‘Good-looking’ man suing Miami Heat for $1 billion
Nkrumah Akanno is suing the Miami Heat for $1 billion because they will not let him play for them.
Folks, we may have reached the peak of frivolous lawsuits. The Miami Heat have been sued in US District Court by a disgruntled aspiring professional basketballer named Nkrumah Akanno simply because the team will not allow him to play for them. Among other accusations, the Heat are also infringing upon Akanno’s personal brand.
The news was relayed by David Ovalle on twitter and you can see just how absurd this man’s claims are.
Miami Heat sued for $1 billion for refusing to allow good-looking dude to play for them. Yes, real federal lawsuit #MH pic.twitter.com/ApyizZAUD1
— David Ovalle (@DavidOvalle305) February 9, 2017
Really, you can’t make this stuff up.
A quick round of internet sleuthing reveals that a man by the name of Nkrumah Akanno played basketball for Kean University at some point during the 2003-04 season. For those unfamiliar with this prestigious basketball powerhouse, Kean is a public school in Northern New Jersey that plays at the Division III level.
There is a Eurobasket profile for a player with the same name as the plaintiff born in 1984, so that would line up with the timeline he was playing at Kean. Akanno played in one game for the Cougars, registering zero minutes, zero points, zero rebounds — you get the point.
A Facebook profile does exist for someone with the name Nkrumah Akanno, and the user is from New Jersey, which also fits with the Kean connection. However, it is very difficult to determine if the man is in fact too good-looking to play for the Miami Heat. He also bears very little resemblance to coach Erik Spoelstra, so it is highly unlikely the coach is copying this man in any way, shape, or form, but we will have to leave that decision up to the courts.
Next: The Lance Stephenson 10-day contract: Day 1
Honestly, if anyone has a case against an NBA team, it is Mark Titus, who founded Club Trillion while playing as a walk-on at Ohio State. A player becomes a member of Club Trillion, by playing a single minute and registering zero statistics (a one in the minutes column with 12 zeroes). Titus has gone on to bigger and better things as a journalist, but one can’t help but wonder what more he could have accomplished if NBA teams were not discriminating against good-looking dudes with marginal hooping skill.