Best MLB Parlay Picks Today (Two Favorites & a Total Usher in a Profitable Weekend)

My partner and I took her nieces mini-golfing the other night. Start 'em young, right?

What seemed like a great idea at the time quickly turned into unabashed chaos as the girls, aged four and two, starting swinging their plastic clubs everywhere and climbing the dinosaur figures in the complex. Lesson learned.

That being said, everything was worth it when the two-year-old threw her arms open and yelled "Joooooooooeeee" to give me a hug goodbye later. It was so dang adorable.

That rewarding feeling reminded me of these parlays. I'd certainly prefer not to dodge plastic golf clubs, but cashing a huge parlay makes the losses worth it in the end.

Let's jump into my favorite MLB parlay picks of the day, and remember, no mini-golfing for two-year-olds.

Best MLB Parlay Picks Today

Orioles (-166) vs Athletics

The Baltimore Orioles are 5-1 in Dean Kremer's last six starts as he's turned into a dependable rotation arm for the playoff hopefuls. With an expected FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) below 3.85 in four consecutive outings, highlighted by limiting the Houston Astros to one run over 7.2 innings last week, Kremer is in excellent form.

Star catcher Adley Rutschman is a revelation offensively for Baltimore, but the club also has the eighth-lowest team ERA since he came to the majors. The Oakland Athletics' should struggle offensively, ranking 29th in OPS against right-handed pitchers this season.

J.P. Sears is pitching well for Oakland, but has an expected FIP above 5.30 in each of his last two road starts with issues preventing walks. Baltimore has too many advantages to ignore, and I like the modest odds for the Orioles to improve to 7-3 in their last 10 games as home favorites.

Rangers vs Red Sox Over 9 (-121)

The over is 7-1 in the Texas Rangers' last eight games, and their starter today is perhaps the worst starting pitcher in all of MLB, Dallas Keuchel. This is the third team Keuchel pitched for already this season, and he rewarded Texas' faith by giving up seven runs in his debut last week.

In Keuchel's last seven starts, he's got an obscene 11.70 ERA and the over is 6-1. Just look at the guy's MLB Statcast Pitching Profile:

I can't figure out why teams keep signing him. Boston Red Sox starter Nick Pivetta isn't at Keuchel-levels, but the over is still 9-2-2 in his last 13 outings.

Don't think twice, rush to bet this over before the line gets a chance to move.

Mariners (-150) vs Guardians

This one hurts. I've fallen in love with the Cleveland Guardians this season, but even I have to admit the offense is an anchor weighing down my World Series dreams. Cleveland is 3-8 in its last 11 games as home underdogs, averaging a pathetic 1.82 runs per contest in that stretch.

Luis Castillo just struck out 10 Guardians over six one-run innings last week and has a sparkling 2.08 ERA since July 1st. Cleveland starter Zach Plesac has a 5.34 ERA in that stretch with consistently poor underlying metrics and just gave up three home runs to these Seattle Mariners in his most recent start.

With how well Seattle's lineup is hitting and how inept the Guardians look, we have no choice but to back the visitors. Count on the Mariners to improve to 18-3 in their last 21 games as road favorites to round out today's parlay.

MLB Parlay for September 2, 2022

The "No Mini-Golf for Toddlers" Parlay (+389)

• Orioles (-166) vs Athletics
• Rangers vs Red Sox Over 9 (-121)
• Mariners (-150) vs Guardians

With sports betting now legal in Kansas, I'm hopeful this is the first parlay I'll have the pleasure of reporting to the IRS as a winner for my taxes. I love our chances of trusting Baltimore and Seattle while fading Dallas Keuchel and the Guardians, so giddy up for a fun evening.

Odds of +389 pay out $96.96 on a $25 bet, though feel free to add other plays from the BetSided team's previews if you're feeling adventurous.

Remember not to let kids swing plastic golf clubs. Best of luck - let's get after it!

Follow all of Joe Summers' betting picks here.