Akron coach Terry Bowden sports the worst orange dye job in history (Photo)
By Dan Zinski
Terry Bowden has orange hair now. Flaming orange. Like a pre-chrome-dome Ron Howard.
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Why exactly did Terry choose this particular color? I’m looking through old shots of Terry Bowden and his hair’s not red.
That’s not a good look for a football coach. You’ve got to command respect in that position. You’ve got to come across as a man of distinction and good judgment.
You can’t make people think of Howdy Doody.
If you’re Bowden, why not do the touch of gray thing? That would be perfect for him. You want to come across youthful but at the same time experienced.
You’re young enough to still go out in the yard and toss the ball around, but old enough to know how to change an oil filter. Or whatever the hell those commercials are trying to tell me.
Red hair is just disturbing. Red hair says you never got your weird issues out of your system when you were young. Red hair says you’re dealing with some stuff.
Red hair says you don’t want to be who you are. Instead you want to be an Irish longshoreman. Or something.
Get that off your head Bowden. I mean it.