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Invitation: Paul Rudd Wants To Party With All Of Us To Celebrate Royals Win

By Catherine Silverman

Oct 15, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Movie actor Paul Rudd (left) takes a selfie photo with Kansas City Royals manager Ned Yost (right) and Royals players after game four of the 2014 ALCS playoff baseball game against the Baltimore Orioles at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals swept the Orioles to advance to the World Series. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 15, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Movie actor Paul Rudd (left) takes a selfie photo with Kansas City Royals manager Ned Yost (right) and Royals players after game four of the 2014 ALCS playoff baseball game against the Baltimore Orioles at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals swept the Orioles to advance to the World Series. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports /
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Oct 15, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Movie actor Paul Rudd (left) takes a selfie photo with Kansas City Royals manager Ned Yost (right) and Royals players after game four of the 2014 ALCS playoff baseball game against the Baltimore Orioles at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals swept the Orioles to advance to the World Series. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 15, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Movie actor Paul Rudd (left) takes a selfie photo with Kansas City Royals manager Ned Yost (right) and Royals players after game four of the 2014 ALCS playoff baseball game against the Baltimore Orioles at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals swept the Orioles to advance to the World Series. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports /

Paul Rudd is a huge Royals fan, so he wants us to all celebrate their sweep of the Baltimore Orioles back at his place

So apparently, Paul Rudd is a huge Kansas City Royals fan. This is news to me, as I not only didn’t know that Paul Rudd was a baseball fan, but assumed that he was yet another Brooklynite or some such city-dweller.

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Imagine my shock when I realized that no, Paul Rudd grew up in Kansas, and he’s invited us all over to his house his mom’s house to celebrate the Royals sweeping the Baltimore Orioles in order to win the ALCS in four games.

According to SB Nation, Paul Rudd is charging us a five dollar cover to drink what I can only assume is an everclear-spiked bowl of Tang and listen to whatever Midwesterners love to listen to. I feel like the Lumineers are probably high on that list, but I’m probably way off, and therefore will miss out on discovering more about our country’s Dust Bowl Basin by skipping this shindig.

Listen, Paul. Do you really need my five dollars more than I do? I’ve been driving around with an expired inspection sticker for the past three weeks- despite having gotten a ticket for the very same thing on my old car back in March- because I can’t scrape together forty bucks to go get the damn thing replaced. In contrast, you’re a movie star, and have enough money and influence to get onto the field and take selfies with the Royals, which means that I really think that you should be paying those five dollars to me. Think of it as a tax deduction.

Of course, there’s also the whole issue of my birth certificate heralding Baltimore as my native town, so I don’t think I’d be very welcome at your place. Thanks anyway, though.

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