Fansided

Terrell Owens Wants to Play for New England Patriots

By Josh Hill

October 24, 2012; Los Angeles, CA, USA; NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens (right) in attendance as the Los Angeles Clippers play against the Los Angeles Lakers during the first half at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
October 24, 2012; Los Angeles, CA, USA; NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens (right) in attendance as the Los Angeles Clippers play against the Los Angeles Lakers during the first half at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports /
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October 24, 2012; Los Angeles, CA, USA; NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens (right) in attendance as the Los Angeles Clippers play against the Los Angeles Lakers during the first half at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
October 24, 2012; Los Angeles, CA, USA; NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens (right) in attendance as the Los Angeles Clippers play against the Los Angeles Lakers during the first half at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports /

Terrell Owens is struggling to stay relevant in an NFL world that has gleefully left him behind. There wasn’t a guy like Owens capable of riling up a crowd the way he did, but the league really hasn’t missed him the way he would have liked and he’s got bills to pay which his failed reality series is no longer doing. So, naturally, Terrell Owens wants to play in the NFL again and even more naturally he wants to return to play for the New England Patriots.

The Patriots couldn’t be reached for comment because they were too busy laughing their asses off while hiding all the phones and covering up facility addresses.

According to Owens, playing for the Patriots would be a “no-brainer”, which is perhaps the most obvious and self-serving statement ever uttered by a human being in the history of mankind.

“I think that’s a no-brainer,” Owens said via BlindsideFootball.com. “You look at what they’ve done over the years. Under the tutelage of Tom and Coach Belichick [sic], I think the sky would be the limit in terms of what I’d be able to do. Considering my body of work and my history of playing the game.”

What’s this? The New England Patriots are good because of these guys named Tom Brady and Bill Belichick? Well gee, thanks T.O., I wasn’t aware of such obvious things, thank you for bringing them to the public’s attention.

Owens’ name was briefly linked to the Patriots when he was spotted working out with Tom Brady in Los Angeles, but while Owens thought he was trying out for the Patriots, Brady thought he was throwing a football to yet another tearful fan. The facts are that Owens failed to make the cut on the Seattle Seahawks roster last season and the Patriots are far better at weeding out talent than the Seahawks are.

What was T.O. supposed to say, that he wants to return and play for Cleveland? Actually, at this point that might be one of the only destinations that would accept him. Owens hasn’t played productive football in years, and he’s not getting any younger which means his pro days appear to be over and these talks of coming back with the Patriots are just awkward for everyone.