Dexter recap: Monkey in a Box


Synopsis: Dexter is torn between fleeing the country with Hannah and Harrison, and taking Saxon out once and for all.

Despite my choice for the Brain Surgeon getting murked last week, I’m still holding out hope that Dr. Vogel will be exposed posthumously for the murdering maniac she is. Admittedly it looks like I’ll have to eat crow on this one, but there’s still one more week left and anything can happen on any given Sunday, right? Oops, I’m mixing metaphors and comparisons earlier than usual this week.

As is often the case when it comes to Dexter something else in the entertainment world demanded my attention and, as per usual with Dexter, got it. Aside from Breaking Bad (Showtime didn’t do any favors to Dexter by airing it directly against it) typically commanding more time and brain cells, and football, the new Drizzy dropped all over the internet like a shitty Miley Cyrus video. As fate would have it, Nothing Was the Same makes for a fairly apt comparison. Of course fate also deigns that this is yet another comparison that brings shame upon Dexter.

NWTS finds Drake doing all the things you would expect Drake to do: lamenting the woes of fame, love, and money, then turning around (literally) singing their praises. It’s an example of someone doing what they do best.

Did someone say doing what you do best? Why yes Dexter, I did. But where Drake maintains the same general level of quality with occasional peaks, Dexter set a very low bar for itself from the start. Then it repeatedly goes under it like a game of limbo. Except it’s like when a drunk dude tries to limbo while balancing a beer on his chest. Everyone knows he won’t make it, so when he ends up drenched in warm backwash brew, giving a “gee-whiz” laugh and look to the crowd, it’s not endearing, only moronic.

With Doc Vogel going to the big psychiatrist’s couch in the sky and all of the other bodies piling up, Dexter is going out guns-blazing. Dexter getting out of dodge is a pretty risky ploy. Of course the lure of going after Saxon for another self-righteous kill and even more self-righteous voiceover is very strong. But Dexter’s not seeing the big picture. Where else can he go with a police department as incompetent? Maybe Vermont, but I don’t know if the “Super Troopers” gang is still running things in their fictional world. Anywhere Dexter goes is bound to have someone that will pick up on the extreme coincidences of Dex and weird murders happening. Or he could move and give up his villainous ways a la Chris Nolan’s Bruce Wayne. But as we’ve covered ad nausea in these recaps, Dexter/Dexter is an old dog that never learned a trick and never will.

With only episode before Dexter joins Dr. Vogel in Belize I can’t even imagine the numbscullery waiting for us next week. Oh wait, yes I can, because Dexter isn’t going to start surprising us now.