Carmelo Anthony’s bathrobe radius is larger than yours.
On Thursday night, La La Anthony sent out a Snapchat of her husband, Melo, strolling the streets of god-knows-where (New York?), apparently en route to the local mini-mart, wearing only an Olympics hat and bathrobe embroidered with his name.
Don’t worry, though. He was carrying a substantial stack of cash, too.
Fox Sports’ Dan Carson and SI.com’s Kenny Ducey are the superheroes who brought this to our attention:
After watching these clips again and again and again (and again), it seems that Anthony may also be rocking some Jordans to finish off his embroidered robe-Olympic hat ensemble:
Even if those are just some boxy slippers (Jordan-brand moccasins???), Anthony is a freaking national treasure, all because of La La, to whom we are all now forever indebted.
Seriously, have you ever wondered what peak Dad Mode would look like on a 6’8″ three-time Olympic gold medalist? This is it. This is Anthony at his realest, simultaneously basking in his wealth, international accolades and “Should I put on pants? I should put on pants. Nah, screw it. Who am I trying to impress?” family-man status. He deserves some sort of award for this. Like another gold medal, or a trophy, or the next cover for ESPN The Magazine’s “Body” issue, which would feature him strategically posing in an open bathrobe, his name stitched near the top of course, with some combination of a gold medal, olympic hat and roll of hundy sticks covering his junk.
On a completely unrelated note: Legend has it an athlete’s bathrobe radius is a quintessential indication of how many wins their team will rack up during the upcoming season. And that, sweet New York Knicks apologists, means your ‘Bockers are going 82-0 this year.