Bachelor Mailbag, Week 2: Demi predictions and self-evictions

The Bachelor mailbag must be emptied again. This week, we hit little red convertibles, Revolve and celebrity Bachelor/ettes.

The Bachelor’s second episode was engulfed by the aftermath of champagnegate. Honestly, if one of the mailbag questions was to tell you who went home, I wouldn’t be able to answer it. There’s still a lot going on aside from popping bottles, though. This week, we get into all of it.

Last week’s mailbag was all over the map. This one is no different. From memory games, to champagnegate, to a company (or clothing line?) called Revolve. I have answered each of these to the best of my ability.

Thanks to everyone who sent in questions this week! Keep them coming and be sure to tune into Can I Steal You For A Second? to hear Dustin and Ashley answer bonus questions as well. Available on Apple, Google and Spotify now.

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“How soon is too soon to invite your ex to plan a date for you? Is there any situation in which this is a good idea?” – Farrah

Never. In a real world situation, this is never a good idea. The only circumstance where this may be warranted is if you ex was like, your ex from elementary school, which obviously wasn’t a real relationship, and she is a date planner or something now.

Even that would be bad. Plan your own dates! If bringing Hannah back was actually Pete’s idea, it was because he needed closure. If it was “suggested” to him by the Bachelor crew, then it was to cause exactly what it caused, leading to the derailment of the date.

So short answer, it’s a bad idea and should never happen because the date ends up canceled and Natasha will shoot you dirty looks for the rest of the night. Not fun.

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“Do you think Peter actually remembered who Lexi (the convertible girl) was?” – Kate

Not. A. Chance. Pete knew one of the women rolled up in a red convertible but there’s no way he knew it was Lexi. The minute she brought up the car, he acted like he knew. “Oh yeah! What did they do with that thing, anyway?” Classic move. Divert from the original question with another question to make it seem like you know what was being talked about. This is what I do when my wife catches me zoning out.

Here’s how it went down. Right before the cocktail party, one of the producers gave him the small toy convertible and made a little side bet with another producer as to whether or not Pete would figure out who Lexi was before she mentioned the car. He didn’t and now one producer owes another producer $100 or something.

“Would you have opened the champagne?” – David

Yes. All of us would have. There is champagne and wine all over the house. I highly doubt (before last week, anyway) that anyone was actually asking before opening. I would have definitely opened it if I had gotten the “go ahead, it’s all good!” signal from the nearest camera person who had just radioed to the camera over by Kelsey to listen for a loud “pop.”

We covered champagne-gate at length in the Bachelor Nation Investigation earlier this week. Here is who was truly at fault.

“If you didn’t watch the episode and had to guess, what are 3-5 businesses Revolve could possibly be?” – Crystal

I did watch the episode and I’m still not sure what Revolve is. Is it a brand of clothing? A store? A style of fashion? I have no idea. What I do know is that the contestants were very excited about it so it must be something the more famous contestants get offered to sell on Instagram after the show ends.

If I had no idea what it was and you asked for my best guess, I would say perhaps they make doors? Or a gun store. If I heard “Revolve” was on the latest Bachelor episode I would likely assume it was an awful awesome up-and-coming country band.

Oh! Maybe it would be a fancy new dating app that cycles you through 5-8 dates in one night. Like Bumble meets speed dating meets Bachelor group dates. Can we patent this?

“Based on her appearance in the preview, what do you think Demi is going to do? What do you want Demi to do?” – Casey

Demi is going to do exactly what Demi does best: Be Demi. She’s going to tear through the house like a beautiful little category-5 hurricane and sort through the contestants like your mom sorts through her laundry (just wash it all together on cold, mom).

Demi is top-notch television no matter where she goes or what she does. Pay close attention to who she gets close with (my guess is Mykenna) and whose fire she fuels (probably Alayah). She’s going to leave a trail of destruction in her wake, but it’ll be the good kind of destruction. The kind where insurance covers it all and builds you a nicer place afterwards. Or something. Whatever. We’re excited for Demi!

“Who would your dream celebrity Bachelor be?” – Britt

Great question! If they were to cast a celebrity Bachelor and/or Bachelorette, it would have to be someone who is likable, single and who draws enough of a following to actually end up more famous than the current Bachelor/ette contestants do post-show (which is pretty damn famous).

Bachelorette: Demi Lovato is a huge fan of the show. She is universally loved by Bachelor Nation and has even been linked to a certain contestant in the past (what up Big Mike). She is also very entertaining, well liked and talented. I think she would be an awesome Bachelorette.

Bachelor: There’s no way Michael B. Jordan is actually single, right?

“Do you think Lauren was able to perform her exit interview with Peter?” – Allan 

Oh yeah! I completely forgot about this. According to her ABC bio, Lauren performs exit interviews with all of her ex-boyfriends. Seeing as she hasn’t met Pete yet, I’m going to go ahead and say that she won’t get the interview. Hopefully we get to do her exit interview, though!

“Will anyone self-evict this season?” – Jess M.

Yes. It’s been teased a few times now, with both Victoria F. and Kelsey. I believe Victoria F. will eventually go through with it, as she is already showing signs that this type of competition isn’t for her. There will most likely be a couple of stragglers who leave on their own as well, much like the few who did for Colton’s season after figuring out they were nowhere near the front-runners in their relationships at the time.

The women who don’t care about being influencers will be the ones to dip. I’m looking at Lexi (red Corvette) and Natasha (doesn’t take any sh*t) to fill those two spots. Alexa also really seems to have it all together, business-wise, so I wouldn’t expect her to wait around for a relationship to develop. Everyone either has a relationship with Pete or can hang around long enough to sell fitness and self-care products online, which, doesn’t seem like that bad of a life.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC.