We’ve got flip flops being used as weapons on WWE Smackdown and we love it!
When you’re watching WWE Smackdown, be prepared for things you never prepared for.
So Matthew Riddle a.k.a. “The Super King of Bros” falls out of the ring. He tries to gather himself for a second and comes up with a great idea in his mind. He grabs a random flip flop he finds on the ground and then proceeds to use it as a weapon on King Baron Corbin. When you get smacked in the face with a pink flip flop, you must follow the man who attacked you back into the ring.
This was clearly a reenactment of something fierce that went on at a suburban pool many summers ago. Where else are you going to get a shirtless man smacking a man wearing a crown and a robe with a pink flip flop? This was something you’d see two eight-year-olds do in between events at a neighborhood swim meet. If that’s not your childhood, then your parents messed up.
Flip flops have always been the most underrated weapons of our lifetimes.
From personal experience, when you get smacked in the face with a flip flop, it doesn’t matter if its hot pink or red, white and blue, it still hurts tremendously and it takes a little bit of your soul with it. It’s like getting open-handed slapped in the face, only its with a shoe device designed to let your stinky feets breathe. If your face isn’t red and glazed with a little bit of grit, you weren’t slapped.
So instead of hopping into the ring with your Ring Pop attached, get ready for some full-grown man, dude-on-dude rasslin’. If you could do it on a trampoline at 10 years old, you can do it now in your 20s, 30s or 40s. It’s like a bar fight, but probably not about a girl and you’re probably not hammered at 2 a.m. either. At its core, getting hit in the face with a pink flip flop is truly American.
Whoever’s kid sister that salmon-colored sandal belonged to, thank you for inspiring us all to never grow up. If you feel the need to disrespect someone’s manhood or womanhood, you are more than welcome to use a flip flop as a weapon to let the other person know you mean business and that you’re super duper Al Gore ManBearPig cereal about it.
If you’ve never been smacked in the face with a flip flop, you weren’t living hard enough as a youth.