Transformers 4: Age of Bayism, wait for Redbox


Transformers 4: Age of Extinction! The fourth installment of the multimillion dollar franchise is here. This go around we have a whole new story, leaving the past human characters in the past. The film is once again directed by Micheal Bay and stars Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammar, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, T.J. Miller, and Peter Cullen. I for one will start by saying I am a huge fan of Michael Bay, and the first three Transformer films. Coming into this one I was really excited, DinoBots, a new story arch, what was there not to be excited about?!

Little did I know.

Walking out of the theater I fully planned to give this film a decent score. Not great, but decent. I felt that it had problems but was still at its core ok. Then I started thinking about it on the way home, and go to my score card and saw the final and just realized, this was kind of slap in the face. The entire freaking film. It has a few redeeming qualities, but for the most part it’s the first time I see what most people say about Bay films. I never thought I could be bored during an intense action scene, but I got actually got a little bored at one part during an “amazing” action sequence. So let’s take a look at this.

We’ll start with the characters, humans first. Mark Wahlberg plays generic guy number 1, who you shouldn’t care about, but since its Mark Wahlberg you kind of do. His daughter is played by Nicola Peltz and she has absolutely no redeeming qualities to her. I actually wanted to see her get taken out by a Decepticon. Her boyfriend played by Jack Reynor, also, no character development, is someone you don’t care about. T.J. Miller plays the early on comic relief, and is fun to watch while he’s there but once his minor role is over, they try to turn Stanley Tucci into your comic relief, and it fails miserably. For the most part Frasier is good at his role as the generic bad guy, but not someone who really has substance.

The Autobots are pretty cool, Cullen once again is phenomenal as Prime and John Goodman steals the show as Hound. Ken Watanabe does a great job voicing Drift, but at the same time, there is no focus on them. The film tryst to focus on the humans too much. I at least found myself caring about these AutoBots. The major Decepticon, or villainous robot is Lockdown. A galactic bounty hunter that is on a mission to hunt down AutoBots and Decepticons. He is cool and villainous, but nothing can make up for a lack of Megatron. As a fan of the series, I want to see Megatron. No one will ever make up another character more awesome and villainous than the Deception leader.

The story is horribly weak as well. It follows a down on their luck family that gets thrust into a battle to save the planet. Same old story right? Just without any likeable characters, or redeeming dialogue!, in fact the dialouge in this film was horrendous. The AutoBots were lines were fine, but the when the humans had to speak it was like a bad Saturday morning television show.

The CGI, as well, was not on par with previous films. The Transformers looked okay at times, but the new transforming mechanisms of the new Transformers looked like cheap animation, and the blue screen effect were terrible. There is a scene where someone is falling out of a building, and no joke, it is worse than Dick Jones falling at the end of the Original Robocop.

And finally the Dinobots, or lack of. This film is built around the belief that the DinoBots were going to be there. Well, they are, for a very minor role. In a 2 hour and 45 minute film, you get 30 minutes of DinoBots and their back story makes no sense, their arrival makes no sense, nothing makes sense. It gets set up, and you think you know how they will show up, then right out of left field, boom, crappy arrival. It made no freaking sense and to be honest, again as a fan of the source material, these weren’t freakin’ DinoBots, but cheap imitations. It just made me mad and the more I think about it, the angrier I get.

So all in all, when I look at this one I can’t say it is the worst of the series, because Revenge of The Fallen had its flaws too, and major ones. But it definitely comes behind the original, and the Dark of the Moon. I looked at it, scored it, and went with a Jeebus Score of 2.7, Redbox It!

The Jeebus System explained:

I base films on what I call the Jeebus System, which is a 6 point grade with a possible .5 bonus. With a full 1 point given for entertainment value, story, SFX or cinematography, acting, and casting each, then a half point for direction and dialog each. Titles are given to each score, with “death penalty to all involved” to anything <.9. “You’ll see this on FXx a lot” for <1.9. “Redbox or Netflix it” for <2.9. “Check out the Matinee” for <3.9. “A good time at the theater” for <4.9. “Multiple viewings required” for <5.9. And finally, Jeebus-tacular for 6 or above.