They stumbled out of the blocks and have yet to gain their stride. Then again, last year they were 5-5 at the mid-way point and had crowds chanting “Marty” before they turned everything around. Of course, this required an easy schedule and an incredibly weak division to do it.

On the flip side, the Steelers are 1-2 in their past three games and after playing twice over the next 5 days they begin a stretch where they play four games against teams with a combined record of 38-10. If this team is truly a playoff team, never mind a championship contender, we’re all about to find out very very soon.

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