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ESPN talking heads evoke umbrella envy (Photo)

By Phil Watson

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When it rains, sometimes you just want a little umbrella to help keep the water off your head. The football guys at ESPN have that so beat.

To paraphrase Crocodile Dundee, “Now that’s an umbrella.”

The ESPN talking heads in Charlotte, N.C., for Saturday’s NFC wild card playoff between the Arizona Cardinals and Carolina Panthers were rocking a pair of umbrellas that were impressive in their largesse.

Steve Levy and Steve Young had one and Trent Dilfer and Ray Lewis had the other.

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I guess the network wanted to make sure Lewis wouldn’t have to throw out another suit.

The umbrellas were certainly impressive. The commentary? Meh.

Then again, it was the Cardinals and their record-breaking offense and the Panthers, who did everything in their power to carry Arizona as long as possible, much like a prize-fighter engaged in a fix will try to make sure an opponent lasts until a particular round so as to maximize the whole profit margin.

Of course, the host and the three analysts were fortunate the wind wasn’t blowing too hard; that much surface area might have led to a rough landing for the two former quarterbacks holding the gigantic things.

I mean seriously. Who knew tents came on little sticks so you could carry them around without having to hammer those little stakes into the ground.

Unless Michigan linebacker Joe Bolden was at the game, that is.

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