These are the five MMA fighters you would most want to be stuck with during the coronavirus quarantine (and five you wouldn’t).
MMA fighters, just like the rest of us around the world, are quarantined at home to help curve the outbreak of the coronavirus. Just like the rest of us, they’re doing what they can to deal with the isolation. And like some of us, they’re quarantined with significant others, relatives and roommates.
Which begs the question: Which MMA fighters would be the most (and least) ideal quarantine partners?
The originator of such memorable phrases as “my balls was hot,” and “Where Ronda Rousey fine a** at?”, Derrick Lewis might be the funniest man in all of MMA. Outside of the cage, he’s a soft-spoken gentle giant. Giggles on the couch all day re-watching 90s comedies feel like exactly what Lewis does well.
Let’s face it, being stuck with one person in isolation — no matter who — for weeks on end will inevitably lead to tension. Unless, of course, you’re stuck with one of the calmest, most perplexingly serene humans to ever exist. Enter the heavyweight GOAT, Fedor Emelianenko, who would be delightfully unobtrusive and unbothered, despite the circumstances. Just let the man have a pull-up bar and a comfy sweater and he’s out of your way.
If you’re the more active type, you may want to hunker down with UFC lightweight Jim Miller. In between a variety of outdoor activities (most of which seem to include shooting something), let Miller grill you up meal after meal of whatever you want (he seems charitable). No need for a trip to the grocery store when this guy can keep you fed.
If you’re more concerned about your safety in this time of uncertainty, might I suggest a very polite, pleasant, and jovial young man that also happens to be one of the scariest humans on the planet today? Francis Ngannou seems easy to get along with, and rest assured not a soul will mess with you so long as Ngannou is part of your crew.
He might not be for everybody, but sometimes we all need some of the unrelenting positivity that Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson brings to the table. The consensus “NMF” champion, Thompson is a goofball through and through, but he’ll never let you just wallow in misery. Also, coming out of the quarantine with a good spinning wheel kick would be a plus.
Sure, the amenities that his vast wealth could provide would be great, but Conor McGregor didn’t get to be MMA’s biggest star by being the image of humility. Weeks of quarantine with a person that loves to talk about themselves doesn’t sound fun, and McGregor’s constant shadowboxing would become annoying.
“Just sit down and watch Netflix one time, Conor!”
Listen, we should all be exercising. That’s true. But if you’re more interested in indulging the opportunity for lounging that the quarantine presents, you don’t need anyone guilting you into expending thousands of calories a day. Bellator lightweight Michael Chandler is undeniably motivating, but every day of this? I’m already exhausted.
Quarantine, day 35: “Yes, Henry, I do know about your gold medals and championship belts.”
Another fighter you want to avoid if you’re more into relaxing, Clay Guida probably has to jog a couple of miles just to wind down for the night. Like the Energizer Bunny, a quarantined Guida probably just bounces off the walls 18 hours a day. Not to mention that hair, while glorious, no doubt wreaks havoc on the drains.
Despite his great sense of humor, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has a notoriously quick temper. Leave one dish in the sink for too long and before you know it Jackson is howling like a dog and ripping your doors off the hinges. No thanks.