The Texas Tech Red Raiders football team isn’t living up to the new standard set by coach Mike Leach. Leach made this clear when he blamed the Raiders’ loss to Texas A&M on the players’ “fat little girlfriends.” He uses the phrase four times in 12 seconds, so obviously he thinks his guys are running around with some fatties. Fat girls in Lubbock? Sounds like the real McCoy to me. Check out the video.

Every year, 99.9 percent of dudes wait until the very last minute to pull off their Halloween costume. If that’s you this year, we’ve got the hook-up. Here are 10 sports-inspired costumes for all you last minute trick or treaters. Oh, and if you can’t scoop a jersey or helmet or prop, get resourceful. Almost any concept can be pulled off with markers, paint, tape, cardboard, etc. Get resourceful. Hey, the cheesier it looks, the funnier the costume will be. Drum roll, please…

1. “I’m In, I’m Out” Brett Favre

I just switched from Spock to this costume when I came up with the idea. I went from “Live Long and Prosper” to “Live Long and Never F***ing Retire.” I like the move. It was wishy-washy, but now I’m sold. Very Favrian.

Here’s how to pull this look off. Get a cheap Favre Vikings jersey, throw it on over a flannel shirt (tucked in, of course — extra douchy) with some Wranglers and a khaki-color Nike cap. Maybe even a prescription medicine bottle that reads “pain pills” full of Tic Tacs (bars) or a football (party) for a prop. If  you really want to go the extra mile, grab some purple socks and some wrist bands and put them on over your clothes. If you are lucky enough to own a Vikes helmet, you can bypass the jersey and just wear that with a t-shirt, thermal and some Wranglers.  The key here is to look confused.

2. Pot Smokin’ Michael Phelps

This one is super easy. A speedo, goggles and a cap (optional), eight makeshift gold medals and a bong. If you are going to the bars, the bong should probably be a fake. If you’re going to a party, f*** it. This is guaranteed to be a huge hit. Whether you want to actually take a hit…well, that’s totally up to you.

3. Scowl-Face Kobe Bryant Mask

This is really pretty easy. As models/Lakers fans Flea and Holly Madison display, all you have to do is throw on a Lakers jersey over some clothes along with the Kobe mask. To make the mask, just print out this Kobe mask .png file on some poster board (FedEx will hook you up) and cut out the eyes. Then throw on a Lakers jersey over your clothes. As effortless as Kobe’s jumper, especially for Lakers fans.

4. Shot-In-The-Leg Plaxico Burress

This one would probably be No. 1 if it didn’t happen almost a year ago. But since there hasn’t been a Halloween since the incident, and since Plax went to jail this calendar year, we had to include this costume. This one is also pretty easy to achieve. Get yourself a Burress Giants jersey if you can fine one. It will be dirt cheap. Then get an old pair of sweatpants, a light one so the blood will show up. Splatter some fake blood on the sweats, sag ‘em a bit, get yourself a prop gun (nothing that looks too real, duh), and you are set. Oh, I almost forgot, you also have to act like an ignorant prick.

5. Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson (aka Bitch Tits and No Tits)

This narrowly edges out Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom for best sports couple costume set. And this is much easier to accomplish than a horse-faced chick with a Kardashian booty and a seven-foot eclectic weirdo that looks like Dhalsim from Street Fighter.

For A-Rod: Yankees jersey, gold chain, lots of hair gel and a scumbag sense of entitlement. If you want to go the extra mile, you can pack a syringe for a prop, or maybe even put “Bitch Tits” or “A-Fraud” on the back of the jersey.

For Kate: Just be blonde and hot, but in a cute way. Make sure you smile a lot. Definitely make sure you don’t have big boobs. Kate is hot, but she’s packing bee stings up top.

6. LeBron James Getting Dunked On

This is a two-man effort. One man needs to wear a Lebron Jersey, the other needs to wear a makeshift Jordan Crawford Xavier jersey. Tape a Nerf basketball bucket to the back of whoever is dressed up as LeBron, and letthe dude in the Xavier jersey continuously jam on him throughout the night. If you have four guys, the other two dudes can be the camera-phone cameraman and the overprotective Nike exec.

7. The Dirty (Mark) Sanchez

The sexual innuendo now becomes a sports punchline as well. Just dress up as Mark Sanchez in a Jets jersey and muddy yourself up. Make sure to curl your hair, bat your eyes and get the black paint under your eyes. Throwing five picks might help, too. Yes, you can use fake dirt. Do not use fecal matter, you sicko! We do not get behind the real Dirty Sanchez here at FanSided.

8. Manny “Roid Rage” Ramirez

The ideal way to do this is with an Ah-nold-style bodysuit, a blue doo-rag and dreds. You can also pull it off by complimenting the doo-rag and dreds with a Dodgers jersey and a shitload of syringes. You also have to use broken English and ham it up. Manny wouldn’t have it any other way.

9. Crybaby Larry Johnson

It’s ironic that L.J. is friends with Jigga, because he’s the NFL’s Kanye West. All you have to do to pull L.J. off is wear either a Chiefs helmet or shirt (preferably a shirt or jersey with No. 27 on it, even written on) and a pair of diapers. If you want to accessorize with ice, trucker hats, pink watches and camo pants, that’s cool, too. But to really pull off L.Jerk, you’ll need to act like the punk. Homophobic slurs, spitting drinks in girl’s faces, pouting on the sideline — all a big part of pulling off this character.

10. Shaquille O’Neal, aka The Big Pig

Shaq is in the news again for wanting to become a deputy officer in Ohio. What is it with this guy and wanting to be a freakin’ cop. Anyway, to be the Big Pig you’ll need to go blackface (unless you’re black…hey, Robert Downey Jr. got away with it), wear stilts, rock a cop uniform and give yourself like 1,000 nicknames. That’s 1,000 per hour. Stuffing a pillow in your shirt might help, too. Bad rapping? Only if you want to really be convincing.

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided Network. Follow him on Twitter here.)

Saturday night is Halloween, so we know what you are doing that night — painting the town blood red in your costume. But what about Friday night? How about a little Halloween pre-drinking party? And what better way to kick off the Halloween festivities than with the Ghostbusters Drinking Game? That’s right — we’ve invented a Ghostbusters Drinking Game. The goal: to get so “busted” you start calling yourself “Vinz Clortho, The Keymaster.” Here are the rules.

Ghostbusters Drinking Game Rules:

1. Take a drink whenever Bill Murray says something ridiculous. Guys drink double. (Examples: “Aim for the flattop!” and “…Dogs and cats living together…”)

2. Take a drink whenever Dan Aykroyd has a dumb look on his face. Whoever is the last person to take a drink has to take two drinks. That’s what you get for sitting there with that same dumb look on your face.

3. Take a drink whenever Harold Ramis has one of his geeky rambling sessions.

4. Whenever Ernie Hudson says token “black” dialogue, say “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” and take a drink.

5. Take a drink whenever Sigourney Weaver rolls her eyes at Bill Murray. Girls drink double.

6. Whenever Rick Moranis yells, repeat what he yells and take a drink.

7. Chug a heaping gulp whenever Slimer appears. The hotel hallways and ballroom count as two separate appearances. If you really want to go all out, make slime (Google “how to make slime”) and slime whoever has the weakest chug.

8. Whenever the phrase “cross the streams” is uttered, cross arms with another player and wrap your drink around, bringing it back and taking a big gulp.

9. The first time the phrase “who ya gonna call?” is heard, the movie must be paused and every player must drunk dial somebody and ask if it’s the Ghostbusters.

10. Whenever the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man appears, all players must chug their entire drink. (Hint: He appears not once, but twice. Think groceries.)

Bonus: Ghostbusters Trivia Challenge. At any time, any player can pause the movie and ask any other player a trivia question. If the players guesses wrong, they drink. If they guess right, the player who asked the question drinks. These drinks are five-count gulps.

Suggested Drinks:

Slimer Margarita – Put one-and-a-half parts tequila, a half part triple sec, one part lime juice, one part Midori liquor. Can either be blended with ice or served on the rocks. Salt is optional.

Slimer Beer - A good light beer and blue food coloring (yellow beer + blue food coloring = green).

Slimer Bomb – One short glass of red bull and Midori mixed, one shot of Jagermeister. Drop the shot in the glass and chug. This is a great shot for each Slimer appearance.

Fantome Black Ghost Beer – A dark belgian beer that scores 93% on ratebeer.com. Hard to find, but if you’re a native New Yorker it shouldn’t be too hard to locate. Coincidence? I think not.

Sigourney Screamer – Cranberry juice, pineapple juice, orange juice, grenadine and Bacardi 151 rum. Mix to taste.

Gozer Worshipper – One part raspberry vodka, one part orange rum, one part Chambord raspberry liqueur, one part orange juice. Meant to look like the sky when Gozer the Gozerian and the rest of the other-worldy spirits, ghouls and ghosts threaten the Big Apple.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all extended our hand for a fist bump or high five only to have the intended recipient not see our offered gesture. Typically, people will just laugh about it and shrug it off. But sometimes, sometimes, something really special happens. That special something is the rejected fist-bump or high-five offerer trying to play it cool and act like they never meant to bump or five in the first place. And sometimes, sometimes, their acting is atrocious. So bad it’s embarrassing.

When Phil Jackson tried to fist-bump an oblivious Kobe Bryant before last night’s game, that was one of those special occasions. When you have 10 NBA rings, do you really need to try and play it cool like that? How much cooler can a coach possibly get? 10 rings, a hot younger wife, boatloads of money and the nickname “Zen Master.” C’mon, P.J. Check it out for yourselves (via Sports by Brooks).

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided Network. Follow him on Twitter here.)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Back in 2006 and 2007, LaDainian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson were the undisputed top two players in fantasy football heading into those seasons. Now, in 2009, L.T. is a first-round bust and L.J. is looking like a prime candidate to relocate to Dumpsville. Both have been crybabies at different junctures, especially Johnson. The two fallen footballers had a chat after last Sunday’s Chargers-Chiefs game. As for how that conversation went, here’s our best guess.

(Adam Best is the senior editor of the FanSided Network. Follow him on Twitter here.)

(Be sure to check out Everything Power Rankings, our badass daily link dump. For more Chiefs coverage, check out our Kansas City Chiefs blog, Arrowhead Addict.)

Update: The Kansas City Star reports that Larry Johnson today called reporters “faggot asses.”

On Monday in the Chiefs locker room, Johnson used another gay slur after saying he wouldn’t speak to reporters.

Johnson, sitting next to second-year running back Jamaal Charles, told reporters that “I’m not talking till Thursday,” his usual day of speaking with reporters.

Then Johnson turned away and whispered.

“Get your faggot ass out of here,” he said.

It’s official; Larry Johnson makes Terrell Owens look like Mister Rogers. Seriously, this guy has to be the biggest asshole on the planet. Also, realize that I’m a die-hard Chiefs fan writing that statement. Just look at some of the tweets Captain Three-Yards-Per-Carry sent out after today’s blowout loss to the Chargers.

First there’s the assault on Chiefs head coach Todd Haley.

First off, you shouldn’t insult ANYBODY when you are dressed like that in the pic on your Twitter profile page. You look like the lovechild of Eddie Vedder and Left Eye.

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Every blue moon, a once-in-a-generation running back graces us with his presence. First it was Jim Brown, combining power and grace in a way that truly wasn’t fair for the 11 men on the other side. Then there was Earl Campbell, who fought off and ran over defenders like they were prison guards trying to escort him to the electric chair. Then there was Sweetness, Walter Payton, a gliding gazelle who packed a surprising amount of power. Next, it was Barry Sanders, who was kinda like trying to catch a fly mid-air — with chopsticks. Now, it’s the Vikings’ Adrian Peterson.

If Eric Dickerson was an Atari, Purple Jesus is the PS3; his style is faster, more effortless, more jaw-dropping and definitely more vicious. This is what we love about football. How many of us have said that there will never be another Jim Brown? Yet, if Brown is the Michael Jordan of running backs, Peterson is the LeBron James. Not only does he possess the best moves and wheels of any current NFL running back, he also possesses unparalleled power. Even big bruisers like Brandon Jacobs and Michael “Burner” Turner don’t run over and stiff-arm defenders like All Day.

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It’s ironic that on a day we were discussing refs getting run over, that a referee straight got shoved down during yet another electric Percy Harvin kick return TD. I don’t know what was more ridiculous; Harvin’s moves, kicker Jeff reed’s pussyfoot tackle attempt or an obvious shove by fullback Jeff “Don’t Call Me Hacksaw” Dugan. Just a ridiculous series of events. Check out the video for yourself.

As if they dont look dorky enough in their Whataburger throwback uniforms, now NFL referees (umpires, to be more specific) are rumored to be getting equipped with helmets for the 2010 season. Alright, alright, there is a legitimate safety issue here. Especially when considering how badly the refs have gotten beat upduring recent seasons. The NFL has grown increasingly concerned for the physical safety of its refs, and for good reason.

Last week during Monday Night Football, umpire Butch Hannah got lit up by Chargers safey Steve Gregory. Earlier this season, umpire Garth DeFelice got assplanted four times in one game. Or Jeff Triplett getting faceplanted by a Bills player during a game last year (Image above, video below). Incidents like this are becoming far too common. Today’s NFL players are freakishly big and fast, so the game has never been more dangerous for refs. According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, the NFL already began taking steps towards such a precaution during owner’s meeting two weeks ago, so it is only a matter of time before we see refs strap on helmets.

Think the NFL is going overboard? Then check out these videos of NFL refs getting treated like Rihanna after pissing off a drunken Chris Brown after the jump.

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The art of MMA judging is subjective. We all know that. But just how subjective is it? During tonight’s UFC 104 Light Heavyweight Championship fight, challenger Mauricio “Shogun” Rua thoroughly dominated champion Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida. Despite his dominance, all three judges scored the fight 48-47 in favor of Machida. I guess MMA judging is more subjective than we thought.

I think just about everyone with a pair of eyes and any MMA knowledge had Shogun winning four of five rounds hands down. I agree that you have to beat the champion to become the champion, but Shogun obviously accomplished that feat. Machida legs and ribs were beaten to a pulp so bad that by round five he just seemed content to cross his fingers and hope for a bailout form the judges. Luckily, the Dragon got his wish.

This fight was such an obvious win for Shogun that announcers Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg were already pumping up Machida’s best buddy Anderson Silva exacting revenge on Shogun in an upcoming superfight. It was like Rocky IV all over again, and Shogun was definitely Ivan Drago. Machida was Apollo Creed, and his title reign was dead — or at least should have been.

This fight was such an obvious win for Shogun that ESPN had a headline published for a Shogun win before the official announcement was even made. Here’s the screenshot (click for full-sized image).

Meanwhile, I’m not a professional lip reader, but it looks like UFC head honcho Dana White says “you won that fight” to Shogun after the announcement. Check it out and judge for yourselves.

It’s also very clear how the fans felt about the decision, as a chorus of boos erupted after Machida was announced the victor. There has to be a rematch here. This has gotta be one of the biggest highway-robbery decisions the sport has ever seen. Lyoto Machida is a great fighter, but tonight he got his first real test and was outclassed throughout the battle by Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. You got screwed, Mauricio — and not by your wife.