Ranking 32 NFL coaches you’d want to have a beer with

In the name of science, we’ve ranked all 32 NFL coaches according to how much we’d like to have a beer with them.

Head coaches in the NFL are judged on a variety of things. Wins and losses. Playoff success. The general disposition of their teams. The ability to communicate effectively with their players. Coaches are heavily scrutinized when things go wrong, and seldom share the spotlight with their players when things go right.

But deep down, all NFL coaches are normal guys. Well, at least some of them are. Guys who like fishing. Guys who enjoy spending time with their families. And most importantly, guys who like going out for a beer.

There are a lot of ways, and a lot of opportunities, to judge the 32 head coaches in the NFL, so why not measure them using something we all have in common: our love of the sweet nectar of the gods. They like beer. We like beer. Everybody likes beer. So why not rank these coaches in order of who we’d most like to have a beer with?

This may not seem easy (and it wasn’t), but in the name of science, it had to be done. Many factors played a role in this ranking, from a coach’s location (because of course none of them would come to us), to his personality, to those burning questions we’ve always wanted to ask him, but never had the platform.

Without further ado, here they are, all 32 NFL head coaches, beginning with those we’d least like to share a beer with and ending with the ones we’d beg for the chance to meet for a few rounds.

Next: Mike Zimmer

Just look at that picture…

Do you really want to have a beer with a guy that is capable of having that look on his face? Granted, Mike Zimmer might just be a little cranky because it’s so cold in Minnesota, but his on-field demeanor doesn’t strike you as that of a man who wants to sit down over a cold brew and shoot the sh*t.

Coach Zimmer doesn’t smile. Does anyone know if he even has teeth? If you need extra evidence the Viking’s head coach is just a downright party pooper, see below. (Skip to 1:53 to see what I’m taking about).

SEE! Rumors abound about the personality of the Peoria, Illinois native, and they aren’t good. When the word around the NFL is that you scowl more than any other head football coach in the country, you can’t be disappointed you’re not first on a list of NFL head coaches I’d like to share a beer with.

Look, the man is a great coach and a terrific leader. But he just doesn’t have the character of a great drinking buddy — you know, someone with more personality than a blade of grass. Couple that with my supreme lack of intent to go to Minneapolis any time soon, and you’ve got No. 32 on my countdown.

Next: Marvin Lewis

Marvin Ronald Lewis, currently the second longest serving coach in the NFL, was born in a suburb of Pittsburgh on Sept. 23, 1958. This seems like a good place to start. Anyone born in or around Pittsburgh is going to have a steely disposition (see what I did there?), and Marvin Lewis is no different. His on-field presence is downright scary, and his post-game press conferences are notable for their lack of humor and wit.

Lewis is a good coach, maybe even great depending on who you’re talking to, yet I can’t help but think of his horrible playoff record of 0-7. Picture this: you’re out for a drink with coach Lewis. You’re on round three and he starts pouring his heart out to you because he can’t even buy a playoff win.

Unless you’re a Bengals, Bills or Browns fan, you’ve got no sympathy for the guy, so you’re stuck there pretending to feel bad while in the back of your mind hoping he gets into another playoff game so your team can basically get a bye. That is, if your team is in the AFC.

I’m sure Marvin Lewis is a wealth of football knowledge, and he seems like an overall nice fellow, but I can’t picture myself sitting down with him over a pint. Or maybe I can, and that’s why he sits at No. 31.

Next: Jeff Fisher

Jeff Fisher is a cerebral guy, as evidenced by his Pac-10 All-Academic selection with the USC Trojans in 1980. Unfortunately for Fisher, his intellect hasn’t translated into wins for the now Los Angeles Rams. The team has four consecutive losing seasons under the California native, and hasn’t been a threat since Kurt Warner starred for “The Greatest Show on Turf.”

Fisher hasn’t led a team to the playoffs since 2009, when his Tennessee Titans were bounced in the divisional round. Perhaps returning to LA will prove to be just the thing to get Fisher and the Rams going. After all, it is his hometown, and the hometown of the Rams.

However, the only thing appealing to me about the thought of getting a beer with Fisher is the fact we’d grab it in Los Angeles. I went to Legoland as a kid and had a great time. Plus there is a Star Wars style Cantina opening in LA in just a few days, so that would be a great spot. But nothing about Fisher screams, “Hey man, let’s grab a beer!”

Even his own mother reprimanded his behavior on an episode of Hard Knocks. Fisher seems like the slick, greasy uncle you try to avoid at all costs at the family reunion. Grumpy and greasy is no way to go through life, and it’s not a combination I look for in a drinking companion.

Next: Jim Caldwell

I am astounded that Jim Caldwell is a head coach in the NFL. He managed to take the Indianapolis Colts from 14-2 to 2-14 in just three seasons. He managed only one winning season as head coach of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons, and last season with the Detroit Lions he posted a 7-9 record.

That said, Caldwell is a terrific assistant coach, as evidenced by the 34 points his Baltimore Raven’s offense put up against Jim Harbaugh’s stingy San Francisco 49ers defense in Super Bowl XLVII.

Caldwell strikes me as someone who rode Tony Dungy’s coattails for years as his assistant, and then just so happened to land a gig he wasn’t qualified for. Maybe that’s what irks me about him, so he sits here at No. 29. I also have no interest in going to Detroit to have a pint with the man. He just doesn’t seem like a pleasant guy.

His erratic coaching performances make me think his behavior might also be erratic, which isn’t necessarily what you want in a drinking buddy. Interesting to watch … maybe. Fun to be around … not so much.

Next: Dan Quinn

Dan Quinn is a terrifying, juggernaut of a man. His no-nonsense attitude has fit well with the NFL so far. Quinn started his coaching career as a defensive line coach at William and Mary, a small Division I FCS school. It didn’t take long for him to move into the NFL ranks, however, as he became the San Francisco 49ers’ defensive quality control coach in 2001.

Coach Quinn moved quickly through the NFL ranks as well, and is now the head honcho at the Atlanta Falcons. Atlanta is hot, it’s sticky, and it doesn’t really seem like the best place in the world to grab a cold one.

Quinn is also a native of New Jersey, which, coupled with his already intense demeanor, strikes me as a terrible combination to have in a drinking buddy. I can see it now. Coach Quinn is a few pints deep and starts yelling at everyone in the bar.

The adrenaline and masculinity flowing through the air and into his nostrils make you the perfect target. He promptly lifts you in the air and drops you over his knee, WWE style. I mean, the guy does look strikingly similar to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Next: Dirk Koetter

There are only two reasons Dirk Koetter isn’t last on this list: (1) I’d really like to have a beer in Tampa Bay and (2) I’m genuinely interested in what he thinks about quarterback Jameis “Lobster Legs” Winston. But Koetter also ruined a perfectly good hypothetical opportunity to share a brew with Lovie Smith.

Smith was fired because of the apparently great relationship between Koetter and Winston, which, weirdly, is one of the reasons getting a beer with Koetter wouldn’t be so bad. The opportunity to get the low down on one of the most polarizing and controversial college athletes of all time would be a pretty special.

But I still can’t help but be flabbergasted by the treatment of Smith, and Koetter’s subsequent rise to the head coaching position. Smith was forced out of Tampa Bay as gracefully as a large man holds in a fart, and part of me can’t help but think Koetter knew it was coming as well, so he doesn’t earn any sympathy from my conscience.

But Tampa Bay would be a pretty nice place to kick back, relax and enjoy a cold one.

Next: Jack Del Rio

Jack Del Rio was an athletic freak growing up. He was drafted in the 22nd round by the Toronto Blue Jays coming out of high school. He turned down the offer and went on to be a two-sport athlete at USC, starring in both football and baseball.

He was a four-year starter on the Trojans football team, amassing 340 tackles including 58 tackles for loss. Del Rio was a two-year starter on the Trojans baseball team, and hit a very respectable .340 while playing alongside MLB greats like Mark McGwire and Randy Johnson.

So why is such an accomplished man not higher up on my list?

First off, he strikes me as someone who loves to talk about himself and his previous accomplishments. I can hear it now: “You know, I used to play ball with McGwire back in the day, but I didn’t need to be juiced up to be good. I could have been a stud … ”

Couple that with the fact Del Rio often dons a suit on the sidelines, which makes me assume he’s a little uptight, and you’ve got No. 26 on the countdown.

Next: Mike Mularkey

Mike Mularkey’s low ranking here is mainly do to his lack of success. The man has an abysmal 18-39 as a head coach in the NFL, and he wasn’t much better as an athlete (although he did make it to the NFL, so there’s that).

I’m not entirely sure Mularkey knows what he’s doing in the NFL. He seems like a decent enough guy, but also looks incredibly confused when his team takes the field on Sundays. I’d rather sit down and tell him how to use Marcus Mariota (as would most of the nation) than have a beer with him.

The only real saving grace here is Mularkey’s location, and the possibility he is completely apathetic about his career in the NFL — a nice refresher after Del Rio gets done patting himself on the back. Nashville is a great place, full of life and music, kinda like a cleaner New Orleans, so I wouldn’t mind cracking open a bottle of suds there.

Nashville, yes. Mularkey, no.

Next: Ben McAdoo

Ben McAdoo has pulled off quite a stunning transformation thanks to some major weight loss, so I’m not sure he’d want to sit down over “empty calories.” I’d order a beer and he’d follow with: “Just a glass of water please. Oh wait, I’ll splurge and get a lemon wedge too!”

The Pennsylvania native is heading into his first season as the head coach of the New York Giants, replacing Tom Coughlin. He is credited for helping quarterback Eli Manning perform more consistently, which could make for a fun conversation, getting to know a little more about the two-time Super Bowl winning QB.

And of course, location, location, location. Who could turn down a trip to the Big Apple, especially for a glass of frothy beer?

Next: Gus Bradley

Gus Bradley doesn’t have a ton of experience as an NFL head coach, but he was in the conversation for head coaching gigs for quite a while before he landed in Jacksonville. As the defensive coordinator for the Seattle Seahawks, Bradley turned a soft bunch into one of the greatest defenses the sport has ever seen.

Despite his defensive-minded strategy, it’s the Jaguars offense that is catching everyone’s attention, and they are definitely on the up and up. An up and coming team, a great location and a pretty good football coach, you’d think Bradley would be a little higher on this list.

However, everyone ahead of Bradley on this list has something he is lacking: quirky character traits. Bradley is the every-man. But few people in the world are truly interesting (sorry world), and the same is true of NFL head coaches. Some of them are just more entertaining, for better or worse, and Bradley is not one of them.

Next: Jason Garrett

Who is that guy? Meet Jason Garrett. He’s a character, although you kind of have to be in order to work for the Dallas Cowboys. Owner Jerry Jones has set a precedent unlike any other for the Cowboys, who used to be “America’s Team.” You can never have too many larger than life personalities in Dallas.

Garrett was privileged growing up, attending a prep school in Ohio before going to Princeton to play football. He transferred from Princeton to join rival Columbia University after his dad became the head coach. Garrett eventually went on to become a third string quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, and then fate led him back to the team as head coach in 2010.

Dallas is a great city. Jason Garrett is an interesting person. What more could you want from a drinking buddy? Tales of Jerry Jones, you say? Well, who better to tell you about the man, the myth, the legend of Jerry Jones than his head coach?

Nobody, that’s who.

Next: Doug Pederson

“Welcome back to Philadelphia, Doug!” — Eagles fans, probably.

Doug Pederson was the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles back in 1999, and started over rookie QB Donovan McNabb for most of the season. Pederson went 2-7 as the starting QB before being benched and succeeded by the Hall of Fame hopeful. Philly chewed Pederson up and spit him back out.

Pederson is no quitter, though, as he is back in Philly for his first season as the team’s head coach. I’d love to sit with Pederson over a pint and discuss the finer things in life. Like Philadelphia fans, and how he plans to make it out of the season alive. They threw snowballs at Santa Claus! There’s no coming back from that.

Don’t get me wrong, Philly is a great place to have a drink. That is, if you don’t have to live there and do it every day. Pederson also seems like a nice guy, so he just barely misses the top 20.

This photo shows how much faith Brett Favre had in Pederson when they played together in Green Bay, which ironically is probably the look Philly fans will be giving him the entire season:

Next: Mike McCoy

Mike McCoy is a California native, which made him the perfect candidate to head up the San Diego Chargers when they had a vacancy after the 2012 season. Several teams made a run at McCoy, including the Chicago Bears, Arizona Cardinals and Philadelphia Eagles, but it was the Chargers who won the sweepstakes. Or so they thought.

McCoy hasn’t done much in his first three years, going 9-7 twice and 4-12 last season. With a 22-26 overall record, McCoy isn’t turning any heads. He is, however, still a very viable option for a drinking mate. Located in beautiful San Diego, where the weather is always a balmy 70 degrees, McCoy has some prime real estate to drink on.

I’d love to discuss Tim Tebow and how McCoy was able to set up the Denver Broncos offense with the former collegiate star and professional disaster. They even won a playoff game! Against the Steelers! McCoy must have some kind of magic, and I’d love to be privy to it.

Next: John Fox

John Fox is a grizzled NFL veteran headlining his third team, the Chicago Bears. He also knows a little about heartbreak, having lost twice in the Super Bowl, once to the New England Patriots on a last second Adam Vinatieri field goal and once to the Seattle Seahawks in a beatdown, 43-8.

The Bears are the only team John Fox has coached that he hasn’t taken to the Super Bowl, but give him time, he just started there last year. I’d like to sit down with John over a pint and ask him how it felt to lose in the Super Bowl one year, get fired and then watch his previous team (Denver Broncos) go on to win the Super Bowl the next year.

That conversation might not go so well, but I’m sure he’d handle it like a champ. He can reminisce about Peyton Manning’s record breaking 2013 season and I’ll just sit back and sip on a nice IPA. Fox has had a long NFL career, so he probably has plenty of dirt and exciting gossip on players, coaches and NFL executives that he can pass along.

One thing is for sure, the conversation would never be boring, and there are worse places in the world to have a beer than the Windy City.

Next: Gary Kubiak

You might be wondering, “who took over for John Fox after his Broncos lost in the Super Bowl and then took the Broncos back to the Super Bowl and won?” Well, look no further than Gary Kubiak.

How can you not have the coach of the latest Super Bowl winners in your top 20? You can’t. The man has had an interesting career path, as well, which makes this choice pretty easy. Kubiak was the head coach of the Houston Texans for eight years, compiling a 61-64 record, which was headlined by a 12-4 season in 2012. He followed that with a 2-11 start in 2013 that saw him get fired in December.

Kubiak spent the next year as the Baltimore Raven’s offensive coordinator, biding his time until a team called with a head coaching vacancy. The Denver Broncos came calling and the rest was history, as they made their way to a Super Bowl 50 victory over the Carolina Panthers.

Imagine the chance to sit down with Kubiak, fresh off his Super Bowl win. Maybe he even brings the Lombardi trophy with him! There’s no way you can pass up that opportunity, and Denver is a pretty nice place, too.

Next: Mike McCarthy

Mike McCarthy has spent 10 seasons in charge of the Green Bay Packers, and has only missed the playoffs twice in that span, with both of those times coming within his first three years with the team. McCarthy led the Packers to a Super Bowl victory over his boyhood favorite Pittsburgh Steelers in 2010.

McCarthy has also had the pleasure of coaching one Hall of Fame quarterback in Brett Favre and another future Hall of Famer in Aaron Rodgers. That alone is reason enough to want to sit down with the Pittsburgh native over a cold Iron City (it’s a Pittsburgh thing, yinz wouldn’t get it).

McCarthy guided the Packers faithful through a very nasty breakup with Favre, which was also smoothed out by the brilliant play of Rodgers. The opportunity to hear about the divorce straight from the horse’s would be too special to pass up.

Plus, our last names are only one letter apart, so there’s one great conversation waiting be had.

Next: Todd Bowles

How do you replace the most boisterous coach in the NFL? Well, if you’re the New York Jets, you bring in a rookie head coach whose even-keeled manner is in total contrast to the man who preceded him.

The Jets hired Todd Bowles as their head coach just days after releasing Rex Ryan, and thus began the era of calm … or did it? Bowles was welcomed to New York with the “punch that shook the world,” or maybe just the New York Jets locker room. Starting quarterback Geno Smith was punched in the face and broke his jaw, and then backup Ryan Fitzpatrick took over.

Who wouldn’t want to sit down with coach Bowles and hear what was going through his mind when he heard about the locker room scuffle that led to his starting quarterback breaking his jaw? Bowles also strikes me as a very humble, put together guy who is capable of talking about anything.

Next: Bruce Arians

When you think Virginia Tech football, who comes to mind? Of course legendary coach Frank Beamer and quarterback Michael Vick, but there’s another whose name stands out in the history books. Bruce Arians still holds the record for most rushing touchdowns by a quarterback in one season in VA tech history.

That’s right, Arians had more rushing touchdowns in one season than Michael Vick. How’s that for a stat?

I’d want to have a beer with him just to hear what he thinks about out-rushing Vick. Plus he’s an all around good guy, and a terrific coach. Arians took over as head coach of the Arizona Cardinals after becoming the interim head coach for the Indianapolis Colts when head coach Chuck Pagano was diagnosed with cancer.

Arians did well in Pagano’s absence, putting up a 9-3 record, which he parlayed into the head coaching gig at Arizona. He’s done well there as well, winning at least 10 games in each of his three seasons with the team. Arians has a no-nonsense attitude, but he’s also enough of a character to produce good conversation. A beer with coach Bruce Arians? You better accept that invitation.

Next: Chuck Pagano

Chuck Pagano is a warrior. Diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia during his first season as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, Pagano took an indefinite leave of absence from his coaching duties to go through treatment. He was diagnosed in September, received treatment for three months and then returned to his head coaching duties on Christmas Eve.

The Colts rallied around their coach and when he returned, in a moment that would make a grown man cry, Pagano led his team into the playoffs. This all happened in his first year as the skipper for the Colts, and Pagano has had a successful four years with the team overall, despite going just 8-8 during the 2015 campaign.

Chuck Pagano battled cancer and came back to coach his team just four months later. How could you not want to have a beer with this guy? To learn about his journey, to talk a little football — a pint with Pagano would make for great conversation and a wonderful life lesson.

Next: Ron Rivera

Ron Rivera, lucky number 13, is the head coach of the Super Bowl 50 runners-up, the Carolina Panthers. After going 7-8-1 in 2014 and somehow ending up in first place in their division, the Panthers rebounded in a big way in 2015. They collected 15 wins with only one loss, and made it through the NFC playoffs in stunning fashion.

The Panthers dominated every opponent they had during the NFC playoffs, but unfortunately they ran into one of the greatest defensive performances of all time against the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl. Rivera, who is of Puerto Rican (from his father) and Mexican (from his mother) heritage, was just the fifth man of color to lead his team to the Super Bowl.

Rivera also became the first player of Mexican/Puerto Rican descent to play on a Super Bowl-winning team as a member of the 1985 Chicago Bears, who had a buzzsaw of a defense in their own right.

Rivera broke barriers not only as a player, but as a head coach, and I would relish the opportunity to sit down with the man and talk about his professional past and the road he has paved for future head coaches and athletes. And who wouldn’t want to talk with the head coach of Cam Newton? Coach Rivera must have some good stories to tell, and I would be honored to sit and listen.

Next: Pete Carroll

The infamous Pete Carroll. One of the greatest, and most controversial, college football coaches of all time, there is no doubt that Carroll is a tremendous football coach. He left the University of Southern California amid scrutiny and controversy to become the head coach of the Seattle Seahawks in 2010.

Carroll had been a head coach in the NFL before, with the New York Jets in 1994 and again with the New England Patriots from 1997-1999. Carroll did not find success with either team, so he left the NFL to become the head coach at USC, where he turned the Trojans into a perennial powerhouse. Carroll then became the head coach of the Seahawks and delivered one of the most lopsided Super Bowl victories of all time, a 41-8 thrashing of the Denver Broncos.

Questions to ask Carroll:

• How do you maintain your youthful exuberance at the age of 64? (Carroll has found the fountain of youth, he just won’t tell anyone about it).
• How do you feel about the Reggie Bush scandal that forced you from the college ranks?
• Do you dream that you’re hugging the Lombardi trophy every night?

Carroll is a polarizing figure, not just in college sports or the NFL, but in football in general. I have no doubt that sitting with the man would make for an entertaining evening.

Next: Andy Reid

Talk about a polarizing figure. Andy Reid has been a head coaching staple in the NFL for years, 18 of them to be exact. Reid began his head coaching career with the Philadelphia Eagles in 1999, the same year they had the No. 2 overall pick in the draft, with which they decided to draft a dual-threat quarterback. You may have heard of him. His name is Donovan McNabb.

McNabb and Reid were intertwined from that moment on, although as you’ll recall from earlier (a la No. 21 Doug Pederson), Reid decided to let McNabb ride the pine for the first nine games of the 1999 season. From 2001-2003 Reid led the Eagles to three straight NFC Championship games and in 2004 led the Iggles to the Super Bowl, which they lost to the New England Patriots.

After eight hot-and-cold seasons with the Eagles after that, Reid settled into his new role as head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs, where he has had two successful seasons and one mediocre one.

So why do I want to have a beer with this man? He’s hilarious, in a very inadvertent kind of way. I want to ask him, among other things, how he feels about being the reincarnation of Mike Holmgren, whom he was an assistant coach for.

Next: Hue Jackson

We made it. The top 10. Phew!

Huey Lewis, I mean, Huey “Hue” Jackson is headed into his first season as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns, God rest his soul. His starting quarterback? Robert Griffin III. How much luckier could a guy get? Not much.

Jackson has been a head coach in the NFL once before, with the Oakland Raiders in 2011, when he went a respectable 8-8. He is an experienced offensive assistant coach, having worked as a running backs coach, wide receivers coach, and an offensive coordinator. It’ll be interesting to see what coach Jackson can do with the talented, but oft-injured RGIII.

It would be a pleasure to sit down with coach Jackson and discuss his long road to becoming a second-time NFL head coach, and hear what his plans are for the Browns, who have been the worst team in the NFL since they rejoined the league in 1999.

He took the worst head coaching job in the NFL and is working with one of the most enigmatic players in the NFL, who just so happens to be his field general. You know he’s a patient, caring man if he’s capable of all that, so why wouldn’t you want to grab a cold one with him?

Next: Jay Gruden

Jay Gruden, little brother of former NFL head coach Jon Gruden, is entering his third year as the head coach of the Washington Redskins. Little Gruden had a mildly successful college career as a quarterback for the Louisville Cardinals from 1985-1988, which he parlayed into a stint in the Arena Football League.

Interesting factoid: Jay Gruden was the MVP of the Arena Football League in 1992.

Gruden became the head coach of the Washington Redskins in 2014, leading the team to a dismal 4-12 season, which led many to believe that he would be fired. However, he turned things around in 2015 (with the help of Kirk Cousins) to the tune of a 9-7 record and the team’s first playoff appearance since 2012.

I want to have a beer with the whole Gruden family. I mean, what a cast of characters that is. But I’ll settle for a pint with Jay to hear what he has to say about benching RGIII in favor of the gun-slinging Cousins.

Next: Adam Gase

I said it earlier. Location. Location. Location.

It doesn’t get much better than a beer in Miami. Adam Gase is entering his first season with the Miami Dolphins after serving as the offensive coordinator for the Denver Broncos and Chicago Bears.

At 38, Gase is the youngest head coach in the NFL, and what a place to land your first head coaching gig. The former quarterbacks coach will have his hands full with Ryan Tannehill, who has tremendous potential if he can find some sort of consistency.

Miami also has a storied history of excellence (though not recently), highlighted by the Super Bowl appearances under the leadership of Hall of Famer Don Shula. Adam Gase is a lucky man. Youngest NFL head coach. Storied franchise. Incredible location.

Yeah, I think I’d sit down with him over a brewski.

Next: Chip Kelly

Chip Kelly. Need I say more? Love him or hate him, he’s one of the most entertaining personalities in the league today. The former Oregon head coach made his NFL debut in 2013 as the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles and took the team to the playoffs in his first season, where they lost in the first round.

Outside of his coaching career, though, no one knows anything about Kelly. The man might as well not even exist off the gridiron. I want to sit down with Chip to learn about Chip the man. Nothing to do with football. I just want the opportunity to learn something, anything, about who Chip Kelly is and what makes him tick.

As Kelly heads into his first year as skipper of the San Francisco 49ers, he is once again surrounded by more questions than answers. Can he turn Colin Kaepernick into the success he was under Jim Harbaugh? Will he be able to relate to his players, which was a major criticism during his stint in Philadelphia? Who is he? Is he a robot?

So many questions asked, so few answers to be had. A beer with Kelly might afford the right platform to finally get some answers.

Next: John Harbaugh

He’s not as bombastic or unconventional as his brother Jim, but John Harbaugh is a hell of a coach and is well respected around the league. In a recent interview with ESPN, Jim Harbaugh stated that big brother John is “the best coach I know. I’m half as good as John.” High praise from a good coach in his own right, even if it is a little biased.

The 2015 season was a setback for the Baltimore Ravens, and John Harbaugh’s worst in eight years as the team’s head coach. Season-ending injuries to quarterback Joe Flacco, wide receiver Steve Smith Jr. and linebacker Terrell Suggs doomed the Ravens season, but they still beat their division rival Pittsburgh Steelers twice in two attempts.

Harbaugh led the Ravens to a Super Bowl victory in 2012 over his brother’s San Francisco 49ers, with a final score of 34-31. That would be a great topic of conversation, as the Ravens led big before a power outage at halftime saw the 49ers make a stunning comeback only to fall a little short in the end.

Who wouldn’t want to sit down with Harbaugh to learn about his story, and of course get a little dirt on his brother Jim?

Next: Mike Tomlin

Finally we’ve made it to the last Mike in the countdown. There are a total of five NFL head coaches named Mike, which adds up to 15 percent of the overall head coaching pool.

Mike Tomlin is the head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and is entering his 10th season with the club. Known for his sideline antics and textbook stoicism, Tomlin has been a controversial figure at times. Remember the Thanksgiving Day game against the Ravens when Tomlin may or may not have interfered with Jacoby Jones’ kickoff return?

Regardless, Tomlin has been a fantastic NFL head coach, taking the Steelers to the Super Bowl twice, with one win (in his second season) and one heartbreaking loss to Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. Tomlin became the youngest head coach in NFL history to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory.

Tomlin has a vibrant personality and isn’t afraid to wear his emotions on his classic sweatshirt sleeves. We’d head over to Primanti’s (the Strip District location, of course), grab a sandwich and have a beer.

Next: Sean Payton

The top five in my countdown is dripping with controversy. And New Orleans head coach Sean Payton is no exception. He was suspended for the entire 2012 season due to the bounty scandal that rocked the Saints locker room. As it turns out, you’re not allowed to put a price tag on someone’s head in the NFL. Who knew?

Although he’s had back-to-back mediocre seasons (going 7-9 in 2014 and 2015), Payton and Drew Brees are the pride of New Orleans, especially after their 2009 Super Bowl victory over Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts.

I’d want to grab a beer with Payton to hear what it meant to him to bring a Super Bowl to the city of New Orleans, and how the city rallied around his team during the 2006 season after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina the previous year.

Next: Bill Belichick

Simultaneously one of the most hated and most revered men in America, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is currently the longest tenured coach in the NFL. He’s been with the Patriots since the turn of the century.

Belichick’s first stint as an NFL head coach, with the Cleveland Browns, didn’t go so well. Yet, something must have clicked when he took over the Patriots, as he has led them, along with Tom Brady, to four Super Bowl victories, which could very easily have been six, had it not been for Eli Manning’s late game heroics with the New York Giants.

Talk about a controversial figure. Belichick has faced serious scrutiny on numerous occasions, and will be without starting quarterback Tom Brady for the first four games of this season due to the Deflategate scandal.

Much like Chip Kelly, I’d like to get to know Belichick as a person, and then of course ask him about the series of “Gates” that have run their course during his tenure as the Patriots head coach.

Next: Bill O'Brien

Did you watch Hard Knocks? If you did, you understand why Bill O’Brien is No. 2 on my list. While spewing enough expletives to fill a bathtub in every episode, O’Brien brought a passion and energy to the game I haven’t seen in some time.

The man just loves football, and will do anything it takes to win. But O’Brien is more than just curse words and football. He’s a family man, too.

O’Brien is entering his third season as the head coach of the Houston Texans, who were 2-14 the year before he arrived. In each of his first two seasons, the Texans have gone 9-7, and that’s with some very suspect quarterback play. Lucky for them, O’Brien is excellent with quarterbacks and they now have at least a decent starter in Brock Osweiler, formerly of the Denver Broncos.

I wouldn’t want to talk football with Bill O’Brien. I’d rather just have a meaningful conversation. If it went in the direction of football, great, but if not, I know I’d be getting a great education anyway.

Next: Rex Ryan

From a great education to a great entertainer.

Rex Ryan comes in at No. 1 and, if I’m assuming correctly, that will make many of you angry. But you should know why I made the choice. Ryan is the definition of a character. He’s wild, he’s unpredictable, he’s just plain fun to watch.

You want controversy, watch Rex Ryan introduce Donald Trump for President. That’s controversy.

Not satisfied? Well, there are plenty more Rex Ryan stories to tell. Like the one about the video in which Ryan reveals he is allegedly all about his wife’s feet. I mean, the guy is a legend, though admittedly not in a good way.

I would want to have a beer with Rex Ryan just to see if he’s as crazy as the media portrays him, or if it’s just an act to get some publicity. Either way, he tops the list.