Last night was, in my opinion, the greatest UFC card in the company’s history. I have been following the UFC since 1997, and at this point it might be my favorite brand of sport (apologies, NBA, NFL, but it’s true). More on that in a moment. There’s so much to touch upon that I thought I’d do one of my “things” posts (50 Things About Inception being my other most recent) and just offer up rapid-fire musings about last night’s epic event, starting and ending with the most two important points (No. 16 is also very important for all of you who are unnecessarily throwing around the L words — lazy and lucky) . But before we get started, who says white boys aren’t athletic?

1. Before last night, Anderson Silva had never really been tested inside the Octagon. He had grown complacent and put forth a trio of lackluster title defenses. Pair that with the fact he doesn’t speak English, or much anyway, and it seemed many fans had grown tired of the pound-for-pound champ. Sure, piss-poor previous matchmaking is partially to be blamed, but part of being a true champion is putting on great fights and finishing all comers, regardless of their particular skillset. Both Dana White and UFC fans demanded a result worthy of a fighter who’s been labeled the P4P best. Enter Chael Sonnen, a tailor-made opponent.

With broken ribs (video here, in English), the weight of the world on his shoulders and the weight of Sonnen suffocating him for just shy of five rounds, the champion was facing something he had never encountered in the UFC before — adversity. The 211 shots he ate in the first three rounds were more than he had absorbed in his entire UFC career. He had probably lost one round as a UFC fighter in his 11 previous fights and here he dropped the first four rounds. In MMA, all champions eventually have off nights, get caught and lose. It happened to GSP against Matt Serra. It happened to Fedor Emelianenko this summer. It happened to B.J. Penn last spring. This was Anderson Silva’s time to get caught and lose.

Except Silva’s no normal champion — he’s the greatest MMA fighter who’s ever lived. We already knew he had Roy Jones Jr.’s boxing skills. We already knew that he had the feet, knees and movement of one Bruce Lee. We already knew that he had a granite chin. We already knew that he had great conditioning. We already knew that we was a world-class athlete. We already knew that his Nogueira BJJ black belt definitely didn’t come out of a Happy Meal. But what we learned last night was that Silva also has the heart of a champion. No champion has ever taken a beating like that in a title fight and been able to find a path to victory.

Silva’s record-setting eighth straight title defense told us more about him than his previous seven. There’s a lot of soul beneath all of that style. It might take Patrick Bateman, a tarp and an axe to take that belt away from him.

2. The UFC won big last night. I honestly think there is a positive narrative for every fighter on the main card except for Ricardo Almeida. Dana White has to have a sh**-eating grin on his face, especially when rumor has it that the PPV buys annihilated expectations. The winners…

3. Some people might disagree, but Silva was the big winner. He looked human and humble, the Abu Dhabi nightmare a distant nightmare. This was a legend-building win that endured him to fans. For a guy who usually plays Apollo Creed (and fought a Rocky type fighter), he pulled off one of the all-time Rocky moments in sports. Greatest comeback in MMA title fight history? Absolutely. And one of the best in combat sports history.

4. Sonnen, despite the loss, was still a huge winner. I’m not sure how great he is, but he’s a great wrestler. Probably the best in MMA. He’s also at worst the second best middleweight and I know he could do some serious, serious damage at 205. Maybe last night was a bit fluky, and in the end we’ll see it like when Chuck Wepner went the distance with Ali, but with that performance paired with his unparalleled gift of gab he’s hear to stay. I’m not sure there’s another fighter who will ever bring that level of fearlessness to a fight with Silva.

5. Junio dos Santos. Cigano learned a lot about himself and the sport, and got toughened up in the process. Does he have the all-around skills and size to become to the Heavyweight champ? Probably not, but it looks like we’re going to find out anyway.

6. Big Country. I agree with Joe Rogan; dude needs to drop 30 pounds. You could see that it was just heart and grit that were carrying him through that fight. The good news for Country is that if he drops the weight I think this loss might get chalked up to conditioning, even though he was clearly overmatched. I think Dos Santos just started hitting him in the gut after a while because that “region” was so much softer than his cast iron skull. The Mullet can take a punch.

7. Matt Hughes. I can honestly see him getting another title shot down the line. I can tell you this right now; Jake Shields and Jon Fitch are both ahead of him on the contenders list, but he’s more entertaining and a better draw than either. He’s also still got it, and this is coming from someone who is not a fan at all. But take the damn Gracie Killer moniker already, c’mon.

8. Jon Fitch. Can his honeymoon last like eight years, because nobody wants to see this guy fight for a title again? He beat an anemic, gaunt Thiago Alves in super safe fashion. GSP is not impressed. That being said, he’s won 22 of 23 fights and certainly can make the claim that he’s the rightful No. 1 contender once again. Plus, there’s no way he can beat GSP, so he wouldn’t threaten a GSP-Silva superfight.

9. Speaking of Alves, you can totally spin his loss and basically his whole time at 170. He’s been dropping too much weight. Maybe he can be at 185 what Wanderlei Silva once was at 205? They are similar fighters with similar builds.

10. Clay Guida was a big winner last night as well. Rafael dos Anjos had him in some trouble in the first round, but the Carpenter kept pushing at a frenetic pace, broke the Brazillian’s jaw and force him to quit due to the injury. You know how the villain in The Incredibles is the grown-up version of that kid who tried to be a mini-Mr. Incredible? I think Guida did that with the Ultimate Warrior as a kid.

11. If Rafael dos Anjos doesn’t break his jaw, he’s in that fight. He still has a very promising career ahead of him. After all, he’s only 25.

12. Stefan Struve must like getting lit up and then coming from behind. Man, he’s a fun guy to watch fight, though. I think his 6-foot-11 frame just ensures that fights are going to be wild and unconventional. What was up with his celebration after the fight? That had to be the goofiest thing I have ever seen. It looked like Leo running around in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Regardless, thoroughly enjoyed his Ray Liotta pistol-whip beatdown. You also have to check out his NuttyProfessoresque swollen lip…

13. Even Christian Morecraft — who looked like Struve’s shorter, fatter neo-Nazi brother — likely impressed Dana White and Co. with the beating he handed Struve in the first round. He got coldcocked in the second round, but I expect we’ll see him again.

14. Silva walked out with none other than Steven Seagal last night, who has been helping him train apparently. Fedor eat your heart out.

15. Silva also came out wearing a traditional BJJ gi, something we had never seen him do in the Octagon, after Chael insulted the Nogueira’s instruction. When you factor in the fact that he subbed Sonnen using BJJ, the whole night must’ve really been special for the Black House team. You can tell Sonnen’s comments about his instructors and team really bothered Silva, because he held that sub for a long time (partially because Sonnen was trying to weasel his way out of that tap, too). The message was sent: Nog BJJ is no joke.

16. When I rewatched the fight, I noticed something nobody else has: with 2:12 left in the fifth round, Silva hurt Sonnen just enough with a punch from his back to set up the triangle sub. Bloggers, columnists and fans alike have contended that Sonnen got careless or lazy, and Silva got lucky, but let’s give Silva his proper due. It is clear that he hit the challenger so hard that Sonnen was at least a tad bit off. He started covering up, flinching, and looked dizzy and desperate not to get hit with another one of those shots. With his focus turned elsewhere, the Spider had finally found the sliver of time needed to submit his prey. It took about 23 minutes and the champ being on the receiving end of about 300 blows, but sat back like Kasparov, eventually figured his opponent out, and before his opponent even knew he was in trouble — BOOM! — checkmate.

Silva also hurt Sonnen more than people realize in the fourth with a standing elbow that dropped him. In fact, if A.S. hadn’t of gone for a mount and stood back up instead, I thought he had an excellent chance to try and finish the challenger. He also hurt Sonnen again with a short elbow from beneath that opened up a nasty gash later in the fourth round. After finally getting a taste of the Spider’s power, it appears Sonnen was both impaired and tentative enough to allow the Middleweight king to pull off the miracle triangle. Sonnen even described the moment as a “blur” in the post-fight press conference. Again, let’s give credit where credit is deserved. Chael Sonnen might be the toughest, most motivated title challenger this sport has ever seen, and Silva took a god damn beatdown from him, but…Silva won that fight. Sonnen fought off submissions all night long, but eventually the champ’s will and skill proved to be too much.

17. Speaking of Sonnen’s toughness, did he ever think that out of all the possible things Silva could prove to be that he’d prove to be as tough as him? On the flip side, did Silva ever think that Sonnen would be able to win the stand-up war? That Sonnen’s punches would actually sting? Stuff like this is why this is the most amazing sport in the world. Just when you think you have the whole MMA landscape pegged, it flips you on your head.

18. What happened to Silva in the first has me confused. I have a number of theories, and none are that he suddenly got old. He was dancing around like Flash Gordon just this April and made Forrest Griffin look silly with his headwork and footwork a year ago. My first theory is that Silva just didn’t respect Sonnen’s power and got caught. He might have even been taunting the challenger to test his chin, which he’s done in the past. Luckily, he has a good chin, because I think Sonnen’s hands have come further along then we give him credit for. Guys named Franklin, Griffin and Henderson couldn’t stand with Silva like that. My second theory is that the combination of him worrying about his ribs, which were broken, and the takedowns caused him to have his hands down. My third theory is that everybody respects Silva so much that they let him have that “feeling out” period instead of coming right at him, but Sonnen went kamikaze and disrupted the Spider’s whole method. It was a brilliant game plan that took balls, courage and phenomenal wrestling, and MMA’s “Most Interesting Man” executed the strategy beautifully. I think a fourth theory, a combination of the above three, is what makes the most sense.

19. Usually I think fight shirts are douchey. But Clay Guida’s are always super cool. Last fight, he wore a headbanger-inspired raglan. This time around, he came out wearing a Grateful Dead-inspired fighter shirt (pictured below). How can you not love that guy?

20. I also think we’ve uncovered the secret behind Guida’s energy. After the first round he had to rip a massive burp because of, rumor has it, too much Red Bull. I don’t think that is the kind of guy who really needs any caffeine before a fight. Or ever, actually.

21. Takanori Gomi vs. Clay Guida. Dana, Joe Silva, sign that fight. The fans will absolutely go apesh** if you do. It would be an absolute war.

22. Joe Rogan needs to calm down a little bit, have more poise and stop being such a cheerleader during this big, shocking main events. Just like how he oversold the trouble Lyoto Machida was in the first fight against Shogun Rua, he really did Anderson Silva a disservice last night. There was one time he even had to correct himself. The fight was never close to being stopped on Silva’s behalf. Both Silva and referee Josh Rosenthal were in complete control at all times. Was Silva getting his ass absolutely handed to him for much of the fight? Yes, but I think those punches caught him off guard more than they really hurt him (although that first one could have left him fuzzy, but I doubt it). Also, to suggest that Silva would lose his confidence during that first round was asinine. This is the best fighter in the world, dude! To suggest that he was frustrated made sense, but he never even showed frustration (or that he was seriously hurt or even badly winded). He came out at the start of every round like an assassin, trying to take Sonnen out on his feet. Once things went to the mat, he stayed calm, protected himself, and once he couldn’t force a stand-up he looked for elbows, punches and submission openings. It took him a while to get this going because, honestly, it took him about 2-3 rounds to start figuring Sonnen out, but figure him out he did.

The only time Silva indicated that he was ever badly hurt was when he was holding his ribs after round one. The fight was never close to being stopped on his behalf. I know both Joe and Mike Goldberg were as shocked as the rest of us that Silva is indeed not invincible, but it is their job to be more poised than anybody else watching the fight. To let us know what is really happening. Hell, I could go to a local sports bar and recruit a half-dozen guys who could get on TV and scream and get excited like that. Try watching the fight again with the sound off and even though things still look very bad for the Spider, you’ll never feel like he is completely out of the fight or as if it is about to be stopped.

23. The U-S-A, U-S-A chant is retarded. This is not the Olympics. Anderson Silva is not Drago or the Iron Shiek or, better yet, a terrorist. I’m all for having love and respect for our country, but solely rooting for a guy just because of the country he is from in such a global sport is retarded. Also, why do we never hear this chant during GSP’s or Fedor’s fights? I’ve honestly always felt that chant was racially motivated, so I’m not a fan of it at all.

24. I loved that James Toney was in the crowd so he could see first hand why MMA is the greatest combat sport in the world. Boxing could never put together a card like that. I grew up loving boxing, but the sport is dead. Don King should be serving multiple life terms for mass genocide. Another thing about Toney, his interview was pretty much incomprehensible. Mush. Mouth. I think the “lights” are starting to go “out” in his brain. I can guarantee that Couture vs. Toney won’t be another Mercer vs. Sylvia.

25. Silva vs. Sonnen II: The Rematch. Money talks, and because that I don’t think Dana will walk. There was that joke viral video campaign heading into UFC 117 about Sonnen being the World’s most interesting man. Well, this rematch would be the MMA world’ most interesting fight. Word is that this PPV did around a million buys. That absolutely annihilated other Silva PPVs and approaches good GSP-Lesnar numbers. I’m a Silva fan, but he doesn’t sell fights. With Sonnen, he doesn’t need to. Dana just found his Rumble in the Jungle, except Silva has Ali’s skills and a young Foreman’s mute button, while Sonnen talks like Cassius and has the tools to punish the champ like George did. Hell, even though it wasn’t intentional Silva rope-a-doped Sonnen last night.

This is the UFC’s shot to put on an epic fight that’ll be hyped up on Sports Center like nothing the MMA world has ever seen. Have it in Brazil. The Riot in Rio. The Spider versus the arch nemesis who’s been hunting him down for years — Chael “The Exterminator” Sonnen. Sonnen will want his title shot, the money and an opportunity to stretch his 15 minutes of fame into something permanent. Silva will want redemption and to prove that he is without a doubt the better man. The card would probably shatter all UFC PPV buy records. Most importantly, if Silva let’s those ribs heal, works on his takedown defense and gets less cocky about his striking, I don’t think there is anyway he loses. Silva defeating Sonnen for a second time would set up a GSP superfight nicely.

Forget Vitor Belfort. Who knows what he has left in the tank, or if he can even fight at 185. What the fans want is Silva vs. Sonnen II: The Riot in Rio. The Spider vs. The Exterminator. If Sonnen repeats last night’s formula and actually manages to finish Silva (easier said than done, but obviously possible), you get a rubber match. If Silva takes him out once again, he cements his legacy as the greatest middleweight who ever lived and the fans get what they really want — a GSP vs. Silva superfight.

Chris Tucker hasn’t made a good movie since the last good NBA Slam Dunk Contest, and judging by the expression on his face during tonight’s contest the tickets to this crapfest left him broke once and for all. I’m surprised he didn’t stand over a woozy NBA commish David Stern and snicker, “you got knocked the f*** out.” Just an embarrassing spectacle all the way around. His face says it all…

He’s probably gonna make his son take back those band-aids. Look at his kid’s face — he knows it, too. “But, dad, I just got these band-aids!” Wow. I think he just listed Jackie Chan on eBay.

Danica Patrick, the word’s hottest race car driver, was just involved in a pile-up. No, not that kind of pile-up — you’ve been watching too many Go Daddy commercials. While racing in the Nationwide Series race at Daytona International Speedway — in many ways her first real big stock car race — Patrick was involved in a 12-car wreck. It wasn’t her fault, but that’s the way this one will end for D.P. Check it out…

Does anybody even want to fight Anderson Silva? That is the question UFC head honcho Dana White, matchmaker Joe Silva and the rest of us are left to ponder after Vitor Belfort pulled out of a UFC 112 match with Silva. Belfort is citing a shoulder injury as the reason, but White is openly questioning how much the Phenom wanted the fight in the first place. This after Silva humiliated fan favorite and former champ Forrest Griffin in his last fight. The fight before that? Thales Leites flopped around the ground scared for five rounds, and infuriated White to such a degree he received a pink slip. Leites wanted no piece of the Spider.

All of the fighters who would be at least somewhat legitimate tests for MMA’s best pound-for-pound fighter — GSP, Rampage Jackson, Rashad Evans and Shogun Rua — have already been signed to big upcoming fights. Chael Sonnen? If he thinks he can hang with Silva then he is more delusional than his friends over at FOX News. The UFC needs to forget about that joker. The winner of Michael Bisping vs. Wanderlei Silva? Six years wouldn’t get these guys ready for Anderson, let alone six weeks. And that’s if one of them escapes the bout unscathed. James Toney or Roy Jones? Please. A grizzly bear? A gauntlet of fighters? The Wolfman?

There is only one fighter that could save this card — Randy Couture. Randy has always prided himself on taking all challengers. This would be his ultimate challenge. Granted, going from a washed-up Coleman to Silva is like going on a date with the frumpy girl next door as a warm-up for Megan Fox, but the Natural would be game. And he would have nothing to lose. If he took a beating, hey, he lost to the best in the world on short notice. He’d also be more prepared for anyone at 205. Plus, if he can recover from a Brock Lesnar beating, he can recover from a Silva one. If he won, he’d be ready to retire as the greatest MMA fighter who ever lived. He’d walk away a god. Hell, even if he hung around for a while with Silva it would add to his legend. This would be the real life version of Rocky Balboa.

This fight would also be good for Silva. Despite being possibly the most entertaining athlete alive, he is barely a top-10 UFC PPV draw. Are we tuning in to see a guy speak English, or to see a guy whip some ass? People should just think of him as that unbelievable foreign film they love so much. He’s the human version of City of God. But I digress. Silva needs to fight opponents with bigger names than him and keep trouncing them in highlight-reel fashion. That’s the only way he is going to be the biggest name in the sport. There’s no bigger name than Couture in MMA history. Even with a tape-delay (the fight takes place in the Middle East), Couture would likely double PPV buys.

Silva has also wanted to test himself against either a boxer or a much bigger man. He’s so good he’s bored. He either dismantles opponents instantly or they refuse to engage with him. Couture has spent a lot of his career two weight classes above where Anderson fights, so this match-up fights the “much bigger man” bill. Let’s let the Spider get some of this stuff out of his system. He will likely never fight a boxer, Lesnar or Fedor, so this is the best way to accomplish that.

This match-up would also set up a superfight down the road. If Shogun Rua defeats Silva’s BFF Lyoto Machida, then a Silva vs. Shogun revenge match gets made. If Machida wins, Silva fights either the winner of Rampage vs. Rashad, the winner of Chuck vs. Tito, or a newly inked Gegard Mousasi. Silva could end up as not only the sport’s best all-time fighter but also as one of the best athletes ever. But that’s not gonna happen if they ever go back to feeding him tomato cans labeled as up-and-comers like Leites and Patrick Cote. Michael Jordan didn’t become Michael Jordan by playing the Clippers 82 games a year. The Couture fight would set up an even bigger fight for late this summer, and the superfight we all salivate over on the big New Year’s Card — a duel with GSP.

Dana, Joe Silva, please make this fight happen. It would be great for Anderson Silva. It would be great for Randy Couture. It would be great for us fans. Most of all, it would be great for the sport and the UFC.

This Strikeforce: Miami card just got the highlight of this early year. Just when Robbie Lawler seemed like he was all but done, he damn near knocked Melvin Manhoef’s head off. Showtime wouldn’t even show the replay for a few minutes because they were unsure just how badly Manhoef was hurt. I thought he was dead. You gotta see this.

Those of us who love good ol’ fashion sports columns are big fans of sportswriter Wright Thompson. Those of us with a pulse are inspired by New Orlean’s ability to rebuild itself after Katrina all but wiped the city out. So when Thompson narrates a video chronicling the Big Easy’s resurgence and how the Super Bowl-bound Saints played a huge part in that process, you know the result is going to be something epic. This clip has to be one of my favorite YouTube videos ever. Unless you are a die-hard Colts fan, I don’t know how you could watch this jazzy redemption tale and not root for the Saints in the Big Game. Enjoy (via Fanhouse via SB Nation).

It’s only the first sentence and I already know what most of you are thinking. You looked at the title and said, here’s some Favre apologist who’s going to rattle off a laundry list of excuses for last night’s loss to the Saints. Well, you’re wrong.

First off, I’m no Favre apologist. I’m anything but that after his crapfest down in Carolina cost me a fantasy football championship. Second, there’s no need to make excuses for him. Favre played his guts out. He was brilliant for 90 percent of the game. He threw for over 300 yards.  He was better than Drew Brees all night long.  His team getting KO’ed out of the playoffs was anything but his fault. Then again, if you missed the game and relied solely on the interwebs for the scoop, you’d come away thinking Favre threw 16 picks, deferred after winning the coin flip in OT and stole charity money intended for Haiti.

Hey, I’m glad New Orleans won. That city has long deserved something wonderful like this. As I’m typing this, I hope the French Quarter sees more boobs and beads than you can find on all the Girls Gone Wild DVDs combined. Big, BIG congrats to Who Dat Nation. I hope your Saints win it all…and, what the hell, that Kim Kardashian wins her bet and gets married to Reggie Bush.

But what the eff is it with all the Favre bashing? Sure, back in August I was right there with you. Hang it up, old man, we’re sick of the soap opera. But we were wrong. We were wrong.  That old man can still play and had every right to come back and give it one more shot. When I realized that he was back and better than ever, I decided the comeback was more than worth all the wishy-washy drama. Looks like I was just about the only one, though. Well, other than ESPN, John Madden and Peter King.

During the game, Favre haters were binge-drinking Haterade on Twitter. Sports bloggers everywhere were furiously typing out their “Favre Screws Up Again” posts before Garrett Hartley even began warming up for his game-winning kick. After the game on the NFL Network, Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin were bagging on Mooch and Rich Eisen for being Brett lovers. Not only was Favre taking shots on the field, he was a punching bag off of it as well.

Seriously, what did the guy ever do to deserve so much hate? Play well for 20 years? Do these haters hate Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as well? What about Mario Lemieux? Andre Agassi? George Forman? Hell, Jack Nicholson’s been a great actor for over five decades now and has surely considered retirement. We also see him at every awards show and Lakers game. See, he’s overexposed, too! By this logic, we should hate him more than twice as much as we do Favre.

We should be grateful that we have so much coverage of one of the greatest sports figures of all time. When I think back and recall my grandpa telling me how he wished he had more coverage of guys like Babe Ruth, Jesse Owens and Johnny Unitas, I know I feel lucky. When I tell my grandchildren about the sports legends of my lifetime, there won’t be so many blank spots.

What about giving up some respect for a 40-year-old man who goes out there and lets faster, bigger, stronger 25 year olds kick the everloving shit out of him? I’m only 31, and most days I’m on the fence about going to the gym. Sure, their are some big dudes there, but they aren’t knocking me on my ass every time I don’t get my set of 10 reps off in time. There’s never been a tougher athlete in the history of pro sports. I will never understand how at 40 he took the shots he did last night and kept on playing. I will also never understand how fans of the game could witness that and not appreciate the feat.

If you hate Favre, go ahead and keep hating him. That’s fine. But don’t blame him for this loss. He wasn’t the one who had a fumble hat trick. Hell, his teammates had about as many fumbles as there are Harry Potter books. Adrian Peterson’s hands were so bad last night, I thought he switched pairs with Braylon Edwards d for the week. The only thing that was All Day was his case of the dropsies. Add in the mind-boggling 12-men-in-the-huddle penalty with 19 seconds left, questionable refereeing and Cedric Grffin’s costly late-game injury, and it’s easy to see how this game got away from the Vikes.

Speaking of that 12-men-in-the-huddle penalty, was that really Favre’s fault? Or were the coaching staff and the players coming in and out of the game at fault? And after that penalty was assessed, Favre had to throw. It was 3-and-15, he couldn’t really run on that gimpy ankle and there was no way kicker Ryan Long-in-the-tooth-well was going to make a 56-yarder on the road with Who Dat Nation all up in his ear. Favre took a chance knowing the worst-case scenario was an interception that would send the game to overtime. Considering the way the Purple People Eaters were playing on defense, it was the right move.

Back in 1994, when an aging Joe Montana failed to win the AFC Championship and take my Chiefs to the Super Bowl, the Arrowhead faithful didn’t blame him. He had gotten us closer to the Big Game than any quarterback had in 25 years. Favre should be treated the same way. Instead of unfairly piling all the blame on Favre for this loss, we should be celebrating his remarkable performance in what could have been his last game. After all, a 40-year-old quarterback damn near overcame an injury, bad officiating in OT, the 13-3 Saints in a jam-packed Superdome and a fumbling epidemic to lead the Minnesota Vikings to their first Super Bowl in over 30 years.

If this game does end up being Favre’s last game, I think it’s one he and all of his fans can be damn proud of. Here’s hoping he comes back for one more year, if only just to see all the haters squirm while he does his thing.

A few weeks ago, New Orleans Saints kicker Garrett Hartley was the goat. Now, he is the hero who finally sent the Saints to the Super Bowl. The young kicker nailed a 40-yard field goal that I think most people expected him to shank. Especially considering the way kickers have choked this postseason. Instead, Hartley came up clutch as his kick split the uprights. A kicker of all players (with some help from the refs and 139 Vikings’ turnovers) just kicked off one of the biggest parties in New Orleans history. Good for N’walins! Let all the Archie-Peyton-Brees mania, and the Favre comeback talk, commence.

Here’s the clutch game-winning “Big Easy Boot” from Hartley…

It’s a done deal; Lebron isn’t dunking in this year’s NBA Slam Dunk Contest. Or is he? His “manager,” Shaquille O’Neal, says he won’t let LeBron dunk in the contest unless the following criteria is met: A.) A huge prize with half the money going to Haiti; B.) Kobe Bryant enters; C.) Vince Carter enters; and D.) Another big name enters. Who’d you have in mind, Shaq, Dominique Wilkins?

It’s been 13 years since Kobe Bryant won the Slam Dunk Contest. It’s even been a decade since Vince outdueled Steve Francis and Tracy McGrady. The Black Mamba is 31. Air Canada is 32. What Shaq is trying to do here is as easy to see as Lady Gaga’s dick. Instead of LeBron losing to a young buck like Shannon Brown — a player who has a ton of spring and no notoriety — he wants to match the “King” against the bigger names and older legs of KB24 and Vinsanity. We’re on to you, Big Fella.

In honor of Shaq’s failed attempt at rigging LeBron James a Slam Dunk Contest coronation, here are 10 other past-their-prime dunkers who could fill that “another big name” spot.

10. Spud Webb (46)

Why get Nate Robinson when you can get the original diminutive dunker?

9. Tim Duncan (33)

With a name like Duncan he’d be perfect. So what if he has a short-stack-of-pancakes vertical.

8. Harold Miner (38)

Shaq could use his Twitter hype machine to convince the masses that he’s still Baby Jordan.

7. Shawn Kemp (40)

I’m sure he can be coaxed out of retirement, as he needs the money for child support.

6. Dominique Wilkins (50)

The human-highlight film surely has one reel left in him before osteoporosis sets in.

5. Isaiah/J.R./Whatever Rider (38)

He recently got waived by the North Texas Fresh, so he’s available. No, that’s no a Mexican food chain.

4. Dr. J (59)

So what if it’s gray? The afro puts fans in the stands. Period.

3. Bob Kurland (86)

It doesn’t get any better than the first person who dunked regularly in games!

2. Michael Jordan (46)

It couldn’t be that hard to instigate Air Jordan’s ego out of retirement, could it be?

1. William Rosenberg (Deceased)

I’m sure Shaq could figure a way to prop the Dunkin’ Donuts founder up Weekend at Bernie’s style.

Drew Brees and the Saints defense are unstoppable. It is official. With over six minutes to play in the second quarter, they have already put up 28 points. The latest touchdown being a video-gamish 44-yard flea-flicker from Pierre Thomas to Drew Brees to Devery Henderson, who hauled in the ball after a nice adjustment. Looks like this game is going to live up to the classic duel between the Cardinals and Packers from last week. Well, at least if the Saints have anything to say about it. At this rate, the Cards will have a tough time keeping up.