What made baseball fun this week: Everybody wants you, Shohei Ohtani

I don’t believe what I just saw!: OHNOHEDIED! The Big Red Machine grounds crew gets gobbled up by the tarp monster like it’s a hearty bowl of Skyline chili

Put me in the minority, I kind of love rain delays. Oh, they absolutely suck when your team is in the middle of one, but it really is part of the quirky nature that makes baseball fun this week, and most weeks during the summer. It’s hot at s**t out there, so the earth is trying to cool itself off before we die. Truth be told, we’re living inside of a bag of Krystals or White Castles. I’m not wrong in this!

OHNOHEDIED!

Sometimes, you gotta shock the pool before it shocks you. I haven’t seen something plastic devour something this glorious in Cincinnati since a Covington trophy wife crossed the Ohio for some Skyline. You hate that idea all you want, but Who Dey Thank Gonna Beat Dem Bengals?! To be fair, as long as Kroger and P&G are still kicking, we’ll have Cincinnati Reds baseball in The Queen City.

While the San Francisco Giants have to deal with all sorts of weird weather and s**t over in NorCal, welcome to the Midwest! Like something gross you pulled out of the freezer and put into the microwave, it is hot and cold at the same time. When noted Chicago Cubs pitching savant Phil Brickma pulled out the hot ice for Tara Reid’s high school boyfriend, he knew exactly what’s up.

The only thing worse than being eaten by a tarp monster is visiting Kevin McAllister’s big house.

Hot cleats, Gatorade baths | But what about the fans???