There are no sports being played right now so we ranked every NFL helmet to make some of you happy and the rest of you mad.
I’m not sure if you noticed but there are no sports being played right now.
As a result, it’s pretty rough times in the sports media industry. We’re digging DEEP into our bag of tricks to try and keep you all entertained long enough to ride this nightmare out. We’re cranking lists and rankings. We’re covering marble races. We’ve all had to swallow our pride and stop making fun of e-sports.
Or is it E-sports? Esports? eSports? I don’t care.
What are we doing here, again? Oh, yeah. Right. Helmet rankings. I fully realize I’m not the first person to ever rank NFL helmets. Hell, I’m probably not the first person to rank NFL helmets TODAY.
But you know what? I have a platform and I’m going to use it. Some of you will agree with me. Many, many more of you will not. Be sure to let me know how mad you are in the comments section because Internet comments sections are the closest we’re going to get to hockey fights for a little while.
The great thing here is that I can’t be wrong because this is my own list. Just be careful, though. These rankings are so perfect they can have a similar effect to what happened to those nazis in Indiana Jones opening of the Ark of the Covenant.
Let’s get started.
32. Washington Redskins
I mean, you know why. Don’t @ me.
31: Houston Texans
The Houston Texans helmet looks like a BBQ sauce logo. It also doesn’t help that the Texans helmet will always be compared (by me) to the greatest NFL helmet of all time, which belonged to the Houston Oilers. The Texans should change their logo to Bill O’Brien making a confused face. It would be funny and way more accurate.
30. Tennessee Titans
What the hell even is this? It’s like they have five different ideas for this logo and just decided to keep them all. How they landed on a circle that is on fire with blue flames, I’ll never know. This team went from having the NFL’s best helmet to one of the worst. They should have stayed the Oilers.
29. Denver Broncos
This thing is hideous. You know what wasn’t hideous? The old school Broncos helmet with the capital “D” and the horse in the middle. Bring them back, please.
28. Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jaguars helmet feels like one of those fake expansion team logos you get in Madden Franchise Mode. Unfortunately, the Jags are a real-life expansion team that still hasn’t gotten its logo right. Love the uniform colors, hate the helmet decal.
27. Carolina Panthers
See the Jaguars.
26. Philadelphia Eagles
These modern Eagles helmets have never sat right with me. They are too glossy the color is wrong. The team should bring back the kelly green versions and be done with it.
25. New England Patriots
The Patriots are another team that had a perfectly awesome helmet and screwed it up trying to “modernize” or sell more jerseys or whatever. Long live Pat Patriot.
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
On one hand, I think pirates, and skulls and swords are all awesome. On the other hand, these helmets look like something straight out of a Disney movie. Tom Brady would look much better in the old creamsicle uniforms with “Bucco Bruce” on the helmet.
23. Cincinnati Bengals
Some folks really love the Bengals helmets. They’re all right, I guess. Still, I can’t help but think of them as the low-rent Browns … if there can be such a thing. I can’t blame Bengals founder Paul Brown for stealing the Cleveland Browns color scheme since then Browns owner Art Modell fired him.
Think about that for a second. Art Modell fired Paul Brown AND Bill Belichick and stole the Browns and moved them to Baltimore, leaving the once-proud football town stuck with the “new” Browns and we all know how that’s gone. What a guy.
22. Arizona Cardinals
There is nothing terribly wrong with the Cardinals helmet but there is nothing very interesting about it, either. It’s the 8-8 of NFL helmets.
21. Baltimore Ravens
Kind of like the Cardinals, the Ravens logo is just meh. I feel like it could have been a lot cooler. Baltimore has a great color scheme and team name. This one could use an overhaul.
20. Atlanta Falcons
I guess this is the “bird section” of these rankings. We’re finally getting somewhere with the Falcons helmets. I really dig the splashes of red here and the sleekness of the falcon. Solid helmet.
19. Los Angeles Chargers
These helmets are great. They’re clean and simple and look terrific with the team’s powder blue uniforms, which by the way, are the only uniforms the Chargers should ever wear.
18. Cleveland Browns
Cleveland’s helmets are polarizing. A lot of people hate the color orange in general and don’t like the brown and orange combo. Perhaps I’m biased because I grew up about 45 minutes outside of Cleveland but I have always liked the Browns’ simple orange helmet, especially when paired with their old brown jerseys.
The logoless helmet is totally unique in the NFL so that fact and some nostalgia have the Browns coming in at 18.
17. Los Angeles Rams
The Rams seem to have a new helmet every other season but the basic design here is super cool and works in multiple colors. I’ve always been partial to the yellow horns but the white version looks good as well.
16. New York Giants
I preferred the version of these helmets that said “GIANTS” but the “ny” version isn’t bad. The blue helmet gives off a nice pop and contrasts nicely with the block, white lettering. The helmet has a classic feel to it.
15. Seattle Seahawks
As you have likely been able to gather if you have actually been reading my commentary, I tend to favor old school and classic looks.
In this instance, however, I think the Seahawks are sporting the best version of their helmet in team history. I am not much of a fan of their current uniforms but this helmet looks terrific.
14. Green Bay Packers
We’re getting to the top half of the league now so this is getting a lot harder. I love the Packers helmet. It hasn’t changed a lot over the years and for good reason. It is one of the most iconic logos in sports history. It could easily be ranked higher, even No. 1 by a lot of people but this is my list so No. 14 it is.
13. Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins have a terrific helmet. This one isn’t as good as the previous versions where the dolphin has a helmet on but it still captures the soul of this classic logo and franchise. Now, if Miami can just capture the soul of the 1972 team…
12. Minnesota Vikings
These helmets are awesome. I am a big fan of the matte purple. Otherwise, these classic helmets are relatively unchanged since 1961.
11. New York Jets
I liked the white, classic version more but the newest iteration of the Jets helmet is still pretty sweet. New York has changed its helmet a lot but they all have a similar feel This deep green color seems appropriate for a team named “Gang Green.”
10. New Orleans Saints
All the helmets left are excellent. The Saints kick off the top 10 but that is more of a reflection of how stiff the competition is than the actual design of the helmet. The Saints helmet is the perfect complement to their uniforms.
New Orleans has tweaked the logo over the years but this is another helmet that looks a lot like it did back in the 1960s.
9. Buffalo Bills
Buffalo has had a few different iterations of this design and all of them have been good. The team has settled on the more modern, charging buffalo with the stripe. While I prefer the old red standing buffalo from the early ’60s, this helmet is still a cut above most others in the NFL.
8. Detroit Lions
Now I am REALLY having a hard time choosing. The Lions helmet is badass. The silver and blue look excellent next to each other and I quite like the recently-added definition to the lion.
7. Chicago Bears
I feel like these next few are pretty interchangeable as far as rankings go but tough decisions had to be made. What is there to say about the Bears helmet other than that it has iconic status as far as sports logos go. Simple and classic.
6. Indianapolis Colts
The Colts helmet is, if I am not mistaken, the oldest in the NFL. Why mess with perfection? The horseshoe on the white helmet provides a very clean look, especially with the team’s white uniforms.
5. Kansas City Chiefs
Another classic look, the Chiefs have barely touched their logo since the team moved to Kansas City in 1963. I really think the Bears, Colts and Chiefs are all neck and neck here, but I am a Chiefs fan so they get the nod at No. 5.
4. Dallas Cowboys
Like the Colts logo, the Dallas star helmet is perfect. There were so many ways this helmet could have been designed horribly. One need only look at the old Broncos helmet with the goofy horse on it to know that a team called the “Cowboys” could have ended up with a lot of ridiculous helmets.
I am sure if you look up 100 different rankings of NFL helmets, you may find the Cowboys atop half of those lists. I love the Dallas star but there are three other logos I like better.
3. Las Vegas Raiders
I am a big fan of crests and shields and so the Raiders helmet hits a sweet spot for me. The logo is more intricate than some of the classic NFL logos but the artist really pulled this off nicely.
2. San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers have tinkered with the shade of their scarlet red but other than that they have wisely left their helmet along. I love the gold and scarlet combo, the SF and the red and white stripe. This helmet is close to perfection.
1. Pittsburgh Steelers
As a kid growing up in Northeast Ohio and rooting for the Browns, I hated the Steelers. But even I have to admit, their helmet is one of the most iconic in all of sports. Pittsburgh’s helmet, like Cleveland’s, is extremely unique, with the logo featured on only one side.
Pittsburgh uses a variation of the “steel mark” logo owned by the American Iron and Steel Institute. The Steelers helmet not only looks fantastic but it perfectly represents the team and the region it plays in.
All right, so you have now all had to endure my personal rankings of NFL helmets. You can either hop on down to the comments section to start calling me an idiot or you can include your own personal rankings below. I’d love to see them.