Ice Cold Takes is a weekly humor column focused on what is trending around the NHL. The column that is as bad as the Bruins are in overtime.
No elaboration on that joke because no one wants to start off their Fridays on a sad note. The new year is all about being positive. No negative NHL news, no bad vibes, we’re out here being positive Peters and it feels good. It’s 2020, and with a new year comes a newly revamped NHL column. Just kidding, we’re still doing Phil Kessel news, Gritty updates and cute dog pictures.
On that note, here is some Phil Kessel news, followed by a Gritty update and some cute dog pictures.
Phil Kessel news
Kachina Kessel, a.k.a. Desert Dog, a.k.a. Dessert Dog, a.k.a. Phil the Thrill is as red-hot as the Phoenix climate lately (Is Phoenix still hot in January? I’ve never been). There’s nothing to really update on Phil, other than the fact that he’s about to go off and have one of the best second halves of a season we’ve ever seen.
Through 43 games this season, the hot dog assassin has nine goals and 14 assists. Not terrible, but it’s clear that he’s still finding his stride. Phil has also had a ton of great scoring chances that don’t necessarily show up on the score card. Let this be our first official prediction of 2020:
On their way to the Stanley Cup Final, Phil Kessel and the Arizona Coyotes are about to go off. Arizona is already one of the hottest teams in the league and Taylor Hall is still getting used to playing with the team. With two solid goaltenders, a ton of talent and a favorable market for the league would love to gently nudge in the right direction, the Coyotes are going to be fighting for the Cup this season.
Phil will finish with 35+ goals and the ‘Yotes are going all the way. Book it!
Cute dog pictures
The Carolina Hurricanes are the latest NHL team to bring in some team dogs and the pictures provided from the visit did not disappoint.
There is absolutely no downside to this. Why every team hasn’t picked up a few team dogs is beyond me. To the Boston Bruins, who are in dire need of a pick-me-up, please, please consider adopting a team bear (or perhaps a second line right-winger – either or would be great).
Winter Classic drama
Corey Perry, perhaps the most hated smaller-market NHL player, is back in the news again this week after he elbowed Ryan Ellis in the face during the 2020 Winter Classic between the Dallas Stars and Nashville Predators.
Perry was immediately ejected from the game and forced to take perhaps the longest walk of shame in NHL history. According to his coach, we should feel bad for him, though.
This is an absolute hell of a spin zone from Bowness. First of all, your guys won because they try to win every game. Sure, the outdoor classic is a little special, but really, it’s one of 82 that Dallas needs before their inevitable underwhelming playoff run.
Second, I highly doubt the guys had a quick pep talk after the first about how sad they were that Perry didn’t get to play in the rest of the fancy outdoor game after he elbowed Ryan Ellis in the face.
Corey Perry didn’t die, coach. There’s no need to “win for him,” nor do you have to feel bad that this scumbag missed a game because he’s a scumbag. SO MUCH FOR POSITIVITY IN 2020. Idiot.
Speaking of people who I am upset with in 2020, Kendall Coyne Schofield is also a big meany. Sure she didn’t try to take David Pastrnak’s jaw off, but this was some pretty unnecessary trash talk.
Pasta’s feelings are hurt!
Detroit Tok city
Let’s check in with the NHL’s bottom dwelling Detroit Red Wings.
Nope. Can’t say I’ve ever wondered that. Cate makes a great point, though.
Keep your head up.